Groin Attack / Webcomics

Dominic said there was no need for violence. The dwarf respectfully disagreed.

---

Groin Attacks in Webcomics.

---

Played for Comedy

• This comic features OSA getting annoyed so he kicks Newton in the balls. Ouch.

• Abused mercilessly in Buttlord GT - one memorable example being a Kamehame Hadoken Groin Attack at point blank range.
• Sluggy Freelance:
  • The comic has milked a lot of humor from Gwynn's violent tendencies, including how often she nails Riff in the groin when he acts like an insensitive jerk. Interestingly enough, the strip on August 21st, 2007 shows that Zoe's just as affected by a crotch kick as the two male leads.
  • Then there's Bun-Bun's Groin Attack on Gofotron: He stole the Sixth Ranger's piece of the Combining Mecha, the crotch. Hilarity Ensues.
• In 8-Bit Theater Black Mage, soon after becoming a Blue Mage (which allows him to learn attacks he survives getting hit with) is hit by a "Goblin Punch", which is actually just a kick in the nuts from a non-goblin monster (the attack was named by "the greatest cryptozoologist in all Red Wizard history, Blindy O'Sightless"). He learns this attack and returns it with enough force to launch the enemy into low orbit.
• In Monsterful, the mummy Lily Osiris has shown her pervert ghost friend Lawrence that not even ghosts are safe from this.
• In the Furry comic P.S.I., wrestler Lucy demonstrates her signature attack.
  • In relation to that, Badly Drawn Kitties shows us where Lucy learned it, and then applies it! However, after being fired, Lucy makes her former boss really regret it!
  Lucy: Well, at least I got to kick one last guy in the balls!
• Bigger Than Cheeses even has (or had; it hasn't made an appearance in quite some time) its own sound effect for nut shots — "Bojangles," or sometimes the long form "Right in the bojangles!"
• In Ronin Galaxy a gangster challenges Cecil to a duel with katanas, but the hero manages to even things out with a kick in the crotch.
• Goats has several characters' genetic materials extracted by the urethra weasels, which are just as painful as they sound; made worse by the graphic description of their function given while they work.
• The Order of the Stick:
  • Haley's father was apparently rendered sterile by a poison dart to the nuts.
  • In Bite Sized, Haley restrains Serini by holding them in a body lock and lifting them off the ground. Serini desperately kicks their legs and hits Haley in the crotch on the backswing. Haley lets out a grunt of pain but doesn't let go.
• In a storyline of Nip and Tuck, Thelma Opossum was about to be photographed in a bikini when the photographer tells her that she have to lose the outfit in question for a nude photo shoot. She immediately starts kicking lecherous guy's butt, which gets the attention of a lady wrestler.
  • Remember that section in Film about Elly Mae and that "Hickory Nut Crunch" finishing move from the Beverly Hillbillies movie? Thelma applies it forthwith. Ta-ta to those testicles.
• In Questionable Content Faye accidentally headbutts Marten's groin and then vomits all over him while she's blind drunk.
  • In a later comic, the Vespavenger's Vespa, which could morph into a not-so-giant-mecha, manages to also hit Marten in the crotch, with a metal pole. This leads to the statement from Marten as he's on the ground in pain, "Pain level...Shatnerian... in...intensity"
• Happens a few times in Dominic Deegan. "There's no need for — " UnSoundEffect The dwarfs seem to think otherwise. Earlier than that, Luna nails Sigfried right in the "knighthood." Ouch.
  • That first one achieve a huge meme among the snarkdom.
  • Well, Sigfried DID comment badly about her dental problem. Dude, Not Funny!.
• The Green Avenger has a character named Lady Groincrush, who uses this as her usual attack.
• This is the only thing the bulletproof Speedo can protect cops against in Cyanide and Happiness.
• In one Penny Arcade strip, Gabe ends up downloading a patch for Tribes 2 that ends with an OK button and the message "Click OK to be kicked in the beanbag". After debating between his love for the game and his genitals, he presses the button and his computer sprouts a leg and kicks him, elicting the memorable response "Right in the Mean Bean Machine!"
• When the Full Frontal Nerdity group plays Deadlands, Lewis' character ends up gelded by a zombie.
  • A later story arc had the group playing Miskatonic University fraternity members. The big rugby game between Miskatonic and Innsmouth turns into a battle between their entity-possessed mascots, until Nelson gets their mascot to perform "the Omega Non-Euclidia Pledge Punisher".
    C'mon! You want role-playing, this is us thinking like 1920's frat boys!
• Adam attempts one on Gloog in A Game of Fools, but due to the latter's Bizarre Alien Biology it isn't particularly successful.
• In Carry On, a sheep couple send their three lambs to school. The mom starts feeling the "Empty-Nest" reaction, but husband gets nearly neutered on the suggestion of having more kids◊!
  Bash: You're the one who brought it up!
• Asperchu receives one of these in his titular webcomic.
• Casey and Andy. Casey picks on a short alien with a single eye on a stalk. The alien retaliates. Casey spends the rest of the day watching Independence Day. On the other hand, when Quantum Cop catches the aliens and they give him the Groin Attack, he's wearing a cup. And he writes them a citation, since he happens to know their legal system too.
• Pokémon-X had this as one of the most popular comics. Lampshading Zelda's "Item Get!" sequence in the process probably helped.
  • It also led to the development of a group known as People for the Ethical Treatment of Brendan's Nuts (PETBN) on the comic's forums.
• Knocked out early in Ansem Retort, where Sora kicked Riku in the nuts to see if he could still feel it after being cut in half...and then did it again cause he forgot about it.
  Riku: SCREW YOU AND SCREW YOUR AMNESIA!
