Funny / Xenoblade Chronicles X

• This European trailer tells players they must fight for humanity's survival (before showing the player character diving into the ocean in only some tights), "Fight ferocious beasts" (said beasts are seen napping, eating, and otherwise being anything but ferocious), and "Meet lovely people" (like Lin, who is seen cooking Tatsu).
  "...you kiddin' me?!"
• When customizing your player character, it is possible to give him/her skin colors that are naturally impossible for humans in real life. However, only player characters can have these implausible skin colors (all human NPCs have relatively realistic skin tones), yet the affinity chart says you're human, and every NLA resident and BLADE member will act like you're a perfectly ordinary human.
• Lin fangirling over Skells early in the game, to the point of almost showing Skell fanfiction she had written. When she spots one walking past, she starts catcalling it ("Oh yeah, work it, Baby!"). One gets the feeling she'd flirt with the things if they were sentient.
• When Secretary Nagi asks the player to join BLADE and if the player initially refuses, he guilt trips the player by asking Lin rhetorical questions about the in-stasis humans. For more humor, the way Lin calls him out on it suggests that Rook is not the first would-be BLADE that Nagi has guilt-tripped into joining, and makes her acting certain that Rook would join BLADE before their decision (while everyone else tells her not to pressure Rook) make even more sense.
  Nagi: [Camera focuses on his face before he looks to Lin] Ms. Koo. How much do you know about lifepods?
  Lin: Lifepods? You mean, like, from the White Whale?
  Nagi: Yes, those lifepods. Like the one Elma - a BLADE - rescued our friend here from. Emphasis on the word "rescued". Because, if you aren't released, you just sit there frozen in stasis. ''Forever''.
  Lin: So did you have an engineering question about lifepods?...Or is this all part of the guilt trip?
  Nagi: I'm sure I have no idea what you're talking about. [turns his attention back to PC] Now what'll it be, friend?
  • If the player says "no" two more times, this exchange happens:
    Nagi: Now, you wouldn't want to refuse the people who saved your life, would you? Friend?
    Player Character: [says no a third time]
    Nagi: You said no, you wouldn't refuse—that's a yes, right?
• L's introduction. One word. "Asscaves".
  • To add to that, L continues to get human sayings slightly wrong (accurate enough to understand what he means, but still completely messing up the saying) to the point where everyone gives up correcting him and just go "close enough" as a running gag.
    L: "Too many heads is better than none!"
    Lin: ... Close enough.
  • L's tendency to do this even starts rubbing off on other people:
    Tatsu: No need for payment. This one all over the house!
    Lin: Let me guess, L taught you that one?
  • L's battle dialogue is similarly hilarious.
    L: [Ambushed] "It's a horse-eat-horse world!"
    L: [Enemy reinforcements] "What a nice hot welcome!"
    L: [Asking for healing] "Could someone get our party started?"
    L: [KO'd] "This number has been… disconnected."
    L: [Enemy defeated] "Wonderful, we are still alive!"
• Tatsu's first appearance, when Lin thought he was a sentient potato. She still thinks that way when Tatsu explains himself, even going so far as to use potato-based analogies and repeatedly ask Elma to help her cook him.
  • This continues when Tatsu is brought to the BLADE Barracks, where Lin insists that the nearby fridge can serve as his bed.
  • This also continues with nearly every human who meets Tatsu early on, confusing him for various types of vegetables.
  • This extends to cutscenes that play when beginning story missions: Lin asks the player what they'd like for dinner, and based on their decision, Lin tries to find some way to make the meal out of Tatsu.
    • At the start of the semi-final story mission, all of the original options from the previous mission intros will have been used up. Whatever the player chooses for the last cooking decision, Lin will come the closest she has ever had to cooking Tatsu and is actually shown simmering him in a pot (and he seems to be enjoying it too). This was shown in the European ad listed at the beginning of the page.
• When asked about his father, Tatsu's cheerfulness slips, leading the player to reach the obvious conclusion. Reaching the end of the quest reveals the truth: Tatsu's father is alive but working to pay off the family's debts. As this year's Heropon, he's required to kill some ancient gods to get paid.
