Just For Fun / TV Tropes Additional Evil Overlord Vows Cellblock P

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1501. If I am a villain on My Little Pony: Friendship Is Magic, I will knock out that meddling purple unicorn/alicorn on sight, before she uses the overpowered magic of friendship to save the day. Or if I have other things to do, I will hire a goon or two to restrain her.
1502. I will always assume the hero has rigged their base of operations to explode should they be soundly defeated. My forces will also be taught to assume this so that if the base seems strangely deserted, my forces and I will promptly flee before its detonation.
1503. The Illiad will be required reading material. It’ll serve as a good reminder that should anything get left behind by the heroes after a battle, regardless of reason, it’s best to assume it’s a trap.
1504. If there is a sneaky trader in information, weapons, or anything else useful to me and/or the heroes, I will have them carefully investigated and put under surveillance. Too many of them either cave to "pressure" applied by the Anti-Hero or The Lancer, or find their conscience at inconvenient (for me) times. Those who do either will be shot in the head, twice.
1505. If I am a villain on Fire Emblem, I will not patiently wait for the heroes to move into position. While they are taking their turn, I will have my inexplicably large army rush them all at once.
1506. I shall remember to bring popcorn, or some other snack, preferably a healthy one. After all, if casting magic requires energy, I might need a bite to eat afterwards. Of course, if the Hero is giving a long-winded speech, I'd at least have something to throw at them, if I was in a trolling mood.
1507. If I stumble across a cache of weapons not native to my world, and said weapons are indeed very powerful, I shall figure out how to make more of them, and, most importantly, where said weapons came from.
1508. Know when not to be a brutal killing machine. Live prisoners tell more information than dead ones. Also, sometimes petting the dog makes things easy and the prisoners loyal. One can always kick the dog later. For delicious Irony, I can make the loyal prisoners turn on my enemies and inflict maximum damage on them.
1509. Make sure that disloyal/ungrateful colonists haven't made friends with other races that might help them out if I decide to kill said colonists.
1510. I will make sure I am either Immune to Fate or can change it as soon as possible. Especially if there's a prophecy about my defeat is even jokingly rumoured. The reason for this should be pretty obvious.
1511. If I don't particularly care for crossing moral boundaries or PR and invoke Death of Personality on anyone to become my servant, I will make sure it is irreversible or at least the way to reverse it can easily be defended (if the original personality is stored somewhere) or countered.
1512. If someone else transcribes my orders, I will make sure they spellcheck what I write down and confirm the meaning. I do not want an order of "Leave the hero to die in the desert" to result in the hero being trapped in a giant chocolate cake that is easy (and delicious) to escape from.
1513. Same goes for grammar.
1514. If the hero tries to trick me into revealing my evil plans, I will either not fall for it or pretend to do so, but lie.
1515. If I am a Power Rangers villain, and the Monster of the Week is winning against the heroes, I will not gigantify them unless the heroes are able to turn the table, since the Rangers will never resort to just calling the Zords in and crushing the MOTW by stepping on it.
1516. The same also applies if I am a Super Sentai villain.
1517. If I am a Kamen Rider villain, on the other hand, if I hear reports of a Rider defeating a few of my underlings, I will hunt them down and deal with them myself as soon as possible. It's better to fight them while I still have an advantage of absolute firepower than wait for them to get their Super Mode.
1518. If I am a vampire overlord, who needs to feed upon blood, I shall include, as part of their taxes, a requirement for my subjects to give a small amount of blood, roughly a cup's worth, every few months. Of course, different people will pay at different times, with roughly 25 groups at the very least, so the amount of blood can sustain me without the need to seek out a victim. On the plus side, if there's an accident, there's plenty of blood for accident victims.
1519. If I am out and about in my civilian identity, spending time with my children, when someone abducts them, who knows nothing about me, I shall allow the Hero to rescue my children, publicly thank the Hero, and then I shall put on my costume, and pay the kidnapper a visit. If the Hero finds me beating the pulp out of them, I'll simply tell the Hero that I have standards that don't involve endangering children.
