Funny / xkcd

Moments subpages are Spoilers Off pages. You Have Been Warned.

• "Guitar Hero":
  When I'm in a rock band, I'm gonna do a cool, mellow song. Then in the middle I'll stop, announce "this part is just to be an asshole to people playing Guitar Hero," and then flail wildly on the strings for 30 seconds.
• Though the comic itself is not funny, the mouseover text for "Back To The Future" is.
  "He's kind of an asshole, when you think about it"
• Centrifugal Force. The very image of James Bond and Auric Goldfinger having that conversation is just hilarious.
  • And the Black Hat Guy is Goldfinger.
• The pretty clever song parody "50 Ways To Learn To Hover".
• The mouse rollover text. Oh, good god, the mouse rollover text.
  • It gets better (or worse) when you get the alternate image of Taft in lesbian erotica.
• Would not buy again.
  • Note particularly the title on that one.
• "And I hope you've learned to sanitize your database inputs."
  • Only for it to resurface thrice more in later comics.
    • remember to read the Alt Text of all four
• "Go go Power Rangers!"
• "P.P.S. I can kill you with my brain."
• "Wait a second. Are you asking me to show her a mediocre time?"
• CTRL-C! CTRL-C!
• Know Your Vines.
• The directions on Google Maps.
• And who could forget the voting machine gem.
• Harrison Ford's less successful ad-libs as Han Solo.
• "You refuse to quarter troops in your house?" "I have few principles, but I stick to them."
  • That entire arc. "However, on review of your qualifications, we've decided to sentence you to death. An unorthodox move, sure. But the vote was unanimous."
• Even funnier for us biology majors.
• ... Are you doing anything later?
• Provided you get the reference, Alternative Energy Revolution.
  • Double Genius Bonus here because the stick figure version of Don Quixote is a very close match for a famous sketch of the character done by Picasso.
• In their spoof of The Matrix, when given the Red Pill, Blue Pill choice, Neo takes both pills, grinds them to a fine dust, then snorts the resulting purple dust. It causes reality to fracture.
  Morpheus: Now look what you've done...
  Neo: Where are we?
  Morpheus: I have no idea.
• The entirety of the "Race" arc.
  Cueball: So, wait. Summer's actually weird, Jewel's actually a mechanical whiz...Will Morena Baccarin be here? Is she really a—?
  Nathan and Jewel: No.
  
  Jewel Staite: She says, "Plan Gamma acknowledged. The meerkats are in the bag." ... So we're good?
  Nathan Fillion: Hard to tell with her. Did you see an actual bag of meerkats?
  Jewel Staite: No.
  Nathan Fillion: Then we're probably good.
  
  Nathan Fillion: No, use my space name!
  