  • When Koko (Tatsu's mamapon) reveals she threw said glasses into the ocean, Cross can simply tell Tatsu to get over it. This actually gets a favorable reaction from Elma and Lin, only for the latter to suddenly say "What? That's a terrible thing to say!"
  • Then there is his father's glasses. They're a pair of Triangle Shades!
• Your first personal encounter with the Wroth is a largely dramatic scene seeing as you're forced to surrender and lay down your weapons. But, as always, Tatsu suddenly makes it funny again by laying down his Nerd Glasses and revealing that he has squinty ( 3_3) eyes.
• When the team first reaches the desert region that humans call Oblivia, Tatsu tells them its Nopon name: The much less majestic "Sandy Bum Canyon".
  Tatsu: "This place always have sandstorms. Sands get everywhere! Therefore: Sandy Bum Canyon. Nopon ancestors name it just fine ages ago! Or does Linly think she better namer than native Miran peoples?"
• Jo the Walking Techbane in the Commercial District.
  • Even the game mechanics get into it. After her comm device breaks, you get a choice where you can let her borrow yours. The "no" option is "Keep your comm device far, far, away from this girl."
  • When you track her down after she runs away, she's at the church, praying. About the coffee machine.
    Jo: Holy frother, I have sinned. It has been three days since my last contraption...
  • This questline is Hilarious in Hindsight when you consider that everyone is a mimeosome and hers might be malfunctioning in some manner that breaks any other electronic devices close to it.
• During a quest regarding Rosie's jealousy over the water plant, if you insinuate her anger issues might be the reason she wasn't promoted, she says this.
  Rosie: EXCUSE ME?! I have a WONDERFUL PERSONALITY and I will CRUSH YOU if you say otherwise!
• After the Zaruboggan migrate into New Los Angeles, a side quest becomes available where you have to stop a deranged human terrorist named Homer from poisoning all of NLA with stolen voltant. When Homer pollutes the Biahno Water Purification Plant, Phoskeran - the same Zaruboggan Homer duped out of his voltant - immediately rushes in to devoltanize the plant as a form of stress-relief, completely oblivious to the attempted terrorism going on. Homer is left speechless over being derailed by someone not even trying to stop him and just turns himself in.
• The descriptions and sometimes even names of the collectibles have their moments.
  • One from Cauldros has the very tabletop RPG-esque name of Rod of Brutality +10. According to the description, it was given the name by Murderess of all people. She thought it would be useful for beating people up.
  • The Magical Finding Rod is a Nopon-made dowsing rod. It consists of a coin tied to a stick, so the Nopon know they've found something when they feel the coin hit it.
    Hardly the most scientific of methods, but it seems to work for them.
  • The Icarus Wings are essentially a Nopon hang glider that fails to do what it's designed for, yet is still popular enough.
    An invention of Nopon who dreamed of taking to the skies. Shockingly ineffective, though that doesn't deter the many Nopon who optimistically plummet to their deaths each year.
• In Elma's second Heart-to-Heart, the player is asked about their preferences regarding pets. One of the possible responses was almost certainly a trap for players who expected a Romance Sidequest.
  Elma: What animal do you think makes the best pet?
  • Your options:
    Cats: Say You're a cat person.
    Dogs: Say You're a dog person.
    Elma: Say You're an Elma person.
  • Choosing "Elma" leads to this gem of a response:
    Elma: That's... interesting. You know I'm not a pet right? So why on Earth would you even say that? Perhaps this is another symptom of the damage your mimeosome suffered in the crash. I'll make an appointment for you at the Mimeosome Maintenance Center and request they perform a disassembly so they can analyze your components. Oh, don't worry - its a routine procedure for severe mental damage. I'll personally make sure they do a thorough job of cleaning out your skull.
  • Choosing the "Dogs" option will instead have her comment on Rook having a "dog-like quality" and "good-natured obedience." One could interpret this as her indirectly calling the player a bitch.