1520. Allow my henchmen to spend time with their families, and to carry images of their loved ones. This way, if the Hero does manage locate them, they will realize that the minion is someone who is a parent, a lover, a dutiful adult child, or someone with family. The Hero might think twice about harming them.
1521. If it's up to me to take over a planet so that the mooks and my other associates have a place to live, and I have sufficient technology to do so, I will rather terraform a planet which has no life on its surface. Every pesky planet has its own superhero, and I don't want them to sabotage anything.
1522. Just because my race is capable of eating humans, or other sentient beings, does not mean that they should be placed on the top of the menu - at least in public. In fact, it might be better to, publicly, eat the very animals that the natives themselves either raise, or hunt, for meat. While the locals might be surprised when they see our kind eating a hundred-plus pound pig intact, bones and all, they aren't as likely to pull out a weapon, like they would if we tried that on a human.
1523. If my kind can eat humans, and have done so on the sly, but eat pig, sheep, goats, large fish, and large sections of cattle in public, and some nosy person, like a journalist or a scientist, or someone with a bunch of letters after their name, asks if it is possible if we could eat humans, we will simply ask if they have a fresh cadaver that has been donated to science, so that we can test the idea upon.
1524. If my kind can eat humans, and it has been, using the above method of using a donated body, been publicly proven that we can eat humans, we shall simply request that being placed on the menu be done as a form of execution for criminals condemned to die, or as a form of assisted suicide for those whom medical treatment has done no good.
1525. If my kind can eat humans, and has used various means to get them onto our plate - abduction, condemned criminals, terminal illness, subliminal messages - certain restrictions upon the taking of humans as meat shall be in place. This is because humans take sixteen years to attain sexual maturity, weighing around a hundred fifty pound, or seventy-five kilos at this age. Cattle, on the other hand, attain sexual maturity in two years, and weigh one thousand five hundred pounds, or about seven hundred fifty kilos, at this age. Thus, Humans will be more of a delicacy, while Cattle, and other similar animals, will be the mainstay.
1526. Or, as an addendum for the above point, if my kind needs humans to survive and we can't get as much energy from eating 'vegetarian' meal, I will invest in mass cloning from 'desirable' templates from various types. They could be preferably high-yielding, quickly maturing and loyal to their masters. People won't give jack about the clones while we make them subservient with Bread and Circuses.
1527. If my marriage is purely political, but me and my spouse are friendly enough to see about having children with the other yet not actually in love with each other, I shall see to it that we each have an alternative lover, especially if one or both of us are gay or bi.
1528. I will secretly make the Evil Overlord List available for my Council as well as my associates, as a token of my gratitude and lessening of my interference. The catch in this plan will be that the really essential points in the List will be swapped for exactly the reverse, and each list will be coded with locations of the recipients as well as read history in the copying process. So that if any of them will be attempted against me, I could run a very quick search about the possible traitors in my group and plan accordingly.
1529. Make sure that my men know basic first aid in the event of an injury, at least for minor ones, like cuts and bruises, and perhaps broken bones. They don't need to know how to do brain surgery, but they can at least keep each other alive long enough for someone more skilled to arrive on the scene.
1530. If my trusted right-hand person tells me that the new guy, who has been nothing but trouble, is a rat, who secretly works for the authorities, it might be a good idea to listen to him.
1531. If things are going bad, and have done so for a while, and it looks like I might lose, give my men the chance to leave, even offering them a decent amount of money/goods that can be traded, especially if they have families. At least they won't hate me bad enough to stab me in the back if things go really bad.
1532. If someone parted ways with me on good terms during a bad time, like when it looked like I was going to lose, but later rejoin after I've won, they will have a slightly symbolic punishment, in the form of a reduced rank and lesser pay from their previous service. But, if they prove themselves loyal for at least six months, they get their old rank back, along with back-pay.
1533. If the hero is at his true love's gravestone, whether or not I was responsible for that situation, I will avoid sending any remote-controllable transportation to take him away and let him mourn in peace. He will not take kindly to having his peace disrupted simply because I've wanted revenge on him for so long.
