Just For Fun / TV Tropes Additional Hero Vows Pod A

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1. If there are two minions within arms' reach, my armed bodyguard will be instructed to knock their heads into each other, and then vamoose!
2. When conducting any test runs or training runs, I will not make any hard fast rules I myself would not feel comfortable honoring. Well, except for one: "Try not to kill each other."
3. I will ignore Rule #3 of the original list. It's just very unheroic to refuse to rescue any hostages for no reason.
4. If any friend of mine is rescued (seemingly unharmed) from a sinister laboratory, they will be carefully checked over to make sure they haven't been replaced with an evil knockoff, or forcefully transformed into a Super-Soldier against their will. Nothing takes the sheen off a heroic rescue like having one of your commanders killed in his sleep by his own "rescued" wife.
5. If I discover that my friend has been augmented into some sort of super soldier by my enemies, I will take appropriate precautions, but I will still hear them out. Especially if they've already proven to be brainwashed before; rejecting their redemption isn't very heroic.
6. If I can't somehow have the mind control device removed from the super soldier, I will instead try to have my own allies install a failsafe mechanism that causes them to transmit a radio signal saying "WARNING: [Insert name here] HAS BEEN BRAINWASHED!" and causes them to glow bright red.
7. My battle gear will include the best helmet I can get my hands on. Seeing my face might be good for my comrades-in-arms' morale, but keeping it in one piece would be even better.
8. I will avoid any contest of skill hosted by the Overlord. As the Hero, I have plenty better ways to get PR points, and if I cared what the Overlord thought of me, I wouldn't be trying to overthrow them.
9. The parking garage is for shopping, not hiding out.
10. If an ally busts through the doors sweating and out of breath, I will instruct him to take a seat and rest a little to get his bearings first. Being in a state like that, chances are this is going to be important.
11. If my kid sidekick keeps trying to borrow my equipment, I'll get them their own.
12. If I meet my mentor's mentor, I'll remember that their occupational hazard goes double for them.
13. I will refer any plucky orphan children with a grudge against the Overlord to a good social worker far away from the front lines. What they call "sidekicks", I call "child soldiers" and "inevitable hostages".
14. I will not maintain an absolute rule of never killing anyone. It's fine if I value human life enough to spare the average bad guy, but there are clearly some individuals who are too dangerous to be left alive.
15. If the Overlord's minions decide to give chase, my allies will be instructed to lure them all the way outside their field — and therefore away from their position — before engaging in any further combat.
16. The next time that I must recapture an infamous criminal mastermind who's well known for repeatedly escaping from the same poorly guarded jail many times, I will persuade the authorities to just lock them up in the nation's (or world's) best supermax prison.
17. No matter how boring I find the labor, I will not refuse any mundane tasks assigned to me by my mentor for any reason. Those old masters tend to have tons of tricks up their sleeves, and are definitely not shy about using them.
18. If I'm a superhero with a secret identity, I will immediately notify all trusted friends and family members. Having to invent lies and excuses is not worth the hassle of frustrating my loved ones.
19. Before admitting anyone into my allied forces in any capacity, I will put them on cleaning and maintenance duty at our base of operations for a full month (also see #17).
20. If my arch-nemesis is killed during our climactic confrontation, I will verify that his body is really dead; if so, I will cremate him into a pile of ashes, and then scatter the ashes through the wind. This is to reduce the chances of him coming Back from the Dead.
21. If I'm a kid or teen with superpowers, I'll wait until I'm an adult and move out of the house before I start fighting evil. Thus, I won't have to deal with my parents if they don't want me to risk my life. Also, I should be focused on finishing my education first.
22. The time to engage my opposite number is when (1) I have a completely straight and clear shot, and (2) my allied forces and / or Anti-Hero associates have disposed of enough minions to complicate any counter-initiatives. Otherwise, I will not actively attempt to seek him out.
23. As tempting as it may be, I will not date any villainesses. For obvious reasons, these kinds of relationships never work out well. I'll only change my mind if she sincerely reforms her wicked ways first.
24. For the most part, I will stay the hell away from time travel; due to the risk of paradoxes, butterfly effects, and other troublesome consequences of attempting to use it for my own gain. I will only ever use a time machine if I must correct any catastrophic meddling caused by a time-travelling villain.
