If only you knew what it took to get here.
A My Little Pony: Friendship Is Magic fanfic by NotARealPonydotcom, about how Princess Cadance and Shining Armor first date failed in all the right ways.
Tonight is the Midsummer Festival, and love is in the air. Unfortunately, Princess Twilight Sparkle is indoors and hysteria is the only emotion present as she's panicking over the prospect that her first date ever will end in disaster. With Ocean Floor, the bold Royal Guard who asked her out, about to arrive to meet his date, Twilight's Cool Big B.B.B.F.F. Shining Armor launches a daring rescue of his sister's night.
That is to say, he tries to calm her down by telling him how his first date with his future wife Princess Cadance went. And as Twilight learns, no first date could possibly go worse than Shining and Cadance's. But if everything went so wrong, how do everything end up so right?
The story is complete, and all three chapters can be found though this link
.
Tropes used by this story include:
- Almost Kiss: After a rough night where everything went wrong, Cadance and Shining Armor finally themselves in a serene moment, watching lit paper lanterns pressed against one another. As they make eye contact and start to lean forward, their canoe tips over, though the two get the chance to do so regularly later.
- Apologizes a Lot: Shining during his and Cadance's first date after something went somehow. Considering how many things went wrong, "sorry" was probably Shining's most-used word of the evening.
- Attractiveness Isolation: Princess Cadance initially, though her being his sister's foalsitter helped Shining work up the nerve to ask her out. Straighter with Twilight Sparkle, now an alicorn, who's now on her first date ever.
- Babies Ever After: The last line reveals that Cadance is carrying a little princess with her now.
- Bad Date:
- Twilight freaks out over the possibility this is going to happen.
- Cadance's and Shining's first date takes a turn for the worse every moment it can. However, they enjoyed being miserable together (and got together later), so it's more of a subversion.
- Beach Kiss: After Shining Armor and Cadance get out from their makeout session underneath their overturned canoe, they resume their makeout session on the beach.
- Big Brother Mentor: Shining to Twilight, as evident in his defusing Twilight's hysteria over her first date.
- Brick Joke: The condom Celstia gives Shining accidentally falls out of his jacket as his parents ask him how his date with Cadance went. Twilight Velvet flip her lid and grounds Shining Armor for the rest of the summer.
- The Cameo: Fancypants appears when Cadance and Shining accidentally tackle him and his own date.
- Chekhov's Gun: The Lunar Bloom, a flower that blooms one night a year, that Night Light gives his son. Night Light recalls how he gave it as a gift to his future wife on their first date, and Shining Armor eventually gives it to Cadance when it opens again, earning himself another embrace.
- Clothing Damage: Shining and Cadance's outfits, which are both borrowed from family members, take much abuse over their first date. This list expands to include wine spills, dirt stains, and even impromptu washes, before the two eventually discard them and continue naked, like regular ponies.
- Covert Pervert: After Cadance shows Princess Celestia how her date with Shining went by giving Shining a pre-emptive "Shut Up" Kiss, Celestia concludes her farewell to Shining by winking and sneaking a condom into his jacket.
- Facepalm: Twilight still misses the obvious sometimes.Shining Armor: ...maybe you'll have finally found your knight in shining armor.
Twilight tilted her head in confusion.
Twilight: What, another BBBFF?
Shining Armor facehoofed. - Framing Device: As Twilight is panicking over the possibility that her first date will go horribly, horribly wrong, Shining helps calm her down by telling her how his first date went horribly, horribly wrong and turned out okay in the end.
- Generation Xerox: Twilight's first date starts exactly like Shining's first date, right down to the panicking just before their date arrives and needing somepony to give them a pep-talk.
- I Just Want to Be Normal: Princess Cadance, at least for tonight, wants to go on a date like a normal teenager. She wears a dress that hides her wings to achieve this, at least until the Clothing Damage starts happening.
- I Need to Go Iron My Dog: True to the series, Twilight attempts ridiculous excuses to escape a date she's panicking about. The funniest example is when she demands her brother tell Ocean Floor that she can't go due to "dying of Alicornitis."
- If You Ever Do Anything to Hurt Her...: Shining to Ocean Floor when he picks up Twilight for their date:"Should she come home in tears, or even the least bit upset about her night out, well..." He paused, for dramatic effect. "...I would suggest not coming back to the Guard tomorrow. Or the next day. Or the day after that. If you catch my drift."
- "Just Joking" Justification: Rain, a high-class mare that berates Cadance for accidentally crashing into her, tries to excuse calling the young princess a commoner and child by saying she "didn't mean it that way!" Nopony is fooled.
- Mugging the Monster: Cadance accidentally runs into another couple but only ruins her own dress in the process. After calling Cadance a pathetic commoner child and insulting Shining Armor when he jumps to his date's defense, she backpedals immediately once she sees Cadance's wings and realizing who she just insulted.
- Not What It Looks Like: A condom falls out of Shining Armor's jacket after his first date. Yes, Celestia herself gave it to him, and no, he didn't engage in any sex beforehand.
- Oh, Crap!: When Rain realizes that the clumsy young unicorn she was insulting is actually Princess Cadance.
- So Proud of You: Played for Laughs After a condom falls out of Shining's jacket after his date, Velvet is furious, but Night Light acts stoic and sneaks his son a wink.
- Talking Is a Free Action: There's almost no way Shining Armor could have told his story in the ten minutes between the actual story's beginning and Ocean Floor's arrival.
- Tempting Fate: Lampshaded. When Shining Armor tells Twilight that nothing will go wrong with her date, she tells him to never say "nothing can go wrong", because then it will.
