If you can't be a good example, you'll just have to be a horrible warning.
— Gwen Goodnight's motto
A 2011 romantic comedy novel by Jennifer Crusie about the Goodnight family and Davy Dempsey (who we met in Welcome to Temptation). Tilda is in the closet trying to steal back a painting that shouldn't have been sold from her family's gallery, and Davy is in the closet trying to steal back the money Clea earlier stole from him. Intrigued, Davy decides to help Tilda steal back the rest of the paintings and help her bring back the gallery to its former glory. Helping them is Tilda's family and Davy's friend Simon, rounding out a colorful cast of characters.
This book provides examples of:
- Accidental Public Confession: Mason, the public being the FBI.
- Betty and Veronica: Discussed using the terms muffin (Betty) and doughnut (Veronica). The doughnut is exciting and fun and gorgeous, whereas the muffin just kinds of sit there, "lumpy, looking alike, no chocolate frosting." But while the doughnut is good for a one night stand, its sticky and no longer crispy the next morning. Muffins, however, taste better the next day, and are there for the long haul.Davy: What's Simon?Nadine: Doughnut. With sprinkles.
- During the story, they give names to different personalities, and two of them are Betty and Veronica. She acts exactly as you'd expect her to.
- Card Sharp: The Dempseys. Michael ends up teaching Nadine.
- Closet Shuffle: Davy and Tilda meet when they are both hiding in someone else's closet.
- The Con: A number of them throughout the story. Davy gives Dillie the Dempsey five step process on how to pull this off.
- Idealized Sex: Notably averted in the beginning. The first few times Davy and Tilda have sex, it ranges from okay to bad.
- I Never Said It Was Poison: Mason
- Meet Cute: Davy and Tilda meet in a (very large) closet.
- Mistaken Confession: Clea is talking about making Davy leave her alone. Ford is talking about killing him. Subverted in that Ford is really FBI and would have arrested Clea but she never said enough for a 'confession'.
- Poor Communication Kills: Tilda thinking Davy was a cop did not help.
- Quirky Household: Gwen has anger issues, Eve has two identities, Tilda spends most of the book trying to steal paintings, both Eve and Tilda may still have feelings for Andrew (Nadine's gay father who owns an impersonator club), Nadine does things like dress up as Lucy for her dentist, and Steve (the dog) tries to hump the neighbor's cat. The only plain one is Jeff (Andrew's partner), the lawyer.He looked closer and saw a naked Adam and a naked Eve standing under a spreading cross-stitch tree surrounded by tiny animals with tiny teeth, and under them a verse: When Eve ate the apple/Her knowledge increased/But God liked dumb women/So Paradise ceased. Gwen Goodnight. Her Work. Remember to be nice to Gwennie, he thought.
- The Reveal: Though the audience knows, its a shock to Davy to find out Tilda is Scarlet.
- Simon finding out Louise is really Eve.
