Am I the only one who was bothered by M'Lynn complaining that her husband and son-in-law left because they "couldn't handle Shelby's death," when A; they were both in fact present at the hospital when she was in a coma, and B; they were also devastated by the loss of Shelby, and were likely handling their grief in a different way? I know M'Lynn was so devastated herself, and possibly wasn't thinking straight, but why vilify the two men who also lost someone special to them?
It's possible M'Lynn was ironically chastising herself upon realizing she's fallen into the trap of thinking that men are always the strong, emotionless ones. She states that "men are supposed to be made of steel or something", despite men being living things of flesh and blood with emotions they deserve to express. M'Lynn may have been wondering why men are forced to be emotionless, and why she expected them to be so, no matter how devastating the things they go through are. The mention of steel could be a throwback to the movie's title. One could even argue it's referring to men: expected to always be strong, but in reality need to show emotions like anybody else. We are all only human.
This is also an artifact line left over from the original play, in which the men really did leave the room when Shelby died and M'Lynn expressed her anger that they had abandoned not only Shelby but her. It's likely that the line was left in as a callback to the title, as noted by the troper above, because it reflected the story's central theme. The real question is why, if they had chosen to keep the line, did they not show the two men leaving?
Shelby wasn't thinking straight?
In the scene where Shelby suffers from a medical emergency at the salon, why was she refusing anybody to come to her aid when she was clearly in a critical condition?
People experiencing hypoglycemia (as Shelby was) frequently display irritable and irrational behavior, sometimes even to the point of violence (lay people have even mistaken this for being on drugs, as seen in the Real Life section of the Mistaken for Junkie page). It's not surprising that Shelby would be refusing help to the point of saying that she's going to leave when she's clearly not capable of doing so. Even those without diabetes who have low blood sugar from going too long without food can display similar, though not life-threatening, behavior (shaky, dazed, irritable, confused).
Denial. It's likely that refusing help was her final, desperate attempt to convince herself that she wasn't really dying.
Why would Health History be something that any judge would hold against Shelby from adopting a child? It's not like having diabetes is anything contagious!
Having one's physical and mental health thoroughly evaluated is a major component of applying to be a foster or adoptive parents. Diabetes can cause various severe health complications that could result in Shelby's premature death, leaving the child motherless—as happened here.
Tyin' into that, another disqualifier for perspective guardians is whether or not the guardians can take care of themselves along with a kid and, as we already know, Shelby was kinda neglectful of her health. 'nother thing to note is that this was in the 1980s, so the criterion to adopt or foster was a lot more strict (which is to say, they likely wouldn't let only Shelby's husband foster or adopt).
The Coma
How long was Shelby in a coma?
It's not clear, but depending on the severity of damage, it doesn't take long for doctors to know that there's no hope of recovery.