  Summer Glau: I'm part of the floor now.
• "Could not reproduce." (Alt Text: Can't and shouldn't.)
• "Daddy? I wanna be a scientist!"
• "Aw, crap."
• Did you know you can just buy lab coats?
• "I...fondle the castle guard? That doesn't seem right."
  • "It did do six damage, though."
  • Alt Text: "You roll for initiative, and ... [roll] ... wow, do you ever take it."
• The Five-Minute Comics series has sad circumstances, but the comics themselves are very funny. The "hotness rating" one in the first part is darkly hilarious.
• The Alt Text for "Core": If you're a geologist or geophysicist and you don't introduce yourself by saying your name, then gesturing downwards and say "...and I study that", I don't know what you're doing with your life.
• "Are you sure you're a doctor?" "Almost definitely."
• For anyone who's read The Wealth Of Nations ...
  • Alt Text: 'Rating 1/5. Room filled to brim with semen, and when front desk clerk opened mouth to talk, bedbugs poured out.'
• "Can anyone tell me what's wrong with this picture?"
• We overthought this.
• Late-Night PBS. Who knew there was a darker version of Where In The World Is Carmen Sandiego? on the air?
• The Alt Text to Compare and Contrast.
• "The trick was fuckin'." (imgur link because "Umwelt" changes by location/browser/referrer)
• "...And this is the future if you give up the fight over the word 'literally'."
• "Click and Drag" is big enough to have individual moments within it:
  • Just over the mountain from the start, a birder looks left through her binoculars and exclaims, "Ooh, a yellow warbler!" Her friend replies, "Cool"—not needing binoculars to see the giant flying jellyfish immediately to their right.
  • In a deep, deep dark cave, two poor souls trapped at the bottom of a pit call out:
  "Is anyone up there? If you can hear us, friend us on Facebook!"
  "Follow us on Twitter! Please!"
• Wishbone does Fifty Shades of Grey.
• In a disturbing way, "Rubber and Glue".
• Nothing To Offer.
• Conditioning. Just imagine what would happen if you tried to pull it off.
• Imagine a giant bowling ball on a rubber sheet...
• "Every change breaks someone's workflow." Even repairing a bug that makes the computer overheat when you hold the space bar, apparently.
• Einstein.
• 10-Day Forecast
• Randall's take on the 2013 US government shutdown. "Are you okay? Do you need help?"
• 20th-Century headlines rewritten to get more clicks.
• The ongoing war between two spaces after a period, one space after a period and Cueball's third option.
• Have you read James Joyce's Love Letters? The phrases "my little fuckbird" and "arse full of farts" appear. If we want to write the next Ulysses, our generation may not be sexting enough.
• Randall Munroe shows the downside of having immense troubleshooting powers.
• Beret Guy continues to inexplicably succeed in business in utter defiance of common sense and possibly the laws of causality.
• Literally shaking what your mama gave you.
• The ending of Jealousy is a hilarious Mood Whiplash from the otherwise heartwarming tale.
• "You need to get out either more or less. I can't decide."
• The phrase "Not even in your dreams" takes an unexpected turn.
• Neil deGrasse Tyson should be ashamed of all the pain he caused.
• "What exactly is in the painkillers they gave you?"
  Megan: ...You made the entire continent perfectly flat?
  Cueball: And sorted it into layers.
  Megan: ...
  Cueball: I feel good about things. This is a good game.
  • Even better is the Alt Text (and the paranoia and Crazy-Prepared-ness within).
  "I heard general anesthesia drugs can cause amnesia, so when I woke up mid-extraction, I started taking notes on my hand so I'd remember things later. I managed 'AWAKE BUT EVERYTHING OK' before the dental assistant managed to find and confiscate all my pens."
• Scheduling is important. Even if you're lazy.
  "8:00 AM - Whenever: Fuck around."
• What happens when you combine overthinking and recycling.
• Xkcd's comic 1732 is a timeline detailing changes in the Earth's average temperature across time (to illustrate the point about man-made global warming even further), with a few funny bits added to make what is essentially an alarming fact less depressing (see NightmareFuel.XKCD).
  • One highlight is at 9000 BCE about North American Pokémon going extinct. It's made even better in the explanation:
  "As prehistoric Megan states, this is not a real fact. (...) Since [Pokémon GO] was released Pokémon began to thrive throughout the entire world, and are now most commonly found near affluent first world neighborhoods."
• A Star Wars linguistics lesson.
  Emperor Palpatine: It me. I allowed it.
  Darth Vader: My master, please never say that again.
• The "Hoverboard" strip is mostly awesome, but there are some funny moments:
  • On the Star Destroyer, Darth Vader can be found explaining Steven Universe to a subordinate. The mental image of a Sith Lord watching Steven Universe is priceless.
  • Beret Guy can be found doing his best Slim Pickens impression on one of the torpedoes, but what clinches it is what he shouts as he does it:
    Beret Guy: Horsey!
  • Darth Vader's computer literacy is mocked.
    First Cueball: The Death Star plans are not in the main computer.
    Second Cueball: Darn.
    Second Cueball: See, if we had found them in the main computer, that would be good news, since it would mean no one else had them.
    Second Cueball: But since we didn’t find them, we need to keep searching for anyone with a copy.
    Second Cueball: That all makes sense and I definitely understand how computers work.
  • Apparently Elon Musk has a secret lair beneath Mount Doom. Who knew?
  • While we're on the subject of Mount Doom, Cueball describes the volcano's fumes as, and I quote, "Earth vaping."
  • At a gas station, an X-wing has stopped for a fill-up.
  • Megan rates the sea.
    Megan: This is an okay sea. 2 1/2 stars.
  • "And if any here can give cause why these two should not be wed, The Great Jabba the Hutt will now listen to your pleas."
  • "I want synesthesia so bad I can taste it."
  • A girl flying by flapping her arms.
• Randall explains how mRNA vaccines such as the COVID vaccine work using Star Wars. Also double as Awesome Moment as an effective, easy-to-understand explanation how the vaccine will work. Plus, they're blowing up more Death Stars woohoo!
• Hey- who does sudo report these "incidents" to?
• "Hurricane Names" involves so many hurricanes forming that they start receiving random words as names, such as "Eggbeater". Later, when it becomes impossible to properly identify them individually, they are collectively named "Steve".
• "Wake Up Sheeple! Wake Up Sheeple! Wake Up Sheeple!"
• The National Hurricane Center's deadpan descent into madness during the saga of Epsilon and Zeta.

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