25. I will take care to manage my personal brand. If I've made it this far without killing anyone, shooting the villain will probably cause more problems than it would solve, in tedious drama at a bare minimum. I'll leave that side of things to my Anti-Hero associates; they thrive on grittiness anyway.
26. There's a good chance our first task is going to involve a lot of plain dumb luck and winging it. Should any of my core allies still be around after that first challenge, we will use the downtime to get a basic grounding in each other’s area of expertise.
27. Whenever my allied forces need helmets, and the funds and means are available, they will all be outfitted with transparent anti-scratch plexiglass visors and sturdy neck pieces.
28. If I'm ever involved in any kind of vehicular combat (Especially the ones with giant robots), I will make sure to make my vehicle stand out via paint jobs or decorations.
29. Regardless of the setting and the genre of the work I'm in, I will avoid entering any location with only one exit or light source if it is unnecessary.
30. I will try to implement a system which will automatically bleeps out any fate tempting statements made by anyone on my team including me.
31. If I have failed several times stopping the evil overlord from trying to unseal the Sealed Evil in a Can or to gather parts needed for his doomsday device, I will stop trying to foil his Evil Plan and instead wait and prepare to stop him when he is almost or already completed since I probably can't foil his plan so early.
32. My traveling party will always include several women — including one or two not built like tavern wenches. Invariably we will encounter a beauty trap and need someone who isn’t likely to fall for it.
33. Among the women in my traveling party will be at least one Girl Friday. Unless he has one of his own, the Overlord is almost certainly sure to be surprised by a battle-savvy secretary.
34. I will take detailed notes on my entire journey and every little details about everything I did, everyone I met and every problem I have encountered and overcame. Since memory loss can easily happen to me, especially after I just did some awesome things. Keeping a record like this will make sure that I can recover from any memory lost of this sort. In addition, it will also help should I absolutely have to Time Travel or pull a Memory Gambit. Multiple copies of the note will be kept at different places and frequently updated.
35. If, heaven forbid, the Overlord does capture me despite my best efforts, I will not ask him, “What’s all this about?” That’s probably the quickest way to get a bullet to the head.
36. I will remind myself that talking is not always a free action and me and my conversation partner can be doing other things while talking.
37. When setting out for the raid, I will have at least two minivans ready. The drivers will remain at their vehicles – at least one inside and one outside the gates – in case of trouble, each with their own reinforcements.
38. If I am capable of transforming into a super-powered form, I will not do so in front of my enemy unless I have some kind of protection during this highly-vulnerable moment, such as deflector shields or a cadre of bodyguards.
39. If I am aware either that: I can be easily resurrected by my own power; or I am already technically "dead"; or My teammate can easily heal and revive me; or I have been killed and recovered through some other methods multiple times before; then I will be Honor Before Reason and make Heroic Sacrifice whenever the situation demands. I can also fake my own death or fake someone else's to get out of some nastly situations quickly.
40. Since this is real life and not a JRPG, I'm not restricted by any Arbitrary Headcount Limit, so I will bring as many allies into a fight as possible. Of course, not all of them will follow me closely, as my long range wizards or artillery units will be standing and provide support at a safe distance while my dragons or gunships soar through the battlefield and rains Death from Above.
41. Unless it is a clearly established emergency, my allied forces will not interfere in the operations of local agencies. We might need their support later.
42. Just because I am a wizard doesn't mean I can't use a gun, if I can master all these difficult spells, trying to shoot and aim should be no problem. Therefore, if my team includes both technology-based fighters and magic/psionic/superpower users, not only will I train my power users to use modern or futuristic firearms, they will also learn some basics in vehicular combat so they wouldn't be defenseless without their powers. Also, I will introduce some entry level magic to my soldiers if it is possible for them to learn it.
43. Everyone, including those that have no knowledge in swordsmanship, will have a Wooden Katana as a last resort backup weapon.
44. I will set up two distinct forces: a Have side that can easily fund new activity and equipment, and a Have Not side that builds from flesh and blood.
45. If we need to enter a compound where confrontation is a certainty, all of my traveling party will wear full mottled grey outfits rather than slick black.
46. While I do understand that true heroism is done for the sake of altruism rather than expecting rewards or recognition, if possible I will try to find a way to make it a full-time (well-)paid job. The reason is simple; even after saving the world, I still need to pay the bills, and trying to juggle being a volunteer superhero with a part-time (ill-)paid job or school is very inconveniently time-consuming.