• Yuki of Ménage à 3 is the daughter of a mangaka who neglectfully exposed her to his tentacle porn work at a young age. As a result, whenever she sees or feels a man's penis, her mind registers it as a set of threatening tentacles, usually causing her to go temporarily insane, scream "TENTACLLLLES!" and kick the unfortunate fellow in the groin. She has even gone on extended cross-town groin-kicking rampages when particularly upset. Therapy is slowly resolving this problem, but she's not safe yet.
• In User Friendly, there is a "Forced-Feedback Enemy-Denial Smackdown Ergonomic Gaming Chair", which features a boxing glove on a stick aimed at the face for when your character is gibbed, and a metal, spike-knuckled gauntlet on a hydraulic ram positioned directly over the crotch for when your character is killed by Quad Damage.
• In Bridgettes Belly, Drill Sergeant Nasty-type camp counselor comes to take Bridgette to Fat Camp. As the girl was correcting him about her last name, he slaps her suitcase out of her hands. Bea, the girl's giraffe Parental Substitute, threatens him of this as she hoists him up by the collar, and giving a Death Glare at the same time in French:
  Bea: Look at me! If you ever pull that shit again, I'll pull out your vas deferens and use them for bowstrings!! Got it?!
• In Autobot Burnout's Funnies (a photocomic on Transformers World 2005), a recent (as of February 3rd, 2011) arc has Battle Ravage defeat the Fallen this way, using his (Ravage's) girlfriend Tigris' Buster Sword. As a result, The Fallen ends up with a censor bar over his gearbox.
• In Homestuck, a newly undead Kanaya kicks Gamzee in the crotch so hard it knocks him out of his shoes and off a cliff. HONK!
  • Later repeated with Trickster!Jane on Jake, once again knocking his Eye Glasses off.
• Sally decides to try this on Jango Fett in Darths & Droids after the fire from his flamethrower goes around Mace Windu's lightsaber. I kick him where it hurts!
• Female Example: Nosh delivers one to Sanny after the latter strikes a nerve in the stalled-out webcomic For Your Eyes Only. Ben then mentions how the trope normally applies to girls as Sanny writhes in pain.
• In Beyond the Canopy, young Glenn punches a much larger bully, Thistle, right in the acorns. When Glenn meets Thistle again some years later, he's wearing an armored codpiece to prevent further injury to that region.
• In the Sister, Sister arc of Elf Blood, Fliss delivers one to the female Death Elf punk. It has no effect, much to Fliss' protest: She's been kicked there before and it REALLY hurt.
• Greg takes one in the family jewels as he gets mistaken for a stalker. He's down for the count.
• In San: Three Kingdoms Comic, this is the ultimate attack that Zhuge Liang refuses to learn from his teacher. Same goes to Sima Yi.
  • Also in the Ask Cao Cao segment, Cao Cao got hit on the groin while playing tennis with Cao Ren, resulting him to order Cao Ren's castration and starting a long line of Running Gag of "Let me goooo I'm still virgin..."
  • Huang Zhong joins Shu by giving Zhuge Liang a Rapid-Fire Fisticuffs on the latter's groin, complete with "MUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDA!" and "WRRRRRYYYYY!!!!"
• In this early Turn Signals on a Land Raider strip, a Bloodthirster takes a 6-pound shell right in his Chaos No-Longer-Undivided.
• In The Meek, Pinter tells Angora that she can repel molesters by giving them "a kick in the clams". Not long afterwards, she follows his advice, in a rather unusual fashion. (Due to Angora being the Innocent Fanservice Girl, both links somewhat NSFW.)
• In Schlock Mercenary, an ore freighter's captain is praised for taking out a warship with just "rocks, ramming and balls of steel". He proceeds to clarify he had lost that last part of his "inventory" in a long-ago war.
• Muh Phoenix: Both Iron Man and Thor somehow managed to do this to the Phoenix Force.
• In Luminary Children, Lyzza does this to Rick.
  Rick: I'm sorry, please don't castrate me!
• Girl Genius: Martellus (Tweedle) is tough, but when Agatha administers one to him, he gets the message.
• In Free Spirit (2014), Winnie arranges for the Crotch-Kick Fairy to strike Robb a few times, the first time as punishment for trying to steal someone else's girlfriend.
• In Godslave, the fight between Edith and Turner opens with her kicking him where it hurts to make room for her escape. The pained expression on his face really says it all.
• A Running Gag in Venus Envy is the trans girl protagonist Zoe getting hit in her crotch. At least once this was combined with a Breast Attack.
• In Existential Comics, "The Vienna Circle Solves Humor", Wittgenstein proves that some things would still be funny if language was free of ambiguities by kicking Carnap in the balls.
• In Boy and Dog, Murphy jumps on Rowan's dad's crotch, with the Unsound Effect "NUTS".
• In Kevin & Kell, Bruno gets whomped when his daughter Carla (a chameleon) grabs a rock with her tongue, moving it to get at bugs underneath, then it flies back over her head and into Daddy.
• Yet Another Fantasy Gamer Comic: On meeting Clover Firelight for the first time, Glon gets a first-hand demonstration of how a halfling can be in a combat unit... with a punch to the groin.
• To Love Your Enemy: After she realizes her boyfriend is a douche, Yeonsee kicks him in the groin.
• DICE: The Cube That Changes Everything: In chapter 61 Dongtae awkwardly lands on Mio. She awaits what he's going to do next, but he just hangs for too long and she knees Dongtae in his dongtaes.
• Las Lindas: Twice, on Miles (and most likely won't be the last time this happens to him):
  • Early on in Comic 22 Mora shows Miles that she likes boiled eggs to go with her tea, by by dumping a scalding hot cup of the stuff onto his groin.
  • In Comic 194 during her quest to find where her birthday gifts are, she "gifts" Miles the lesson of never staying between a girl and his presents by kneeing him in the groin, leaving him on his knees. Luckily it was Sarah and not her sister doing the kneeing, or else it would REALLY be the last time it happens to him.

