It is the year 2015, and a bomb is headed towards earth. This weapon had been sent by the Ostar, a highly advanced race of intelligent canines, currently suffering from our catchy pop music endlessly repeating in their heads, driving them insane and disabling all ability to think coherently. Equipped with a vast artificial intelligence, it sends a "Dirter" (Human) probe to better assess the planet and its defenses, especially because it had managed to stop its predecessor the Mk. I.
Lucy Pavlov is the creator of PavSoft, the most highly advanced OS there has ever been. With thanks to her programming genius and ability to solve problems by ripping out the very foundations and establishing new, more efficient ones, she has become the richest woman on Earth, alongside a globally loved figure, topping the "Most Beautiful Woman on Earth" lists several years running. Though the she is a true to life example of a woman who has it all, something is bugging her: every single memory she'd ever had from five years ago is gone without a trace.
George Stetchkin is an alcoholic and a security head. In the process of investigating the mysterious disappearance of fresh, heavily guarded bank notes—seemingly teleported out of the vaults—he meets two mysterious individuals and gets roped into a gigantic, convoluted mess of an adventure with the fate of the planet in the balance.
These three seemingly unconnected plots come together to form the outrageous, fast-paced, and often hilarious events of this book.
This book contains examples of:
- The Alcoholic: George Stetchkin.
- Becoming the Mask: "Mark Twain," the Mk. II bomb's Type-6 "Dirter" Probe steadily begins to develop a personality of his own, becoming more and more human as it severs contact with the mainframe. It is later revealed that Lucy had done the same.
- Chekhov's Gun: Very, very many plot elements and gags come back with vastly more important roles.
- Chekhov's Skill: George's time as a Creature of Pure Text gives him unparalleled hacking skills.
- Chekhov M.I.A.: The Mk. I bomb? It wasn't shot down: it's Lucy Pavlov.
- Drowning My Sorrows: George Stetchkin, especially as the adventure becomes more and more convoluted.
- Fake Memories: "Mark Twain" has them to hide the fact that he's not human. Lucy has been trying to erase hers.
- Foreshadowing: Lucy debates that she either has an enemy trying to erase her memories or that she has been doing it for her own sake, a reason she has obviously forgotten about. It's a damn good one: she is the Mk. I bomb.
- Laser-Guided Amnesia: Lucy Pavlov has forgotten about everything except the last five years.
- Named After Someone Famous: "Mark Twain," the Mk. II bomb's Type-6 "Dirter" Human probe, with thanks to its inability to properly use its cultural database.
- Parody Sue: Lucy Pavlov. She's smart, universally loved, an amazingly talented programmer, and consequently the richest person in the world because of her product and its descendants, PavSoft. Justified in that she's a hyper-advanced alien AI, and could very well play every last factor that would make her that way.
- Red Herring: Siberian Werewolves, Siberian Military silver-tipped bullets, and the Siberian Farm Boy guard in Lucy's private reserve.
- Shout-Out Theme Naming: "Lucy" as in "Lucy in the sky with diamonds." Lucy/Mk. I had made it as a joke because she was orbiting the earth, ready to blow it up.
- Title Drop: As Lucy is the Mk. I, she is, quite literally, a "Blonde Bombshell."
- Tomato in the Mirror: After her hunt for aliens, Lucy discovers she is one.
- The Reveal: Lucy is the Mk. I bomb.
- The Earth Radio Waves are not the problem—it's a tower the Military Director had built himself on the planet, to gain an excuse to blow up Earth.
- The Ostar are descended from Earth Beagles.
- The Ostar Director is George's abducted dog.