47. For similar reasons as the above, I will try to put a reasonable time limit or regular schedule for my heroism, if I must balance it with a normal life. I'll try to join not just a small team, but a large organization of heroes, so that lesser individual responsibility may give me a greater amount of free time.
48. Before any sort of raid, I will send a scout or two into the fortress and / or onto the grounds disguised as a janitor or secretary. (Unless there is a confirmation of an actual take-out order, this tactic will not be considered for deliveries.) During the actual raid, they will remain at the base with the defensive forces.
49. I will assume everyone I come across that look like they can't hurt a fly is a Hidden Badass, especially if he/she is a nerd, a innocent child, or a cute teenager. The chances are that they are almost always either a Badass Bookworm, The Kid with the Remote Control, a Badass Adorable, a Waif-Fu, a Cute Bruiser or a Girly Bruiser and so on. Therefore, not only will I treat them with courtesy (which can be something new to them since they are usually overlooked) and look for potential for them to join my team, as while they are very nice people, they can easily destroy anyone that messes with them. On the other hand, I will also be on the lookout for such innocent enemies.
50. My base of operations, be it a Cool Spaceship, a Heroes "R" Us headquarters or just a ordinary compound, will be equipped with at least 3 different source of power. Similarly, everything that can have a fail safe system will have one on it, plus multiple redundant mechanism in case of failure. In addition, protection against EMP and ionization will be a standard on every piece of equipment. Finally, I will make sure those goddamned blast doors close quickly and all at the SAME TIME instead of a slow and dramatic one-by-one shut down.
51. Related to the rule above, if I do have a Cool Spaceship, not only will I have multiple power sources onboard, I will also install multiple shielding systems and leave at least one of them on at all times. Alternatively, I will invest in interception systems or opt for a drone swarm. Also, my ship will have multiple different Faster-Than-Light Travel systems, so in case my wormhole generator is damaged and my hyperdrive is restricted by a gravity projection, I can still escape using my warp drive.
52. If I have to carry out any sort of clandestine operation, I will act as if the enemy has already find out about our plan and countered accordingly. And if we do get compromised, I will make sure that I can call a backup army that is still enough to complete the mission in the most not undercover way possible.
53. I will appeal mainly to the self-interest of any new members of my forces. Like the sleazy politico, they have their own reasons and motivations for involvement.
54. I will tell all my True Companions about my backstory and I will listen to theirs. Hiding all those details can and will make things unnecessarily difficult and can undermine our relationship.
55. Instead of a twee little monkey or ferret or the like, my familiar will be a venomous snake or something similarly capable of defending itself. Bonus points if the pet triggers a phobia in the villain. Even so, I won't overlook cute and deadly pets.
56. If my boss begins acting strangely, especially if his eyes or appearance look suspicious, I will draw appropriate conclusions.
57. If I ever become aware of information of something fantastic or unusual in my setting, I will not tell the police the whole truth of the story, lest they think I'm insane. I will instead give them a plausible-sounding story about the villain, and then let them figure out the rest when they arrive to help me.
58. If my strength is as that of ten men, I will not pick a fight with eleven bad guys.
59. If my strength comes from my pure heart, I will also remember Lancelot and make sure to keep my heart (and other parts) pure, or at least weigh the "strength of ten" thing against the momentary pleasure of a boinking.
60. If one of my teammates suddenly starts to regularly separate from the group or act excessively emotional, I will make the time to take them aside and ask why, even if they're naturally a loner. If I'm wrong, there's no harm done, and if I'm right, I may have just uncovered a traitor—or PTSD issues beyond the norm.
61. If a villain is blackmailing me, I shall not automatically assume that my teammates cannot help me. Unless said villain has a method of instantly killing them if I reveal the truth, which is unlikely, I will tell my companions about any forced compliance or revealed plans, and we will work something out.
62. Before carrying out any ritual to increase my power, I will read up on any psychoactive effects the ritual may have, and take appropriate medication.
63. If I suddenly realize that the Big Bad's Evil Plan may have a completely different goal from the one I've been assuming, I will not think about it for a week while muttering "it couldn't be!" to myself. Instead, I will tell someone.
64. I will consider forming a secret identity before gallivanting off on any heroics or villainy; being open tends to cause social and legal problems, while surrounding you with entirely useless flunkies/groupies.