1534. If I have the hero in any air vehicle, the pilot's headphones will be standard, without electrodes or anything else that can cause electrocution. In case the hero manages to get into the cockpit, the pilot can fight him off and make sure he dies with him.
1535. However, I will remove all lights, and give them good paints of well tested digital camouflage. As well, this shall only be for shock troops only, as the special forces shall need to be more discreet.
1536. If the hero is recovering in the hospital, I will not bomb the place or send in a squadron of mooks to take him out. I will send in one or two undercover assassins disguised as medical personnel, with relevant training so they don't give themselves away asking what "SOB" (short of breath) means. An air bubble via empty syringe can be quite lethal, and some poisons are quite fast-acting.
1537. Multiple types of body armor shall be issued based on need and customizable to an extent. Troops will be required to wear the lightest set at all times, or at least carry a light rifle resistant insert in the front of their uniform, in the event of the other armor being inaccessible. This will also discourage retreating.
1538. Just because a weapon, or another item or piece of equipment is technically obsolete, this doesn't render them completely useless. For instance, a crossbow is not much use on the battlefield when compared to assault rifles, but it is a quiet weapon with projectiles that are fairly easy to reuse.
1539. Likewise, just because someone has come up with a more powerful version of something that's standard issue, this doesn't mean that all of my forces should switch over to it - it probably has kinks that need worked out long before we do that.
1540. If a there's a terrific piece of property that I want, but the rightful owner has refused to sell, I shall simply increase the offer. If the owner holds out at ten times the value of the property, I shall merely shake their hand, and wish them the best of luck with the property. I will then see about buying another piece of property that is just as good.
1541. If I decided to try to intimidate the rightful landowner, only for a mysterious stranger to show up, and best those I'd sent out to intimidate the landowner, I shall have this stranger investigated.
1542. If someone is holding me at gunpoint, I won't make any threats towards their family, implied or otherwise - they just might blow my head off anyways.
1543. While Rule 56 shall be respected, I should not be accepting those minions past Basic Training if they cannot hit a man-sized target at 10 meters, unless they have other talents that would benefit my Legions of Terror in a non-combatant capacity. If so, they shall be moved to that capacity rather than killed. This is in keeping with my A Father to His Men persona, if such is deemed necessary. However, I shall still encourage them to rectify the reason their aim sucked.
1544. Those in my Legions of Terror who display tactical initiative and flair in achieving difficult objectives, such as neutralizing the Hero or his merry band of miscreants, shall be decorated and promoted within reason.
1545. Those in command positions within my Legions of Terror will be expected to understand the latest tactics appropriate for the settings. Things such as the phalanx, combined-arms assault, flanking marches, or other related maneuvers will be expected to be understood. If they are not, my commanders will be fired. From the nearest piece of artillery.
1546. While losses are acceptable in any campaign of conquest, the idea that We Have Reserves is not an acceptable excuse for Pyrrhic Victories. As my lines of communication will likely require manning garrisons across enemy territory and morale will likely be tested within my Legions of Terror, it's expected that my commanders will understand basic tactics. Attacking an enemy's logistics works just as well as a full frontal assault and with less casualties. Equipment can be replaced, but a hardened core of veterans takes much longer. As a corollary, I will maintain a healthy perspective of my strategic position at all times while in the field.
1547. If feasible, I will not loot and pillage cities who surrender to my Legions of Terror without struggle. Citizens in these cities will be offered the same rights and protections as those under my dominion. I shall not attempt to subvert their religious practices in favor of those of my Empire. Rather, they shall enjoy their faith along with those within my Empire. This isn't so much in keeping with good public relations, though that has its benefits. It simply saves resources in garrisoning and administration. And having to rebuild the economy of a strategically important city is dreadfully dull. As such, this would help to streamline integration of these newly conquered lands into my ever expanding empire.
1548. However, those that do not surrender will meet with a Kill Sat shot. Survivors will be allowed to flee in small numbers to spread the word to surrounding cities.
