Funny / What's with Andy?

• When asked by the principal why Andy can't be more like his sister, Andy responds with, "It's a very expensive surgery."
• In "Beat the Bomb", Andy mentions the popularity of the novelty hit "The Monkey Dance", remarking how he wouldn't be caught dead doing something dorky like that. Then this happens:
  Jen: What do you have against monkeys, Andy? I thought you really bonded with them that one time you got locked in the zoo.
  Andy: ...so, it wasn't my most well thought-up prank. (cue Imagine Spot with Andy in the hands of a large monkey, visibly infatuated with him) Eeeengh, engh, Check, Please!!
• In The Show Must Go On, Andy is punished with being put into kindergarten. When he does a stage act where the kindergarten children pretend to hate school, as a prank, this is what happens:
  (all kids are at desks behind a curtain) Students: We are perfect little students in a perfect little school. We do everything we're told and we never break a rule. And everything is perfect, just as perfect as can be. And if you don't believe us, you can take a look and see!
  (Danny opens the curtain) Boy: Reading, writing, 'rithmetic, every day it makes us sick. We're stuck in school and can't get out.
  Kids: Here our pleas! Hear us shout!
  Andy: (dressed up as the teacher) Good morning, students. Your teacher is here. Don't be frightened. There's nothing to fear! Ready to learn? Quiet, please. Now it's time for your ABC's (clangs on makeshift instruments, the kids get up and dance).
  Girl: A,B and C, makes me happy.
  Other Boy: D,E and G. We're so gloomy.
  Yet Another Boy and Other Girl: H,I and J. Things never go our way.
  First Girl: K,L and M. I agree with them.
  Second Boy: N,O and P. I have to pee.
  First Two Boys, A Third Girl: Q,R and S. We're in distress.
  Second Boy: T,U and V. I still have to pee.
  First Two Boys, First and Third Girls: W,X,Z, please set us free!
  Andy: You forgot the letters Y and F. Why? Because you get an F!"
  First Girl: Oh no!
  Andy: So, Mr. Smarty Pants, think you're invincible? I'm just gonna have to send YOU to the principal!
  First Girl: No! No! Anything but That!! I hear he eats children and that's why he's fat!
  Jen: I've got to stop this!" (leaves chair and runs)
  Danny: (ties her up so she ends up lifting herself up over the stage.)
  (the next time the curtains open, there is a giant nightmarish statue of Principal DeRosa's head with Andy inside and Danny pushing it.
  Andy in Head: I am the principal and I must eat. Come to me and be my beet.
  Children (jump into the head, screaming).
• Busting had a few funnies.
  • Lik says "You need to buy us burgers, fries, soda and brownies from Face Stuffers, or you'll be living in Wedgie Town for the next couple of weeks." Andy then imagines a literal Wedgie Town, where people boast about their wedgies.
  • The bullies think up a before-wedgie wedgie.
  • The owner of the juice stall calls them "selfish, inconsiderate boobs" for drinking all the juice and leaving none for the others."
  • He says "Coming through! Full bladder!"
  • This conversation:
    Janitor: Out of order. All the toilets are either dead or spewing up refuse."
    Andy: (doing a Potty Dance) "That's really bad news!"
  • When he imagines cheerleaders singing the rhyme: Hold it in, do a dance, that's the way to keep dry pants! Hold it i-i-in, Andy!"
  • The things that remind him of needing to go to the bathroom:
    • A man saying to a woman, possibly his wife, cousin, friend, sister or girlfriend "I'm telling ya, water just kept comin' and comin'. So much rushing water!"
    • A child singing "A,B,C,D,E,F,G. H,I,J,K,L,M,N,O,P. P, P, what's after "P"? P,P?"
    • Andy's response: Too much... Grape Juice!
  • After telling another janitor that he can't wait fifteen minutes for the men's toilets to be cleaned or else he'll explode, the janitor says "That wouldn't be good now, would it?" and Andy replies "No, it really wouldn't." He then imagines him drinking grape juice and exploding into a sea of juice or urine or whatever and the old man diving into it.
  • His line about his Potty Emergency: "It's getting critical".
  • This Cringe Comedy scene when Lori comes along.
    Lori: "Andy Larkin? What a surprise! I was just talking with friends and we were rating everyone on a scale from 1 to 10 and guess what? You're an 8!
    Andy: (hears "urinate"). "What? Oh, hi, Lori."
    Lori: "Just shopping for an outfit for the school dance. (notices his Potty Dance and mistakes it for him being in pain) Are you OK?"
    Andy: (has the word "urinate" in his head and bends over, while doing more Potty Dancing.)
    Lori: "Are you all right? You look..."
    Andy: (is alright, but he's too embarrassed to admit he is going through a Potty Emergency) "It's been a crazy day! My belly hurts!" (continues groaning and Potty Dancing.)
    Lori: (freaking out) "Oh my gosh! You're in horrible pain! OK,OK, let's see. Do you want to sit down?
    Andy: (looks less like he's in pain but is still bent over and doing a Potty Dance)
    Lori: "No, I know, I'll go get you something to drink. A big cold drink!"
    Andy: (groans again, continues potty dancing)
    Lori: "Oh, here, try this! It's the most awesome ice tea you'll ever have. Ever. Have it. Go ahead! It'll help!"
    Andy: (thinks more drink will aggravate his Potty Emergency and isn't thirsty anyway.) "No, I can't drink that! No more" (acts scared and temporarily halts his Potty Dance)
    Lori: "OK then. You stay right here and I'll go get something else."
    Andy: (groans again, continues Potty Dancing.)
    Lori: "Stay right. Here." (runs off)
  • After the Lori scene, two boys shoot him with water guns, one of which hits him in the crotch. This prompts Lik to tease him about having had a "little accident".
  • Andy tries the "Thinking like an X" trick, but thinks like a bathroom.
  • Andy walks into a boiler room, turns a crank and a blast of water pushes him forth, his pants catch on a sign and come off, and he lands on a wooden bench, breaking it, and catapulting a grown man onto a kiddie ride.
  • Then he is on the floor, and instead of getting up, he crawls on his hands and knees, all the while, saying "Bathroom, bathroom", and he is in his underwear. This gets him some weird looks.
  • He gets knocked out and then when he wakes up, says "Did I go yet?" to a firefighter, who says that there is an "emergency situation", to which he responds "Tell me about it. I'm bustin', man!"
  • At the end, he pees on the fire. The bullies say "Hey, Larkin, you're putting out the fire. Watch where you're aiming, nature boy!"
    • And in the news, the lady calls it "natural means" and says "Way to GO, Andy!".
• In Rhyme Time, his nickname Dorkter Seuss when he is rhyming.
• ALL of the rhymes in Rhyme Time (where he has to rhyme for a week). Here are some:
  • I'm fine, I'm not exactly nervous. My mission is to replace Jervis.
  • (In history, when asked when the revolutionary war ended) "It happened in 1781, with troops led by General Washington. (Danny gives a double thumbs up) (Andy stands up) The colonists fought back and went on the attack. At York Town, the British could not retreat and soon they suffered complete defeat." (The teacher is pleased he's now interested in history)
  • (In math) "There's only one thing I know for sure. The symbol for Pi equals 3.14
  • (In Spanish, when asked to count the vegetables in Spanish, a potato, some corn, and a lettuce) "Si. U scenes tres. Paba, letciuga en maise."
  • (When Terry tries to get him to rhyme "month" while putting a pointy hat made of a paper bag on her head) "And yes, with a lisp, I will crown you a dunthe."
  • "Thank you, dear Danny. I admit it's uncanny. This rhyming brings loads of attention. Even teachers who hate me now tolerate me and I've even stopped getting detention."
  • "Hi there, Lori, how's your day? I heard you're acting in the play?"
  • "I guess it's true, my hip sidekick. I fear he's hitting on my chick!"
  • Andy: "I'm not a spy. I must protest. I'm here because I was distressed."
    Mr. Clopper: "Are you mocking me?"
    Andy: "No, dear sir, I never mock. To do so would be poppycock."
    Mr. Clopper: "What was that?"
    Andy: "What was what, I must reply, can we discuss it over pie?"
    Mr. Clopper: "Incredible, kid. You speak the speech trippingly on the tongue!"
    Jen: "No, he doesn't! He's just playing a stupid game!"
    Andy: "Oh, this is just my way of speaking. It's better than Jen's common shrieking!"
    (Jen shrieks)
• In What's With Jean Thomas?

