"bodies bodies everywhere but not a drop to investigate. I f*** hate funerals said clink next to the preacher as he spoke and ate a hotdog".
"Joseph Klink swerves his eyes around like a vulture searching for its food found no food malaysian hot s*** looks like it's cold Chinese again today he murmured to himself through the side of his mouth."
— The first line of the book.
Clink: Begins: Unabridged Version (2018) is an experimental crime novel by Casper Gray. The story was spoken into a phone through speech-to-text and, save the last few chapters, remained unedited. This leads to Rouge Angles of Satin and general Mind Screw.
The story tells of Joe Clink, an irritable police detective with a penchant for killing. He must go up against his arch foe, a serial killer who shoves barbed water down peoples' throats. Oh, and Clink also has some sort of empathy curse given to him by a demon.
This work provides examples of:
- Alas, Poor Villain: A strange case; Carver Ridges doesn't really have any redeeming qualities or a tragic backstory, but Clink is still shaken up by watching him die despite killing dozens of people before him.
- Ambiguously Bi:
- Carver Ridges asks Ferdinand out, but also seems very... into Clink.
- Clink himself has been married before, but seems to enjoy the gay bar...
- Ambiguously Gay: Wilfred Harding, whose admiration for Clink comes across as romantic.
- Anti-Hero: Clink.
- Ax-Crazy: Carver Ridges and Clink are both this.
- Berserk Button: Cold Chinese food.
- Bread, Eggs, Milk, Squick: "His crime was a simple one as old as murder and robbery and police brutality, taking barbed wire and putting it down people's throats."
- The Empath: "Ever since that day he had had a very special curse. Joseph Klink age 29 felt other people's pain and they felt his."
- Hardboiled Detective: Clink's internal monologue paints him as one.
- Improbable Weapon User: Clink impales his enemies writing pen when he has no other weapon.
- Insane Troll Logic: Carver Ridges's defense; "in court was simple enough was dental floss he said. headlines in new Niles that day that week that month red I thought it was dental floss and had a confused looking innocent looking picture of the man and ignorant as they always were. is only district attorney Mathis Howard finally came up with a hole in this defense people don't put dental floss down their throats so ridges attorney opted the First Amendment to bear arms."
- Knight in Sour Armor: Clink.
- Mood Whiplash: The last few chapters are edited and deal with grief, empathy, toxic masculinity, and accountability; and for the most part, play them straight.
- Noodle Incident: "ever since the day you had made that deal with that being from the Dark Realm that shadowy creature that game show host I need like it's rag dolls [...] Ever since that day he had had a very special curse. Joseph Klink age 29 felt other people's pain and they felt his."
- Police Brutality: Clink kills first and asks questions later. At the end, he calls out the other police for their brutality, as well.
- Private Eye Monologue: The protagonist is a police detective, not a private eye; but his rambling thoughts could still be taken as this.
- Reading the Stage Directions Out Loud: Since the book is speech-to-text, "Enter Enter" will often show up when the writer wants to start a new paragraph.
- Refuge in Audacity: A policeman who abuses his authority and relishes killing people? Pretty terrible. Him killing a dozen men with an office pen? Hilarious.
- Rouge Angles of Satin: A variant; most of the words are spelled right, but because the book is written in unedited speech-to-text, there's next to no punctuation and the words may be completely different from what Gray intended.
- Shout-Out: Clink fights the bad guy at an office Christmas party like in Die Hard.
- Sociopathic Hero: Clink.
-
Tear Jerker:- The origin of why Clink eats hotdogs at funerals: When Clink was little, his father passed away. He acted as callous as possible because he believed it made him stronger than all the people sobbing. But when he's alone, he completely breaks down.
- Wilfred's death.
- Ultimate Job Security: How Clink hasn't been arrested yet, let alone fired as a Detective, is anybody's guess.
