"Good day, fellow!" "Axe handle!" (Norwegian: "God dag, mann!" "Økseskaft!") is a Norwegian Folktale collected by Asbjørnsen and Moe and published in their Norwegian Folktales (Norske Folkeeventyr) collection (number 93). It is estimated that the tale originated in the 1770s.
A deaf (or nearly deaf) ferryman has a wife and three children who don't care about him. His family squander all their money on dringking and partying, and when their credit runs out, they leave the ferryman to deal with the creditors.
The ferryman sees the bailiff approaching his home. He doesn't like to let it be known that he is hard of hearing, so he decides to prepare his answers ahead of time. Since he is carving a wooden shaft, he guesses the bailiff will ask what he is carving, to which he will answer an axe handle. Then he reasons that his next questions will be about the handle's length, his boat, his mare, and the way to the barn.
However, the bailiff begins their conversation by wishing him a good morning, to which the man answers "Axe handle". The conversation gets increasingly absurd until the bailiff loses his patience:
Ferryman: "Axe handle."
Bailiff: "Oh, yeah—? How far is it to the innkeeper's?"
Ferryman: "Up to under this knot."
Bailiff: "Where's your wife, man?"
Ferryman: "I'm going to tar her. She is lying on the beach and has a crack in each end."
Bailiff: "Where's your daughter?"
Ferryman: "Oh, she's in the stable, ready to foal."
Bailiff: "Go to Hell, you silly old man!"
Ferryman: "Yes, it's not far; when you come up the hill, you're nearly there."''
This tale became so well-known across Scandinavia that "Good day, fellow - Axe handle" became synonymous with "non sequitur", and a popular North European idiom for "like talking to a brick wall".
A translation can be read here
and here. It can be read in the original Norwegian in Projekt Runeberg.
The tale is classified in the Aarne-Thompson-Uther Index as a Type 1698 "The Stupid Man" and Type 1698J "'Good day,' -'a woodshopper'".
Tropes:
- Cloudcuckoolander: The bailiff comes to believe the ferryman is a loony or a jokester because of his absurd replies.
- Complexity Addiction: The whole confusing exchange would have been avoided if the ferryman would have answered "I'm sorry, I'm almost deaf" when the bailiff first spoke instead of imagining a hypothetical conversation.
- Everyone Calls Him "Barkeep": The names of the ferryman and the bailiff are unknown.
- Gold Digger: The ferryman's wife stood by his side until he ran out of money. Then she abandoned him.
- Jerkass: After frittering away their savings and accumulating debts, the deaf ferryman's family simply abandons him to pay their bills without a second thought.
- Karma Houdini: The wife and children do not face repercussions for their atrocious, careless behavior.
- No Antagonist: The only conflict is a silly but hilarious misunderstanding.
- No Name Given: The ferryman's wife, sons and daughter, who caused the whole mess, remain nameless.
- Non Sequitur: This story's title has become synonymous with "non sequitur" in Scandinavia and Finland due to the ferryman remaining unaware that the bailiff is not following his pre-made script.
- Rule of Three: The man has two sons and one daughter.
- Stunned Silence: At least once the bailiff is left speechless by the main character's nonsensical replies.However, the first thing the bailiff says is "Good day, fellow!" He replies "Axe handle!", thinking himself clever.
Next the bailiff asks how far it is to the inn. "Up to this knot!" he replies, pointing to the axe handle.
The bailiff shakes his head and stares at him.
