Headscratchers / ¡Three Amigos!

• Santo Poco apparently had enough guns and ammunition to arm the whole town. How did such a poor town have all that, and if they did, how did they fall under the power of El Guapo? Other than because this was a comedy, I mean.
  • Forget the guns. Where did they get all the high quality black cloth, white lace, and black hats? Or even a sparkling white button-down shirt? Or enough extra water in a desert region to fill a very large pit trap?
    • A possible explanation for the cloth question. When the amigos ask what the town does best, the lady replies, "We can sew!" I've always felt that it was a bit of an Ass Pull to justify the final battle, since the townspeople's sewing skills have never been mentioned up to that point, but what if Santo Poco is actually a textile manufacturing town? Then they could realistically have stockpiles of cloth, lace etc. lying around.
  • They have no gun skills and they're not murderers. Notice they're not aiming. They're just trying to confuse the bandits.
  • Self-defense generally isn't the same as murder, but the question works in reverse, too: If they're too pacifistic even for self-defense, why'd they have so many revolvers lying around in the first place? Ordinary handguns aren't exactly ideal hunting pieces even if the wielder is skilled in their use.
  • Probably family heirlooms from a time when the ancestors were not as peaceful as the living descendants.
    • Before the climactic showdown, Carmen's father says "We want to defend ourselves, but how?" It's most likely that El Guapo and his gang had them cowed through fear, and they didn't fight back despite having weapons because they were afraid of what would happen if they failed. Since we only see Lucky, Dusty and Ned running around during the climax (why is noted under Fridge Brilliance), we don't know for certain who was shooting down most of the banditos but are left to assume that the villagers racked up a few kills on their own, just because the three Amigos themselves couldn't have been the only ones attacking from the sheer number of positions we see the banditos taking fire from.
  • In Seven Samurai (one of the trope-codifiers of the "heroes defend villagers" plot), the villagers have a large stash of samurai armor and weapons. They admit that they would quietly murder ronin in their sleep who visited the village because the villagers were afraid of being exploited. They couldn't stand up to a pack of bandits in open battle, but they could stab a sleeping man and throw his weapons in a basement. Might have happened in Santa Poco as well.
    • Since El Guapo and his crew are the village's only tormentors, you'd think he might have noticed over time if a few dozen of his individual goons rode into the village and then never came back. A single ronin wouldn't be missed; 30 or 40 banditos in a gang filled with them definitely would.
  • The German flew a plane loaded with four cases of rifles to El Guapo's fortress. The Amigos later flew the plane to Santo Poco. What if, after the rifles were removed, the plane's cargo hold had been filled with revolvers and ammunition from El Guapo that the German would sell as his payment for the rifles? After the villagers/Amigos start preparing for El Guapo's arrival, they find the revolvers and ammo in the plane...
• Who was the girl at the end who kissed Ned?
  • Little Paola Pantaloons?
  • She's credited as "Hot Senorita". She's basically there to give the geekiest guy the hottest girl. Note the looks Dusty and Lucky give Ned afterward.
    • Though the "geek" is actually boyishly cute with floppy, feathery, longish hair.
• Also; How does the German Aviator Guy "remember" Ned from childhood since they appear to be the same age? Ned actually looks a tad younger.
  • Perhaps Ned was doing his sharpshooter schtick as a child star and The German Aviator remembers that.
• I know Rule of Funny, but how come that tortoise can talk? A bit of a lesser one, but also how does it know Ned's name?
  • He's a famous actor. The tortoise probably saw his films, or at least read about him in the papers.
  • Nah, one of the horses who sang backup on "Blue Shadows" told him.
  • This is the same world where a singing bush and an invisible swordsman do exist, you know.
  • Hallucinations caused by dehydration?
  • Cactus juice?
• What was the point of having everyone in town dress as the Three Amigos for the final battle? What difference did that make? Even if they were just wearing their regular peasant clothes, the outcome would not have changed. I know it's a comedy and I shouldn't think too deeply into this, but really it seems like the villagers had the means and skill to defeat El Guapo's gang the entire time, they just never bothered to try.
  • By dressing up the townspeople as Amigos, El Guapo's men couldn't tell who the real Amigos were thus disorienting them.
  • But why does it matter if they knew who the real ones were? Even if they did, that wouldn't help one bit.
    • Because that's who they were in Santo Poco specifically to kill. El Guapo and his goons were pissed off about the Amigos interrupting their festivities and rescuing Carmen, so they were specifically gunning for the three of them, allowing the Amigos and the villagers to take advantage of the fact and confuse them while they got picked off. The villagers did have the means to fight back all along, they just didn't have the will to stand up to El Guapo until the Amigos showed that it could be done.
      • Not to mention that, as far as El G Uapo and his men know, the (surviving, given the fatalities and damage that ensued during the attack to punish them for calling the Amigos, where he also kidnapped Carmen) people of Santa Poco don't have the courage or the ability to fight back against he and his men. It's quite literally inconceivable to him that, after so long of being able to do literally whatever he wants to them, they would actually attack and kill his band. So, for he and his men, it looks like the Three Amigos are teleporting. Remember what Jefe and the other bandits were saying? Stuff like "There they are!", "Now they're over there!" and "The Amigos are everywhere!". They were way, way off balance. As for the remark that they never bothered to try...I mean, yeah. That's kind of the point. They are so afraid, so beaten down, that they don't dare do anything. Remember, Carmen hired the Amigos on her own, and the village was harshly punished for it. That's the very nature of bullies, regardless of scale. Look at the quote from Antz, when the grasshopper leader is talking about how and why they have to keep the ants in fear: because the minute the ants stop being afraid and fight back, the grasshoppers will lose.