65. If I have a secret identity, it will not use a Sdrawkcab Alias; they always get seen through quickest. I will also tell my loved ones as soon as possible. A general rule for revealing it to people I date is that if the person has been with me for a month, they're not a villain in disguise. Also, if informing my friends/family about details of my Heroic Struggle would not be a danger to them or detrimental to the cause, I will keep them updated on the dangers I discover. It could save their lives someday.
66. I will not assume that the villains' plans on whom they will attack all revolve around me. Whether it's my friends and family to even some innocent nameless villagers, villains are generally not picky on whom they want to do bad things to.
67. My allies and I will decide in advance who will be saved if any of us are forced to make a Sadistic Choice or Friend-or-Idol Decision.
68. If the conflict I am fighting in obeys some ancient traditions, I will not break them to get an advantage, that is Villain territory; and breaking them first will result in Karmic Backslash. If someone else does it first then all bets are off.
69. If I am the hero and find myself, for some reason or another, planning a heroic sacrifice and/or suicide, I will sit down for a minute and think before doing anything drastic. Yes, it may be difficult to think clearly when contemplating one's imminent death, but if I didn't have the willpower to push through that, I probably wouldn't be a hero. I will use common sense to think about how my death would affect my loved ones, followers, location, and even the inanimate objects I protect from evil. There are worlds where all the Heroes have died. They are not pretty.
70. If one of my friends suddenly starts wearing all black, Spikes of Villainy, or the like, I will look into why.
71. I will understand that illegal bomb-makers DO NOT have a manual or training course. They will not helpfully color code the wiring, which is likely all to come off one reel, and cut to length as needed.
72. If I truly must be a Celibate Hero, I will try to be fairly knowledgeable about all the folks whom I work with. If any of them might be sexually attracted to me, I will try to be civil about it and if I must I will let them down gently, but definitely keep friendship as an option if necessary. I will not flat out ignore them (especially if they are generally respectable people). Because fans and the like are more forgiving towards Celibate heroes if they aren't being used as a plot device to keep other characters in a perpetually unrequited romance just for the sake of one.
73. If possible, my team will consist only of mature, well-adjusted adults; as emotionally unstable people seem all too easily lured to The Dark Side. If having an emotionally unstable member on my team is unavoidable, they will be encouraged to come straight to me with whatever is troubling them, I will do my best to help rather than dismissing their fears and they will under no circumstances be allowed to spend any time alone with some creepy old guy.
74. If I'm training the next Hero, I won't hide any vital pieces of information from him/her. It doesn't matter that my pupil may not be ready to master the Dangerous Forbidden Technique or handle his possible connection to the Big Bad; Mentor Occupational Hazard means I'm going to die soon and the hero will learn the truth anyway, probably in circumstances that are less than ideal. I don't want him/her to suffer a Heroic BSoD because of the villain's Hannibal Lecture or be forced to master my final technique in the one month left to before the Final Battle.
75. If, while I am resting at home between critical stages of my adventure, a man with a large crate comes to the door and says I have a package that I didn't order, I will kick him in the groin. Harsh, yes, but it's that or get stuffed in the crate and get taken to goodness-knows-where, so rather him than me.
76. I will get all my ethical dilemma crap out of the way early on so that I know whether I'd be able to shoot the Big Bad when I have the chance or not. If future events make me feel that I must re-evaluate my principles, I will do it sooner rather than later.
77. I will never tell the Villain mid-fight to "chill out". This will prompt them to say "very well" and fire a hidden ice weapon.
78. I will try to avoid fighting with villains that have hypnotic powers, as they will try to brainwash you with them.
79. If I turn a corner and suddenly encounter an army of mooks pointing their weapons at me and everyone freezes, I will remember that my first action will cause them to open fire. Therefore, rather than making it a short quip, I will start running.
80. I will recognize that some names are just associated with bad guys as a rule. For example, someone named "Destroyo" is probably up to no good, otherwise they'd go with "Life-Buildo or Have a Nice Dayo".
81. If the team has acquired a crucial MacGuffin and has to transport it somewhere, then the person I entrust it to will be both the strongest and the most trustworthy person I know. If that person is myself then regardless of whoever else is available, I will not let anyone else get their paws on it for love nor money. In the event that someone tries to offer either love or money in return for being able to carry it then I will not only refuse, but will also make sure to remove that person from my list of trustworthy people. There will be plenty of time for sex and profiting after the world isn't in mortal danger.