1549. I shall understand that a healthy economy at home is necessary for a war machine to function. As such, my empire/dominion will maintain policies promoting economic growth with reasonable taxation and tariffs. While I will maintain a healthy confidence in my own military and administrative capabilities, my underlings that are watching the home front will invariably be holding the Idiot Ball at some point. As such, the possibilities of a rebellion at home should be kept to a minimum. As an aside, if my underlings do not keep to the guidelines laid out before them, they will be dismissed. Off of a cliff.
1550. Pursuant to that, my home guard will be activated while my Legions of Terror are campaigning. Also, a portion of those Legions will be based strategically around my domain, both to quell uprisings or slow an enemy army while the rest of my Legions return to deal with this threat.
1551. I shall take a page from the Roman Empire's book and have my Legions of Terror trained in multiple aspects of engineering, such as construction and foraging. This not only benefits my logistics greatly, it will benefit those members of my Legions when they retire to civilian life inside my domain and attempting to find a normal job.
1552. Those whom retire with honor after a number of years from my Legions of Terror will be paid a healthy pension and retirement benefits, including health and mental care. They shall be given a plot of land or home to do with as they see fit. Not only does this generate interest in their families and general populace in joining my Legions of Terror, it maintains good PR at home.
1553. My infrastructure in my homelands shall be created to be as self-sustaining as possible. Where feasible, renewable resources of energy and materials, such as timber, will be used if such will be a benefit. Hospitals and care-centers will be properly staffed and funded. If the setting allows, I will also put forth a comprehensive recycling program to lessen the burden on finding new sources of raw materials. Civil administrators will be selected based upon loyalty and ability. Manufacturing and related industries will be de-centralized and with a high degree of technological sophistication. A portion of my R&D budget will be put into conservation techniques and ecological sciences. This will achieve multiple objectives. First, I will not be piss off whatever Nature Spirits that happen to live in my domain. Second, a populace that has its basic needs met will be less inclined to join the Rebellion. Third, this keeps in line with my machinations as a Villain with Good Publicity. Lastly, my newly conquered territories will see the benefits of subjugation.
1554. Though this has been stated, slaves will not be used in place of machines in dangerous occupation.
1555. I shall remember that economic and diplomatic methods of annexation can be just as effective as a well oiled war machine at a fraction of the cost. As such, attempts at coercion that lead to a peaceful and willful annexation of a territory shall be exercised where possible. If this fails and the territory is necessary to further my goals and plans at that time, the subjects of that territory shall learn how my Legions got their name.
1556. I will listen to my Intelligence Services when they sound a warning of a danger on or within my borders, regardless of how small. I shall evaluate their evidence and take all due considerations into account before taking action. After all, it's what they are paid for. That said, if they happen to identify a newborn who it is prophesied to become the hero, due action shall be taken pursuant to other rules within this list.
1557. Though I am not answerable to the courts in my own domain, this does not mean I will not be subject to an International Tribunal should I be conquered or the Rebellion somehow succeeds. As such, plausible deniability and OpsSec will be maintained to any extent possible.
1558. While World Conquest shall always be the overriding goal, I shall portray myself to not be the greatest threat to the world. Pursuant to other rules, if I share borders with a power whose ruler aims to prove they are Eviler than Thou, than I shall help the Hero and his band of miscreants against this power. Not only does play my enemies against one another, I will be in a position to pick up the pieces. As a corollary, this does not preclude from aiding the other side if there is benefit, nor does it preclude me from assisting another new Evil Overlord secure his dominion. If my propaganda...information services are doing their job, they will be painted as the great Eldritch Abomination before long anyway. Wash, rinse, repeat.
1559. If the Rule of Two is in effect, and I know full well that my apprentice, or dragon, will take my place, one way or another, I shall set up a situation, wherein I fake my death, and watch from the safety of a secret holiday resort as they set about trying to lead things. If they do a competent job, and actually hold their own against others, and make sure that the empire doesn't burn to the ground, I'll retire. If they mess things up royally, then I will come back, kick their ass, kick the asses of the other would-be renegades, and basically inform everyone that I'm back!
