I Need To Go Iron My Dog / Fan Works

By Original Franchise

Bleach

• In Things Shinigami are not allowed to do, one of the "rules" is 'The following are awful and pathetic excuses for leaving a Captains' Meeting: "I have to floss my otter. I have to wash my hair. My sugar daddy called me. My grandmother died. I'm having relationship troubles with my hamster. My dog is having kittens. My fish is drowning."
• In A Protector's Pride, the main characters run out of class because of hollow attacks going on outside. They yell various excuses as they leave.
  Teacher: Where do you think you're going?
  Ichigo: Family business.
  Inoue: I'll go with him to make sure he's okay!
  Ishida: I'll go make sure he doesn't hurt anyone.
  Chad: Do you even want to know?
  Teacher: [resigned] No, no I don't. Just go.

My Little Pony: Friendship Is Magic

• In ARTICLE 2 Celestia excuses herself saying she left her sewing machine on fire.
• Used in Once Bitten, Twice Shy, which ships Socially Awkward Heroes Twilight and Fluttershy. After a staggeringly bungled "first date", both participants came up with absurd excuses:
  Twilight: [after failure level has reached critical] Time flies when you're having fun! Ahahaha...ha...
  Fluttershy: It does. Wouldn't you know it? I have to go feed my...bed!
  Twilight: I have to go wash my books!
  Fluttershy: So many important things!
  [both disappear at maximum speed, blushing furiously and wishing the ground would open and swallow them]
• Turnabout Storm:
  • Rainbow Dash pulls this off in the detention center after Phoenix asks her to tell him what she's hiding from him.
    Rainbow Dash: Um...well...uh-oh, looks like visiting hours are over! Catch ya' later Nix!
    Phoenix Wright: Hey! No they aren't! There are still five minutes left!...She's gone...
  • Spike after Twilight catches him calling her a total nerd.
    Spike: Oh!? You're back Twilight! I-um...uh...I was just on my way to...um...organize those awesome books my intelligent and smart friend reads! Uh...later!
• The First Of Many: Freaking out about her first date, Twilight Sparkle tries to weasel her way out of it by excuses such as "having died by Alicornitis."
• Early on in Shining Armor's side story of the Pony POV Series, he's having a conversation with Prince Blueblood, who makes the mistake of insulting Twilight right in front of him. Realizing his mistake, Blueblood quickly takes back what he said before stating that he "left the toaster on in [his] haste to leave the shower" and runs off.
• The Reading Rainbowverse is a collection of blogs about ponies reading webcomics. The askers frequently give them awkward questions...to which they respond by saying "Let's read the comic, hahahaha!" It's practically a Running Gag.
• In chapter 6 of The Great Alicorn Hunt, Rarity encounters Prince Blueblood. She reminds him that Applejack is nearby.
  "Oh my is that Duke Wellington?" Blueblood exclaimed in a terrified falsetto. "Oh do excuse me everyone I fear I have some important business involving boots to discuss if you will please excuse me..." He didn't so much hurry away as frantically scuttle, his hooves skidding on the tile floor in his haste to be quit of this particular fresh slice of hell.

Naruto

• Nothing but Trouble has a genin state this verbatim when she leaves to spy on Naruto, Anko, and Kurenai after hearing they're going to have a threesome.
• True Potential:
  • After a training session with Anko is over, Hinata nervously asks Naruto "W-Would y-you like to go s-somewhere together to eat o-or something?" He misunderstands what she's saying and thinks she wants the two of them plus Shikamaru to spend time together, much to her disappointment. Noticing her reaction, Shikamaru says he can't come because he has clan stuff to do. This is then subverted as it's later revealed in that same chapter that he really has clan stuff to do and thus isn't making up an excuse to not come with them.
  • During the Kiri Civil War arc, at some café, Anko notices Naruto blushing at Hinata and smirks at that sight. She then comes up with the idea of having some business to do and needing Shikamaru and Dosu to come help her with that just so they can Leave the Two Lovebirds Alone.
  • Upon seeing how well Fū and Shino are clicking, Ino leaves and drags Choji with her, claiming that she and her teammate have to help her clan with something without further elaborating about it.

Transformers

• More Fragging Paperwork: Optimus Prime, desperate to not fill out paperwork, decides to delegate it to Ultra Magnus by claiming "My attention is, uh, urgently required elsewhere."

