Once upon a time, in a far off kingdom, lived an accursed girl, doomed to be "a wretched creature that dwells only in darkness," as declared by a bodiless head who cursed her family line. Things didn't quite work out that way. The protagonist, the titular witch, is instead cursed with eternal youth and beauty, which is a bit of a disadvantage in her line of work, as witches are generally expected to be ugly old hags.
After the murder of her mentor, the protagonist, along with her familiar, a duck named Newt, go on an quest to discover and avenge themselves on the perpetrator. Along the way, they add to their party a Troll, a White Knight, and an animate broom.
This book by A. Lee Martinez, described as a tale of "magic, true love, and cannibalism," lives up to that, being a satirical look at fairytale clichés, and how hard it is to find true happiness and love when living as a cursed creature with an appetite for human flesh.
The short story "Penelope and the Willful Blade" is set after the events of the novel, where Penelope the Living Broom helps undo the evil machinations of a warlord, was published in the 2013 anthology book Robots versus Slime Monsters.
Tropes:
- All Trolls Are Different: Trolls are portrayed as a humanoid race of rock people who's body parts are interchangeable like Mr. Potato Head. While not mindless like godlings, they are typically seen as brutes who rely more on base cunning and brute strength to get by.
- The Archmage: Incarnates are considered the highest form of magic-user, being so skilled at a specific magical discipline that they have Physical God-levels of power. It's believed that Nasty Larry — the Evil Sorcerer responsible for the Witch's curse — was an incarnate, and the book's Big Bad Soulless Gustav is an Incarnate of Illusion Magic.
- Dying Curse: The protagonist's great-great-great-great-grandfather slew an evil wizard who, with his dying breath, cursed him and his bloodline.
- Godhood Seeker: Soulless Gustav's ambition is to replace reality with an illusionary world that he rules. He even proclaims to be the god of his domain during his Villainous Breakdown.
- Hereditary Curse: The curse on the protagonist's bloodline is that the sixth child of every generation "shall be made a gruesome abomination".
- Immortality Begins at Twenty: The title protagonist is cursed to be born undead. Upon turning eighteen, she stops aging and is cursed with eternal youth and beauty.
- Sentient Cosmic Force: Magic itself is portrayed less like a science or a resource and more like a formless Mad God that "allows" witches and wizards and other spellcasters to use it to perform tricks. Part of the eccentricity most commonly associated with magic-users is simply shrugging at this fact and letting the magic do what it wants.
- Weaksauce Weakness: While illusion magic can be deceptively impressive, all it takes is disbelief in its properties to render it harmless, not unlike how a lucid dreamer can take control over the contents of their dreams. The Witch is able to undo his carefully crafted simulated universe — including the graphic deaths of her comrades — by refusing to acknowledge that any of it is actually happening.
- Your Mind Makes It Real: Illusion Magic has this idea in mind. Those well-versed enough in it can conjure illusions of things so life-like, they can affect you as though they were real. Soulless Gustave manages to conjure up an army godlings (real godlings too savage and animalistic to be so organized) that's just as dangerous as a real army because the Witch couldn't convince the human army entirely that they aren't real. Soulless Gustave's Evil Plan is later revealed that he intends on replacing reality with an illusionary world in his own image.