1560. If my plan involves using an artifact belonging to an outlaw, and I've tracked them to their hometown, where they are on good terms with the local law, as in they don't cause trouble there, and they happen to have family there, I'll make things as peaceable as possible, as I don't need them to form an Enemy Mine with the law, nor do I need them to go Papa Wolf if their family is threatened.
1561. If I plan to use a Horror Hunger monster to kill a Hero, I'll make sure that I have the means to satisfy its hunger when it finishes the job. And even in that case I'll order to prepare a remote-controlled bomb (or something like this) in order to quickly kill the monster should it get too dangerous to control.
1562. My underlings will be informed that the more important part about escaping after getting away from the authorities or the Hero is this - getting away! If they are able to sneak away from the law, good. If they must fight the law, do so. If they must run from a fight, do it! If they must leave a favorite weapon in the hands of someone that stole the weapon from them first, leave it and steal it later! If they have a grudge against some fella that stole from them, Forget It! Escaping is their First and Only Priority!
1563. If some idiot decides that, instead of escaping, to steal back a favorite weapon, and kills half the town in the process to do so, I will personally, in the middle of the night, drop them in front of the law building, Sheriff's Office, City Guard Station, or whatever the local law enforcement is, knock on the door, and get out before the door opens. Whether said idiot will be a corpse or bound and gagged will depend upon if I feel like doing the law a favor in killing the bastard, or if I should let them have the satisfaction of doing the job themselves.
1564. The only exception to doing anything other than escaping in the above situation is if the item or person in question is vital to my plan's success, and I need them. That being said, I will chew out the minion if they decide to kill half the town just to get the needed item or person for my plan.
1565. Just because I Own This Town, this doesn't mean that I should be a jerk towards those who don't follow me, even if I have the police in my pocket, and have a large gang. After all, they might band together to fight me, or hire some poor wandering warrior for food, and a place to stay, and then they proceed to kick my ass.
1566. If I find out that my son is destined to become a Hero, lead the Rebellion against me, defeat me, and then become ruler afterwards, I shall, at the very least, make sure that he will be a capable leader for after the rebellion, and that the kingdom, or whatever it's reformed into, doesn't collapse within a week after he takes over.
1567. If for any reason there exists a powerful entity or nation that has remained neutral in my overall conflict with the Rebellion, Hero, or whoever else I am currently at war with, I will be sure to take some kind of binding oath to prevent me from doing anything to antagonize them. There is simply no pragmatic reason for doing so, and it will only aid the hero’s case for them to ally against me.
1568. Moreover, my minions will be instructed to do nothing to antagonize said neutral entity or nation, on pain of death, for the same reasons as above.
1569. If I decide to retire, I shall make sure to change my identity, move far away, and become nothing more than a nameless storekeeper. I shall also never speak about my past, beyond hinting that it is too painful for me to talk about.
1570. If I have retired, and moved to a place where no one knows me, I shall befriend the local law enforcement officers, because it is useful to have a friend on the force. If need be, I might hint to them that I once did some work for one warlord or another, but that I was trying to put it behind me, as if ashamed of what I did.
1571. If I have retired, and moved away, and managed to put my past behind me, only for the offspring of one of my past victims to show up and say "You Killed My Father", I'll carefully explain to them that it is unlikely for me to have been the person that did the deed. After all, would the Supreme Warlord be the sort of person who'd want to become a humble storekeeper?
1572. If I have retired, and managed to be harassed by the offspring of one of my past victims, I'll simply ask my local police friends for help. I'll only handle the matter personally if I seriously have no choice.
1573. The only time I will ever state that We Have Reserves is if there are actually more than enough reserves to offset any type or significance of loss in the long run.
1574. Take a bath, or a shower, or just plainly get cleaned up, if possible. It's one thing to have a rugged beard, and long hair, but when you're covered in filth and mud and blood, it's hard to conduct a meeting with the others keeping their distance from the stench.