Other Works

• Occurs in 50 Weird Things Kirby Has Done with [Bandana Dee having two consecutive days off from work as a mook and trying to avoid spending them at a sleepover with Kirby.
  Bandana Dee: I—uh—have an appointment. With—the...grass!
  Kirby: Grass? Like, grass grass? Plant grass? Green grass? Growing grass?
  Bandana Dee: Yeah. Um. Well. Fertilizing, you see. With...cow shit?
  Kirby: Oh. Yeah. Yeah! But...you're having a day off? So there wouldn't be any work?
  Bandana Dee: Voluntary...work? They—like—um. We're short on botanists. Kind of.
  Kirby: So you're a stand-in botanist! Okay. Got it!
• In the Hetalia fanfic Arthur Kirkland's Diary, England attempts to escape from America by way of: "I forgot to water my oven this morning."
• The Bolt Chronicles:
  • In "The Funkmeister," Mittens claims to have imaginary medical conditions that prevent her from dancing with Rhino. It's just a lame excuse.
  • Implied in "The Concerto" when Penny's mom dashes out the door just prior to Penny's music-making session. She apparently claimed that she remembered having to do a sudden errand at the mall before beating a hasty retreat.
  • Mittens makes up a ridiculously unbelievable excuse to leave the apartment where she encounters her now morbidly obese former one-night stand in "The Party." She claims she has to leave to wash out her natural white fur booties.
    Mittens: Oh, willya look at the time? I really gotta, uhhh, go wash out my socks. These white fur booties of mine aren't natural, y'know. Gotta clean the schmutz offa them before they get so dirty they match the rest of me.
• In Incarnation of Legends, Bell begs Kojiro for help while being dragged off by Brunhilde. But Kojiro merely turns around and says that he has to go save France, which even Bell knows is an obvious lie as there's no country in the world with a name as fake sounding as "France".
• From Calvin & Hobbes: The Series:
  Rupert: You know, on second thought...we, um, left the, er, iron on. We've gotta go!
• Cat Tales: At one point, Selina Kyle (Catwoman) recalls some of the various excuses her fellow Rogues have to leave town during January, which tend to qualify.
  Ivy:Gotham is so cold in January, I think I'll just pop down to South America and see how many species of orchids grow in the rainforest.
  Killer Croc: Croc visit swamp now. Good time, no tourists.
  Mad Hatter: Calloo callay, Hat Expo in Bombay.
  Joker: I left something on the stove at the HA-HAcienda in Mexico, HAHAHAHAHAAA.
• In the Persona 4 fanfic Do Bonds Truly Last Forever?, the reunion between Yu and his old friends initially goes well, until Yosuke loses his temper and calls Yu out for not visiting in 10 years and storms out. Immediately afterward, Yukiko, Chie, Kanji, Teddie and Naoto all make up various excuses to leave.
• Subverted in Quite Peculiar. Deryn's housekeeper leaves her alone with Alek on the pretense of having a roast in the oven. Deryn is surprised later to see that she really did.
• In The Dogfather, Ron and Hermione leave Harry and Sirius alone in their compartment on the Hogwarts Express so they can talk through a misunderstanding. The excuse Hermione uses is that they need to go and stock up from the sweets trolley, even though Ron has just said he's not hungry and Hermione disapproves of everything on the trolley because it's bad for your teeth.
• In the creatively titled NCIS fanfic Drabbles, the chapter "Sickly" is filled with these as characters try to avoid paperwork.
  McGee: I, uh, need to be...somewhere else. Labby's ab. I mean, Abby's lab. I need to be — helping Abby. In her lab. She needs my help with...converting the gigabytes into RAM and disguising them in a Boolean operator to slip past the firewall.
  Ziva: I, ah...also need to be somewhere else. The director has personally requested that I...go somewhere else. Not here. Do you hear McGee calling for help? I hear him calling for help. I'll go help him. Somewhere else.
  Tony: Eh, boss, I'm not feeling so good. I must becoming down with a serious case of...papertosis.
• Dragon Ball Z Abridged:
  • Vegeta in gives us an example of not even having an excuse, as he's that desperate to get away from Freeza and off of Namek.
    Vegeta: Yeah, that's just great. If you'll excuse me though, I've gotta...Bye.
  • When Frieza nearly calls Zarbon gay after learning he has a girlfriend, he takes the first opportunity to distract Zarbon so he won't need to explain.
    Frieza: [kills a random minion] Oh no, that minion died. Could you go fix that? We'll continue this conversation never.
• In Dream a Dream Seamus and Dean need a reason to escape from a clingy Ginny.
  Seamus: We're being initiated into a cult. Very prestigious. Invite only. You understand, right?
• In Fist of the Moon after hearing that the training trip will keep them so busy that Ami will likely not even have time to study, Usagi babbles: "Um, I just remembered an important tea ceremony I have to attend."
• In Hogwarts Shuffle Lavender Brown becomes a bit nervous after she implies she has a kink of some sort and Ron playfully suggests that she share it with him.
  Lavender: I um...need to be going...somewhere. Bye Harry!
• In I'll Be Home For Christmas Hermione forces Ron into the room so they and Harry can have a discussion about Ron's objections to Harry's homosexuality and all the other Weasleys clear out in a hurry.
