Funny / X-Men

• "What do they call you, 'Wheels'?"
  • Even better: Hugh Jackman ad-libbed that. The original line was "baldie", which isn't nearly as good.
• Cyclops gets a lot of funny lines in the series. Film!Cyke is a real Deadpan Snarker. For example:
  Xavier: ...There are more powerful mutants than him. What is Magneto after?
  Cyclops: Maybe it's his way with people (referring to Logan's uncalled-for insults directed at him).
  Xavier: You don't like him.
  Cyclops: (Smiling) How could you tell?
  Xavier: Well, I am psychic, you know.
• Mystique's kidnapping Senator Kelly is a serious scene, particularly since her only line in the film has her express her hatred for him. However, when she starts assaulting him with a series of kicks across the face, the scene undergoes Mood Whiplash when the camera shows her with a cute little smirk as she uses her feet to bitchslap Kelly unconscious. It looks like she's having the time of her life using his face as a toy rather than one of the greatest oppressors of her kind. Then again, mutant or not, how many women get to slap a politician with their bare feet and get away with it?
  • In Kelly's case, he looks less distressed about being kidnapped and more repulsed about having a mutant's blue scaly feet rubbing his face.
  • The beating is funny due to Special Effects Failure showing that the hitting sound effects, Mystique's slapping foot, and Kelly's recoiling face are not synchronized. The result is Kelly swinging his face before Mystique's foot hits him and then the hitting sound playing when Mystique's foot returns on the spot where Kelly's face is just when he is swinging his face at the other direction.
    • Even funnier is that during the filming of the scene, Rebecca (Mystique) did kick Bruce (Kelly) by mistake. She was given special lenses for Mystique's eye color, but she refused to wear them because they made her vision blurry and she was afraid to kick Bruce because of it. The directors agreed with Rebecca's decision...only for her to still end up kicking Bruce in the face by mistake. Apparently, Rebecca is not as coordinated as her character in real life. Bruce forgave her, saying that he didn't mind being kicked in the face by a naked supermodel.
• This little convo.
  Wolverine: You gonna tell me to stay away from your girl?
  Cyclops: Well if I had to do that she wouldn't be my girl.
  Wolverine: Then I guess you got nothing to worry about, do you... Cyclops?
  Cyclops: Must burn you up that a boy like me saved your life. You better be careful, might not be there next time. Oh, and Logan... Stay away from my girl.
• And, not just his lines, but also the first time Logan and Cyclops interact it completely demonstrates how they're going to get along. When first introduced, Cyclops offers a friendly handshake which Logan leaves hanging. When Logan shows no interest in Xavier's talk, he begins to leave, but realizes Cyclops is in his way. Instead of asking or walking past him, he grabs him by the collar and tries to threaten him. Without flinching, Cyclops just looks down at Logan's grip, before then looking towards Xavier as if asking for permission to hurt him.
• Wolverine's skeleton sets off the metal detector and Cyclops is clearly exasperated. Wolverine silences the alarm with a claw-punch, and then retracts only the two outer claws, giving Cyclops the middle finger with the remaining middle claw. Cyclops can't help but laugh, while Jean rolls her eyes. We're not telepaths but we can all clearly hear her thinking: "Children, I'm working with children."
• After Wolverine's fight with Mystique:
  Cyclops raises his hand to his visor.
  Wolverine: Hey, it's me.
  Cyclops: Prove it.
  Wolverine: You're a dick.
  Cyclops: [Beat] (completely unoffended) Okay.
  • Incidentally, one of the few lines that survived the draft written by Joss Whedon.
• Magneto has all the X-Men restrained with metal in the head of the Statue of Liberty.
  Cyclops: Storm? Fry him.
  Magneto: Ah, yes. A bolt of lighting into a huge copper conductor. I thought you lived at a school.
• Wolverine insisting he doesn't need lessons in auto-safety from Rogue, right before he wrecks his camper and, due to not wearing a seat belt, he goes flying through the windscreen and lands twenty feet away with what looks like a broken neck. Were it any one else, it would be horrifying, but since it's Wolverine, it's hilarious.
• In one of the bloopers, Spider-Man shows up to help with the situation at the Statue of Liberty.
  Spider-Man: I am completely in the wrong movie! I am so sorry!
  • For added hilarity, Cyclops chases after him.
• Wolverine stealing Cyclops' motorcycle. Whilst riding, he notices a button near one of the handlebars and out of curiosity pushes it. Said button causes a Turbo Boost that speeds up the bike to dangerous levels. Wolverine even smiles, clearly having a good time with this. Either that or he's having G-forces.
• After Sabretooth's failed attempt to grab Rogue in the first act, he comes back to Magneto's lair empty-handed. This does not unnoticed by Toad, who doesn't even have to look up from his welding:
  Toad: Weren't you supposed to bring someone back with you?
  *Sabretooth angrily roars*
• Wolverine is introduced taking part in cage fights. Before the next match the referee offers the opponent, who he talked up as the guy who was going to beat Logan, some free advice:
  Referee: Whatever you do, don't hit him in the balls.
  Fighter: You said "anything goes".
  Referee: "Anything goes", but he'll take it personal.
• Sabretooth again gets the Butt-Monkey treatment from his comrades when he fails to keep Senator Kelly from falling into the waterways and out of Magneto's custody. When all Sabretooth holds up is Kelly's tattered sleeve, Magneto snarls and leaves the cell, then without breaking stride or turning around, manipulates the cell bars shut so Sabretooth walks right into them and is imprisoned.
• Shortly before that, Magneto snarkily greets Kelly with "How are we feeling, Senator? Advanced, I hope."
• During his fight with Jean and Storm, Toad does a feint at Jean, which causes her to instinctively jump back defensively. He then does a silly feint dance to mock the situation, then snaps right back into a serious offensive stance. Jean tries to freeze in him in mid-air with her powers, but he simply spits goo in her face. When he knocks Storm down an elevator shaft later on, he blows a raspberry in glee.
• In one of the outtakes, James Marsden reveals that the leather outfits started out so stiff, they could barely get over a single waist-high barrier in the scene where they approach the Statue of Liberty. The footage shows them stumbling, and nearly falling, over the barrier, even doing stretches to try and loosen the outfits.
  James Marsden: [after successfully vaulting the barrier for the first time] "Some geek's takin' pictures of us in the hotel right now with a telescopic lens. He's going, 'The new comedy: X-Men!'"
• A real life example: When Patrick Stewart was first approached to star in the film, he wasn't familiar with the source material. So the producer handed him an X-Men comic, which featured Professor X on the cover. After staring at it for a couple of seconds, Stewart responded with the rather epic:
  "Why am I on the cover of a comic book?"

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