1575. If somehow, Sapient Eat Sapient applies to the world, make sure that there is certain protection for those classified as Prey, so that Predators don't accidentally wipe them out. Setting up Age Restriction to protect Underage Prey, setting a Number Limit, make sure that prey in important positions are safe, and that single parents who don't have a back-up guardian for the children are safe. Also, make sure that Predators pay some sort of compensation, such as helping to pay for any debts the Prey owed in life, which would be useful if the Prey owed a massive hospital bill.
1576. I will always look servants in the eye. Treating them with some degree of well-earned respect rather than things for me to look down on and take advantage of is a great means of boosting morale and loyalty. And if the hero is dumb enough to pull the stunt of disguising themselves as a servant, it’ll make the job of capturing and/or executing them that much easier.
1577. Have multiple different outfits, and even different versions of each outfit. This way I can blend in with any crowd, from a group of wealthy billionaires on down to common day laborers.
1578. When hunting, try to use every part of the animal, from snout to tail, or whatever body parts they have.
1579. If I'm the leader of an outlaw gang on the run, where everyone has to help out, and my Dragon shows up, having not been in camp for a few days, loaded with provisions, valuables that can be sold, and a lot of cash, I will not complain about him being a bit delinquent in helping out around the camp.
1580. On the other hand, if my Dragon shows up with a wardrobe's worth of expensive clothes, but nothing for the pot, not even a scrawny rabbit, I will chew him out for this. That being said, if it turns out that him having bought an expensive suit of clothes got him a valuable tip that leads to us getting a large amount of money, I will apologize for my harshness.
1581. If my Dragon comes back with a ridiculous outfit, due to him getting a bunch of rare collectibles for some merchants who then rewarded him with the outfit, along with a fat wad of cash that's big enough to get us out of the county, I will tell him that he did a good job, and while I won't laugh, I might suggest that he change into something less conspicuous.
1582. If my Dragon consistently points out the number of fallacies in my plans and how quickly things keep turning for the worst, whether it’s because of the fruitlessness of my plans or the constant intervention of forces that I cannot outright engage in an equal fight, and yet still remains loyal to me despite their doubts, I will treat it as a much needed Reality Check and correct my mistakes. After all, just like my trusted lieutenant, they are my trusted Dragon (if they’re not one and the same).
1583. If some fool decides to abduct the child of one of my underlings, I'll summon everyone to go and get them back! Odds are, most fools will give us the child back without too much fuss. If they refuse, they'll find a lot of weapons being pointed at them. If they still refuse - too bad, for them!
1584. If my Dragon, or another faithful member of my group, falls ill with a serious sickness, that will eventually lead to their death, I will offer them a large payment, if they wish to leave in order to live out their days peacefully. If they chose to stay, then I'll do all I can to help them out. When their dying day comes, I'll do everything I can to be there for them, and to see to it that they die peacefully, even if that means having to hold back a large army by myself!
1585. If worse comes to worse, with the enemy at the gates, and I'm dying from injury or sickness, I'll tell those who have faithfully served me that they can sneak out the secret exit that will lead them to safety away from my base. By the time my enemies get to me, they'll only find me, all set to flip the switch, or pull a lever, or some such thing, that causes the destruction of the entire place.
1586. It is one thing to tease that lazy old man with the phony disability, or rib on someone whose plans tend to backfire on them, but that guy that goes around antagonizing others for no good reason is going to get the boot, if lucky, or get shot, if unlucky.
1587. Always have multiple weapons. After all, I have multiple enemies.
1588. Just because I'm the Big Bad, that doesn't mean that I can't be the Big Good, well, when compared to everyone else out there. In fact, I could even be a Nominal Hero.
1589. Alternatively, if I'm the Big Good, when compared to everyone else out there, I shall see about employing the hero myself. If he asks if I'm evil, I'll tell him straight out that indeed I am, but that makes me a much better choice than those who believe themselves to be good when in truth they are just as evil as I am, if not even worse.