Played for Drama

• BLU Scout tries this against Rojo in this page of Cuanta Vida. Unfortunately, it gets worse. Much, much, worse.
• Dragon Ball Multiverse: Dodoria's killing of a Saiyan in page 448. Word of God says he actually hit him in the abdomen. Believe what you want.
• Dr. Bowman, in the July 28, 2014 strip of Freefall, mentions that in the past he took a sharpened plastic spoon and neutered himself after seeing what testosterone-fueled aggression was doing with other Uplifted Animals, which ultimately led to their deaths at age 40. Florence asks him if they can skip the details of the procedure, and move on to her next question for him.
• In El Goonish Shive, Sarah delivers a very impressive kick to Hedge's groin. While it does hurt him, it mostly seems to make him angry.
• Castration is a common threat in Furmentation; this by no means reduces the impact.
• A rare female version happens in Furry Fight Chronicles due to the comic focusing on female pro-wrestling. The first chapter has Roora pick up Fenny and slam her groin first into her knee.
• Jack has numerous examples:
  • "Skinless Friday" is one of the regular punishments visited on Drip
  • Jack used scythes borrowed from Central to cut off Drip's testicles, in the arc "Saving Arloest."
  • When Drip is regenerated... they left out a piece. He later tried to get it back... or rather, a replacement. Brian's, to be specific. "Fox eating rooster" indeed.
  • Megan delivers the mother of all groin attacks, with a sledgehammer, to Fiver after he rapes her. Visible cords are involved.
• In Thistil Mistil Kistil, after being drugged and dragged toward Human Sacrifice, Hedda resorts to this.
• Unsounded: When Starfish is manhandling/trying to molest Sette, she ends up jamming a dagger she had hidden in her sleeve earlier deep into his crotch.
• In The Young Protectors, Fluke has the distinction of being the only known mortal to stab a Demon Lord in the nethers. Given that the demon is a solid 60 feet tall, it's more distracting than debilitating, but still...
• In Kevin & Kell, Kell's opening move in one fight with ex-boyfriend Chet (a cheetah), who's doing a lousy job of impersonating Kevin (a rabbit) is to launch a foot straight into her attacker's groin. She quite easily wins the fight.

---