• L's second Affinity Mission, "The Nopon Heir" has you gathering materials for Tora, who says that the heir to the Nopon business was suffering a serious illness, and requires you to fight against powerful enemies such as Millesaurs in Primordia and even Telethia, the Endbringer—the Level 99 Tyrant that saved your team in Chapter 6 and requires the best gear to even have a chance of beating it otherwise—to get materials that they drop to create a Legendary Nopon Remedy. What happens at the end? Turns out, this "Nopon heir" is Tora himself, and that this "serious illness" is just a case of bad gas after overeating. The team is not amused, especially not Tatsu.
• The postgame Affinity Mission, "To Serve Nopon" has a rather hilarious gem, when Tatsu overhears Lyn's plans for him, and misinterprets it as her finally making good on her threats to cook and eat him. Specifically, she's looking for a Nopon recipe to die for, while Tatsu hears it as a recipe she needs a Nopon to die for. His reaction to it, and the shot of a sinister Lyn in his mind are pretty priceless.
  • And at the end, he again misinterprets Lyn saying that he is part of the family as her saying that she is his wife. Lyn has serious objections to that.
• One mission involves you having to help a female Prone revive a sacred tree using a seed that she took with her from her homeworld. After finding a self-proclaimed botanist Orphe, he helps her revive the tree as a sprout. ...Only to eat it mere seconds later. What happens next is her punching out the Orphe, completely from the POV of the victim himself. After this misunderstanding is cleared up and the tree is revived once more, yet another Orphe runs in from out of nowhere and eats the newly-revived tree sprout. She punches him out in the same manner as before. Amusingly, this is the "bad ending" to the mission (the "good ending" requires telling the other Orphe nearby to not eat the second sprout before planting it), but a lot of players prefer this ending because of what ensues (it also helps that this is one of the few "bad endings" that doesn't result in any otherwise-preventable NPC deaths unless you count the second tree).
  • Once more, if you talk to the initial botanist Orphe after the mission has been completed, he's apparently come to realize that he is a masochist and wants to get punched by the female Prone again.
• Rook and Tora's shocked reaction at the revelation of Mia having had two fathers at the end of her Affinity Mission.
• There's a quest at the Nopon Caravan in Oblivia in which BLADE member Milly has you look for a cure for a sick Nopon, and then later track down the Nopon's boyfriend who went looking for a cure himself. When they are reunited, you see the sick Nopon for the first time... She is HUGE, over twice the size of regular Nopon. She is so big that she bumps into her boyfriend and sends him flying clear over the horizon! The baffled Milly's response is to ask if you could track him down once more, to which Rook just puts his hand on his thigh and shakes his head, ending the mission.
• Before the last battle in the mission "The Duel (Part II)", right as Gi Zang is about to say his line, he bites his tongue, twisted dialogue included. The best part about this is that the battle music stops.
• During Mia's recruitment mission, the party comes across a Definian who's doing a very poor job of impersonating Mia. Cross just stares at them with a bored/annoyed expression. Even funnier when you realize that completing "Definian Downfall" is one of the prerequisites for doing this recruitment mission, meaning that not only are you in the Definians' main base camp, Cross (and the player by extension) should be very familiar with the Definians' tactics by this point.
• Some of the player character's dialogue options; rather than show actual lines of dialogue, the game gives you extremely tongue-in-cheek descriptions of how you could respond:
  Dialogue Box: Rub your fingers together like you're playing the world's smallest violin.◊ ^note For the record, the other option is "Roll your eyes waaaaaaaaay back into your head". Evidently, Tobias gets no respect even from the game.
  Dialogue Box: Tremble at the the awe-inspiring sight of life's new dawn.^note The "miracle" in question is actually a blatantly stitched-up doll made(on the spot) by a Nopon woman faking a pregnancy to get away from her overprotective husband and get hitched with someone else.
  Dialogue Box: Say that you're the sharpest BLADE in the drawer. ^note If you choose this option, the person you're talking to immediately points out how bad of a joke it is.
  Dialogue Box: Explain that you are dead inside. ^note In response to a Ma-non asking you about human emotions and whether you feel love.
