Funny / Wittgenstein

• Wittgenstein refuses to be empirical:
  Bertie: Why won't you just admit there's no rhinoceros in this room?
  Wittgenstein: Because, Professor Russell, the world is made up of facts, not things.
  Bertie: Look for yourself. I tell you for a fact, there is no rhinoceros in this room!
  Wittgenstein: The issue is metaphysical, not empirical.
  Bertie: [exasperated] I thought the next big step in philosophy would be yours. Now I am not so sure.
  [They leave. After a moment, Young Wittgenstein crawls slowly out from under the table, wearing a ridiculous homemade rhinoceros mask.]
• Comically Missing the Point: Ottoline spends most of her onscreen time doing this.
  Wittgenstein: Why is there anything at all rather than just nothing?
  Ottoline: Well, how the bloody blue blazes should I know? I'm the woman. You are the philosopher.
  Wittgenstein: The most important part of my philosophy hasn't been written. I can't write it. It can never be written.
  Ottoline: Oh bunkum! A full English breakfast and a spot of application.
• "That means I've spent most of my life gwoping down a blind elleh!"^note "Groping down a blind alley"