82. When trying to reason with a villain on a Roaring Rampage of Revenge, no one on my side of the negotiations will be allowed to say "We can give you anything you want". The villain will respond "I want my X back" and lose rationality, resetting all our efforts and resulting in nothing but a big waste of time.
83. I will never pick sides between two powerful forces fighting over mankind's future with equally extreme yet opposite philosophies. Choosing to be neutral and fight both sides will always end up leading to a far better outcome for humanity and myself.
84. If I'm working for a government agency like the FBI or a wealthy benefactor with connections to the same, I will make use of those connections if the sheriff and/or some other local official becomes hostile and tries to impede my investigation. Odds are that they're corrupt and in on the crime I'm investigating.
85. Alternately, if a sidekick is too much of a blabbermouth, I will let him wander into enemy territory by himself. It’s a two-for-one deal: the nuisance is Trapped Behind Enemy Lines, and the enemy is wasting precious resources on him.
86. In daytime and peacetime, my allies and I will dress as the rank and file. Even pastels and bolds can safely be worn in a crowd. However, more specific color schemes will be reserved for other events.
87. I will keep in track of the surrounding and environment I'm currently traveling in. If I ever find myself in a grand and atmospheric location, I will be prepared as this can be a major point of my journey, assuming this is not where it ends.
88. I will acknowledge that when trying to escape a large blockade, an enemy controlled territory, a restricted dystopian city or any other sort of overwatched Closed Circle, stealth may not always be the best option. If circumstances allow and all previous sneaky attempts have failed, I can use the brute force method to destroy whatever is in our way and escape in chaos.
89. It's probably extremely likely that there are some powerful and shady organizations, cults or conspiracies around in the form of The Omniscient Council of Vagueness, The Illuminati, Nebulous Evil Organisation, Secret Circle of Secrets, or Ancient Conspiracy that may or may not have anything to do with the Big Bad. While I can't do anything about them, I will assume that they have an eye on me, and I will try to investigate the truth of them while watching me and my companions' actions to avoid being an Unwitting Pawn in their gambits.
90. If I'm given control of a Humongous Mecha and/or Combining Mecha, the first order of business will be to learn as much as possible about how the damn thing works and what I have to do to use it to its fullest potential.
91. I will upgrade and maintain the above mecha regularly to at least keep it up to spec with current enemy mecha technology, and set finding and recovering better mecha technology as top priority behind fighting the Big Bad.
92. Before any head-on confrontation, I will determine what and where the Overlord’s supply line is. If can’t cut it off completely, at least I can disrupt it.
93. While I will try my best to keep my Unique Protagonist Asset a secret from those malicious individuals of interest, I will know that sooner or later, my special power will come to the public's attention, and therefore I will not refrain from using my special power solely for keeping it as a secret. What I will do, however, it so spread different misinformation about my power around while keeping my trusted allies informed.
94. If I ever have to investigate an ominous location where nobody has returned alive, be it a Haunted House, a Old, Dark House, an Abandoned Laboratory or any kind of Eldritch Location, I will take as many people with me as I can and never split up. Alternatively, if I'm tasked with exterminating whatever rests within, I will blow the entire place up from a safe distance.
95. If I have some Super-Senses and just feels "something isn't right", I will never assume that It's Probably Nothing and I will tell everyone about it. Similarly, if someone on my team tells me that, I will not simply dismiss it either.
96. I will try to take rule #88 above into consideration when trying to infiltrate an enemy base or mounting a rescue mission, since while the villain might be Genre Savvy enough to counter my stealth tactics, it wouldn't be much help if I just decided to brute force through with my team.
97. I will play music in me and my allies' headphones or ear communicators. When charging into battles, a selection of epic uplifting orchestra or hybrid rock soundtrack will play.
98. I will listen to every little seemingly insignificant suggestions from any one on my team. In fact, I will actively talk to everyone, since not only can this be helpful and strengthen our relationship, it's just that likely that someone have some vital information that he/she will not say unless I talk to them.
99. I and some of my allies will practice in speech skills, not only it will be used to convince any defeated enemy to join us, it will be be used to trick the Big Bad into Evil Gloating when we confront him to waste his time.
100. Whenever there is a close-up physical confrontation between an ally and an opponent, my allies will make no attempt to directly intervene. Instead, they will form a barricade around the combatants. The enemy will be blocked off on all sides if s/he tries to make a run for it.