  Ginny: You know, I just remembered, I have that...that...thing that I need to take care of. C'mon George, you can help me.
• In I'm a Marvel... And I'm a DC, as Cyclops and Nite Owl see the next event (The Thing vs. Superman...Monster vs. Alien), Cyclops leaves with a bizarre excuse (that's also an in-joke): "Excuse me, I think I heard my girlfriend dying."
• In Star Wars fanfic It's OK Master, the Force Hates Me Too, Padawan Obi-Wan Kenobi responds to Master Yoda's requests for guests to come over for his "famous stew" is "I'd love to, but I have to…go…study…something. Bye!" Which His Master, Qui-Gon follows up by saying ""I have to help him. Being his Master and all that. Bye!"
• In Jaune Arc, Lord of Hunger, after Jaune accidentally talks back to Professor Goodwitch in a Did I Just Say That Out Loud? moment, he tries to excuse himself from the conversation by claiming that he hears his friend Nora getting caught in a vending machine.
• In Kyon: Big Damn Hero, after Yuki teleports Kyon into her apartment with the intention of letting Haruhi having a make-out session with him and record her doing that:
  Kanae: We have to take care of that...thing in the kitchen, right Asahina-san?
• In The Vampire Diaries story Let It Bleed, the main character Kady sees John and says that she needs to go buy tickets a to a Huey Lewis concert.
• In A Marauder's Plan Harry finds Hermione, Neville, Dean and Seamus repacking his trunk and when he asks what's going on the latter two become a bit uncomfortable.
  Dean: We should...we have that...
  Seamus: Yes, yes. That thing.
• In The Magic of Torchwood, Jack Harkness and Harry get out of taking photographs of the Triwizard Champions when Jack sarcastically claims to be a vampire and Harry protests that he's allergic to the smoke used in flash photography (Krum refuses to be photographed without all four champions and Fleur just leaves); ironically, Skeeter prints these claims as true rather than realise Jack and Harry were just joking.
• In Marriage of Heaven and Hell, after his mother reveals that she's secretly Gabriel and that the universe has been reset by the Goddess of Death, Makoto claims he's Late for School on a weekend.
• In My Huntsman Academia, Yatsuhashi tries to leave the room when Coco and Fox get into an argument by saying he has a date with "Pearl Socrates-Nostradamus". Both of his teammates reel him back in with Coco's scarf.
• There's a scene in the fan-made Chip 'n Dale: Rescue Rangers Graphic Novel Of Mice and Mayhem in which Gadget utters that she thinks she "left the thingy on the whatzit".
• In Retold The Second Year Harry encounters Gilderoy Lockhart outside Flourish and Blotts.
  Harry: Yeah. Uh well its be really great meeting you but I have to go back home and deal with some dragons that are trying to crawl up a tree and eat a virgin. So you know how things go.
• In the Saki doujinshi Saki: Buchou Monogatari, which takes place in an AU in which Hisa went to Kazekoshi, Hisa, being invited to go out to karaoke with some of her classmates, also invites Mihoko, who refuses because it's against school rules. After Mihoko gives her answers two of Hisa's classmates tell her that they knew Mihoko would refuse, and that it was better not to have invited her at all, because she is "super serious" and "annoying." Hisa then promptly says that she wants to go home and complete her jigsaw puzzle. She ends up catching up to Mihoko and walking her home, comforting her.
• Sword Art Online Abridged episode 8 has a version of this when BallsDeep69 and Asuna start to bring up Kirito's sex life or lack thereof, so when the Aincrad Liberation Front shows up...
  Kirito: Hey look! Literally anything else! Let's pay attention to it!
• In Twilight Princess: The Abridged Series, Shad, after finding the cannon, says that he loves the book so much.
  Shad: Excuse me, Link. I'm going to go somewhere and...not have sex with this book.
• Total Drama Legacy: When Emilia goes back to her cabin to get an electrical wire in "A Shocking Twist", she tells Chris she needs to go back to her cabin to "take her pills".
• In Wear Me Like a Locket Around Your Throat Harry narrowly avoids being caught snooping in Dumbledore's office.
  Harry: I'm sorry, sir, but I've got to, er, go to the library. Now. I said I'd meet someone. About something.
• Wedding Peach Abridged: "Hmmm...got to think of a lie."
• In Wednesday and the Doctor, the Doctor pretends he is inspecting the trees to make sure they are the right height. Wednesday does not buy it.
• In Play to Your Strengths Harry shows up at the Yule Ball by himself.
  McGonagall: Where is your date, Mr. Potter?
  Harry: I don't have one. It turns out that all the girls were busy this night and couldn't break their engagements. Something about getting their hair done, having manicures and root canals.
• Maelstrom:
  Draco: Oh look at the time. It's a quarter past that hair, I should go and wax my chest hair or something...
• In chapter four of the Downton Abbey fanfic, The Devil's Child, Carson tries to apologize to Thomas in the wake of the latter's suicide attempt. Too overwrought too deal with that sort of thing, Thomas escapes Carson's office by claiming he has to go down to the village to post a letter, though by his own internal admission he has no letter, nor anyone to write to.

---