• Hon'barac from the quests concerning the nature of the Ovah mentions that the Nopon have been coming to him in order to obtain it for themselves. His fear that they are primitive enough for it to infect and thrive inside him makes him decide to tell them that their life savings will also be cut in half each time they split.
• The ending cutscenes before the credits also have a few funny gems:
  • Gwin finally gets a date with Irina, but ends up stuck with both their bill but Murderess' as well.
  • L attempts to pull his Snake Oil Salesman routine on Hope.
  • During training, Phog stuggles to complete push ups while Yelv and Frye competes to see who can do more.
• Alexa takes a lot of flack for her Skell obsession, but in her post-fight dialog with Frye, she hits back:
  Frye: (mockingly) "Hey, Alexa, when're you gonna get it up over something besides Skells?"
  Alexa: "Whatever. All YOU ever talk about is booze and your brother."
• The "Matchmaker" Affinity mission has a few moments:
  • The moment where Lin mentions Lao's family is serious, but the moment immediately after isn't: the PC can choose to try to cheer her up, prompting them to start flailing their arms in the background, and then collapse in a dejected heap when it doesn't help.
  • Later on, Shingo takes potshot at Tatsu, who actually snaps back at him:
    Tatsu: Says the guy who needs a whole team to help him ask out a girl!
  • When you take the bracelet to Jeshero, he tells you that cutting the gem for the bracelet will be very expensive. His price? Ten pizzas.
• After you finally rescue Mia from the Ganglion Antropolis and return to NLA, during her report to Walter she gives a little Too Much Information on the Definian probing methods and how she grew to like the feral smell she had from not being able to bathe. She quickly takes the latter back, claiming it to be "Totally inappropriate as a subordinate. And a lady. And a human being..."
• Chapter 8 is mostly serious, but before the first wave of enemies rolls in, the group takes a few minutes to poke fun at how Vandham's mustache means he doesn't quite look the part of a Brigadier General.
• One NPC hangs all the lampshades on the PC/questgiver dynamic
  Rosie: "HEY! You! I don't know who you are, but you're gonna sit there and listen to me carp about my problems!"
• One late game quest involves helping a Wrothian ironworker fulfill his lifelong dream of forging the ultimate sword. It's clearly very Serious Business to him, as he's spent 40 years and 10,000 failed attempts on it. When you bring him the materials he needs, he finally tells you why this sword is so important to him: Because swords are AWESOME! He immediately runs off to Cauldros and nearly gets himself killed, because not once in those 40 years did he actually learn how to use a sword.
• One quest has an Orphe ask you to find and rescue his newborn child, who has disappeared into Noctilum. If you chide him for his apparent lack of concern for your safety, he decides to imitate a human instead:
  Nan'celeg: IT'S ALL ON YOU, BRO! YOU ARE THE BEST! BRING NEN'CELEG HOME AND YOU WILL BE A LEGEND FOREVER! OH YES, BRO!
  Nan'celeg: I trust you are now sufficiently motivated.
• Another quest involves an Orphe attempting to learn to tame beasts like the Prone, in order to protect himself. Along the way he befriends a group of other xenos, and when he ultimately fails to subdue the indigen he sought, they promise to help him as his friends: the Prone can beat up anyone who threatens him, the Ma-non can provide answers to any questions that haunt him, and the Nopon... can lend him money. This is punctuated by their respective affinity links changing to "Can be his strength", "Can be his wisdom", and "Can be his wallet".
• Some of Rook's and party post-battle banter:
  Female Mature: These Miran winds aren't very compatible with my hair.
  Bozé: Shall I refer you to my stylist?
  H.B.: Wow, that's relevant. Can we go?
  Nagi: I seem to recall the director general having the same complaint.
  Gwin: Yeah, you look like an old broom! (beat) No, wait! Don't kill me!
  
  Male Warrior: Men are like stones, smoothed by the tide of battle.
  Murderess: You sure men aren't the tides?
  Lao: Philosophy, great.
  Yelv: Is that fortune cookie for "better luck next time"?
• A Wrothian has a female human cornered in an alley, and wants a sword. The female human is scared out of her wits, until it's revealed that the Wrothian wants to be a baker, and his sword will be his cooking knife.