  Danny: "What's with the posing?"

  Andy: "Can you say photoshop?"

  Danny: "Okay. Photoshop."

  • Andy is disguised as his long-lost French-speaking brother Jean-Thomas from Montreal, in order to woo Lori. Lori is not convinced it isn't Andy and asks him how to say "If you practice hard enough, you could win the Stanley Cup" in French. ^note  That would be "Si vous practiquez assez fort, vous pourriez gagner la Coupe Stanley." What Andy replies translates to "Your ears are so big, you look like the Stanley Cup". ^note  "Vous orielles sont se grandes que vous ressemblez a la coupe Stanley."
  • And at the movies, when Andy is sick of being Jean-Thomas:
    Andy in disguise: "I have to go soon."
    Lori: "So do I. It's those big drinks they serve."
• Weight to Go, Andy could get a bit Dude, Not Funny! at times, but it had its moments.
  Jen: "I can't go to the gym meet looking like a fat pig."
  Dad: "Jen, you've hardly got any meat on your bones as it is."
  Andy: "Dad's right. You're a thin pig."
  • A similar insult, when Jen calls Andy an "out-of-control eating freak", Andy replies "And you're just an out-of-control freak!"
  • When Andy says he is the fattest member of the Larkin clan, he then sees Spank and says "Well, almost."
• The settings of Andy's stink bomb in ''Emergency Spew Relish". Dog Breath, Sour Milk, Public Toilet, Garbage Dump and The Works.
  • In the same episode, he calls two thugs Humpty and Dumpty and an old lady Grandma Moses.
• When Andy has these belts in 101 Underpants, which will depants everyone. He then notices Lori's wearing one and in a rush, says to an old lady that he "must save Lori's pants!".
  Old lady: "Lori's pants? Those crazy teens with their wacky lingo. I wonder what he really meant?"
• When Andy talks about how he replaced the sour cream with shaving cream and the shaving cream with sour cream.
• In "Playing Dead", Andy starts Faking the Dead to get out of being in a dunk tank. His father sees through this and calls his bluff. By burying him.
  • After that, the family decides to take Andy's "corpse" with them, with the excuse of not letting the crows eat him... but not before stopping at Gackle Burger. What Andy's father says beforehand is a total riot, as are Andy's remarks in his internal monologues:
  Dad: "Well, I'm kind of in the mood for a double stacked Gackle Burger."
  Andy: "Gackle Burger? Gackle Burger? Who's he kidding? He doesn't even like Gackle Burger!"
  Dad: "I love Gackle Burger, so did Andy. It was his favorite restaurant! How we doing back there, son? Still dead?"
  Andy: "Ha ha! My dad's a real comedian! But now we're going to Gackle Burger, my all-time absolute favorite place to eat! How am I gonna keep from drooling all over the table?"