Funny / Will Grayson, Will Grayson

• "maura [fucking witch ass bitch mussolini al-qaeda darth vader non-entity]" — Will Grayson #2 after what she did.
• The following exchange:
  Tiny: His text messages are like poetry!
  Will #1: So "Shall I compare thee to a summer's day?" becomes "u r hawt like august".
• "Have you ever seen a really sexy baby?"
• "Just so you know: e. e. cummings cheated on both of his wives. With prostitutes."
• This piece of dialogue:
  me : dicks before math
  gideon : that makes no sense.
  me : exactly.
• Will #2: "he's what would happen after nine months if abercrombie fucked fitch."
• Will #2 again: "Or <3. You think this looks like a heart? That's because you've never seen a scrotum."
• Tiny's fictionalisation of his coming out to Will # 1, and the latter's complete lack of surprise. Especially since Will admits that yeah, that was more or less how it happened in real life.
  Tiny: But I'm a football player.
  "Phil": Dude, you couldn't be gayer.
  Tiny: I thought my straight-acting deserved a Tony.
  "Phil": But, Tiny, you own a thousand My Little Ponies!