• Most of the holographic figures you can display in the barracks are enemies, weapons, and gear. Some of the ones in the "miscellaneous" category, on the other hand, are very much on the ridiculous end of the spectrum. Such as:
  • A stack of three Nopon staring down a Prone
  • A Ma-Non armed with two guns and screaming, Rambo-style
  • Veven surfing on top of the Miramobile
  • A Nopon stuck inside of a cage trap
  • Koko violently going "fishing"
  • Two Ma-Non about to have a Spaghetti Kiss while sharing a hot dog
  • A Prone hurling barrels.
    • A Nopon dodging a barrel.
    • A Nopon getting hit by a barrel
  • H.B. posing shirtless.
  • Tatsu wearing his Triangle Shades and pointing towards the heavens.
• "Defininian Downfall" may be That One Sidequest, but it still has some pretty funny moments. If you choose to reprogram Fortun rather than killing her, Professor B reprograms her to be much more immature, essentially giving her the personality of a surly teenager. You also get the option to gain some information from her via Tickle Torture.
  • Alternatively, if you do decide to kill her, the next mission in line, "Definian Love", is a massive breather, as the Definian Lyvia wants to find a friend. They all end up being dumped, as Lyvia falls for the player instead of the chosen suitor, Lyvia shows her true form, and the suitor is often heartbroken, indifferent, or scared shitless.
• Most of the names of Tyrants are either serious or descriptors of what they can do. Others, however, get rather entertaining. Such as:
  • Wenzel, the Inebriated
  • Casper, the Unhealthy Eater
  • Ludvik, the Picky Eater
  • Sheldon, the Dentally Challenged ^note a Dilus
  • Florence, the Hell Maggot
• One of the sidequests involves a woman who purchased a lotion from a Nopon merchant that caused her to lose all of her hair. This can lead the Nopon to attempt to gather the ingredients for a cure, and he somehow manages to strand himself in a cave on a floating island in Oblivia in the process, requiring you to rescue him. The real kicker is when you finally free him and he obtains the ingredients he requires: =while he was off gathering ingredients, the woman who had lost her hair suddenly remembered that she's in a mimeosome and simply got herself new hair at the Maintenance Center, rendering the entire quest unnecessary.
• When you first run into Frye, he immediately press-gangs you into a night of drinking. You can have Cross claim to be underage, only for him to say "So have some juice, or milk, or whatever you kids are drinking!"
• Lin's second Heart-to-Heart has her walking the pet dog in the BLADE Barracks, where she pitches to you the idea of teaching the dog tricks. Like Elma's aforementioned Heart-to-Heart, this one also has its own obviously joke response:
  Teach Shake: Offer the dog your hand and say "shake!"
  Teach Flips: Show the dog how to do a flip in midair.
  Teach Lin: Offer Lin your hand and say "shake!"
  • Choosing the last option leads to Lin screaming at you for treating her like an animal:
    Lin: ...... NOT ME! THE DOG! Seriously? Is that how you think of me? Like I'm just some...some PET?!
  • This option raises Lin's affinity.
• One sidequest with Alexa is trying to discover who's recently been sabotaging her weapons experiments. Eventually you find that it's Mika, a female BLADE in love with her teammate Camber. Alexa often stops by to excitedly chat with Camber about his Skell, and Mika thinks she's trying to seduce him. Hilariously, the player actually has to explicitly spell this out to Alexa, who is utterly clueless about why Mika is angry. Her reaction when she learns is hilarious:
  Rook: She thinks you're trying to steal Camber away from her.
  Alexa: Ohhh! Right! Right, right, right, right... um, Mika, you're a total idiot!
  Mika: What!?
  Alexa: I don't love Camber, I love his Skell!
• During Mia's second heart-to-heart, she seems to be planning to break into Sakuraba Industries. You have the option to try knocking her out to stop her, which most party members will approve of.
• This after battle exchange:
  Yelv: Damn, Irina. You don't fight like a girl.
  Irina: You're going to be singing like one if you keep that up.

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