1590. If it turns out that the so-called hero has fallen into Black-and-White Insanity, and is going after little old ladies for jaywalking, or for thanking me after I get them that last jar of relish that was up on the very top store at the supermarket, give them the beating that they need. If this snaps them out of their insanity, good. Otherwise, make sure that they can't endanger anyone else
1591. If my Dragon, who has just recently been doing a number of jobs for me, like killing my enemies, bringing in loads of provisions, lots of money and valuables that could be sold for money, items that help spruce the place up, as well as locating a small item that I asked him to get, like a nice pipe to replace the one that I lost, I won't complain too much if he decides to have some fun, like buying some new guns, customizations for said guns, loads of new clothes, gambling, spending time with women of ill-repute, or taking a nice hot bath, providing that he uses his own money for such fun things, and remembers to bring me, or the camp, some useful items, like more provisions, valuables, and money. Oh, and perhaps a nice hat for me.
1592. The important thing about having hostages is this - they keep the other side from shooting me. Therefore, it's in my best interest to keep said hostages relatively safe from harm, and order out for pizza if need be to feed them, although odds are that the delivery person will probably be one of the law enforcement guys, so make sure to bring out at least one hostage while one of my guys picks up the food from the officer.
1593. If I am the faithful Dragon, and have been so for years, but when things have gone from bad to worse, and worse yet still, it might be a good idea to take over, especially if the leader has started to lose it. Of course, out of respect, I'll try to do it peacefully, with a loophole that would let the old leader take power back if I messed up royally, with the explanation that he needs some time without the stress of leadership affecting him. However, if he refuses to relinquish leadership, and has clearly lost it - well, I'm sorry, old friend - Boom, Headshot!. As for that Ax-Crazy psychopath that manipulated him into making things worse - I'll fill that bastard with enough lead to sink a boat.
1594. See that random guy clearly in need of help - there's nothing wrong with helping them, so long as it doesn't lead to me getting arrested by the authorities of course. After all, they might return the favor, and get me something nice, or give me something nice, or they might save my life, somehow.
1595. If I manage to give myself superpowers, and I am now strong enough to rival the strongest superhero out there, if I go to their hometown to fight them, only to find just a bunch of B-Listers instead, because the big guy is out saving the day elsewhere but these guys were sent to be part of a parade that the big guy was supposed to be in, I shall ask them to tell him to call me to schedule a fight later, as fighting the lower ranked heroes would be a waste of my time. Reason is this - they would have more to gain by merely fighting me, and proving themselves to be heroes to those initially disappointed in seeing them instead of their favorite big guy, than I would in fighting and beating them.
1596. If I find myself on the run, with only one loyal minion, and I am dying of sickness or injury, with it quite clear that I'm not going to make it, if I get it into my head to give my minion my possessions, make sure to give him some valuables that he can easily sell and what's left of my money, so that he can be able to get what he needs in order to survive.
1597. I shall not allow senseless bloodshed to occur. If someone is to be killed, there'd better be a very good reason. If I catch someone, even if they are one of my own, killing just to kill, they will find themselves facing an execution squad, and I'll see about having their victims, or the family/friends of the victims, have the first opportunity about being on the squad.
1598. If I see some guy, who has killed dozens, if not hundreds, of members of my group, sitting at a campfire, doing nothing to me at the moment, it might be a good idea to leave them be.
1599. When committing a crime in a town I do not control, when my group is coming in, in ones and twos, make sure that we aren't all dressed identical. Nothing says "Bad Guys are Here!" like a number of men dressed all in black showing up in the same place at the same time.
1600. Likewise, when robbing a bank, make sure that the lookout watches how the people react, especially if they all quietly clear the street, and the lookout gets the funny feeling that those windows in the hotel across from him are now filled with folks waiting their turn at the Shooting Gallery, and he's about to become one of the targets. In such cases, he is to let me know, and once we have the money, we'll slip out the back. That being said, make sure that the back door is safe as well. Otherwise, it might be a better idea to just drop the guns and surrender.