Funny / Walrusguy

• That WalrusGuyArchive even exists is a testament to the comedy goldmine Walrusguy's poops are. He can even make some of the darkest depths of Neon Genesis Evangelion funny: a shot of a chibi rendition of Adam's fetus? Walrusguy can make it funny. A sound clip of Shinji's voice actor screaming in pain at the top of his lungs for half a minute? Walrusguy can make it funny. The poop in question is "Puchi Eva School Shinji's Crappy Lunch", by the way.
• From Mario and Luigi Travel Through Time:
  • This line at the beginning of Part 1:
    Luigi: (Garfield's voice) I hope (regular voice) she made (Garfield's voice) lots of spaghetti!
  • "IT'S A boi!"
  • A.D. 2015: Ganon Destroys the World's Cities:
    Link: I just wonder what Ganon's up to!
    (large explosion)
    Link: (Intro to Mutant Rampage Bodyslam) RUINED THE WORLD'S CITIES (Link's "regular" voice) is what Ganon's up to!
  • In Part 2, after Mario and Luigi put up a sign that says, ALL GRAY SPAGHETTI IS CONDEMNED, DO NOT EAT IT OUR YOU WILL DIE, Mario explodes for no reason and his disembodied head flies through the air. As Dr. Rabbit prepares to set off on his world tour, Mario's disembodied head flies into his hot air balloon, popping it and causing it to fall out of the sky. Just after that, Mario is on his last life, and the description below says, BLAH BLAH.
• From "An Unimportant Announcement": "Luigi! Let go! I'll catch ya!"
• From Bowser The Foodstealer:
  ONE MONTH LATER
  Zelda: A whole month gone, and you still didn't go to America!
  Link: Oh Shit!
  LATER STILL
  Zelda: Link, you're still here!
  (Beat)
  Link: Fuck.
• The FCC Shuts Down Rock TV, particularly the end. Don't bother turning off annotations.
• Ratatouille Could Have Been Worse, a Ratatoing YTP.
  "Fu** shi* sh** ta** **** meals, you must fu** Marcell Toing!"'
• Pretty much the entirety of The Second Coming of Doctor Rabbit. These are just some parts that translate well to the written word:
  Kid: What's the matter? Lose your smile at the dentist's chair?
  Dr. Brushwell: Oh, he's just going to die.
  Kid: Cool! (shits his pants)
  Kids: Blecchhh!
  Dr. Brushwell: That's why you should limit the number of times you eat snacks between meals!
  ...
  Doctor Rabbit: ...which reminds me of a story!
  Kid: A story? Does it have LOTSA SPAGHETTI?
  Doctor Rabbit: Well, no...but it does have nudity.
  Kids: Cool!
  Dr. Brushwell: Once upon a timeSTORY OMITTED FROM TRIAL VERSION. PLEASE REGISTER WITH COLGATE UNLIMITED ACCESS TO UNLOCK ALL FEATURES.
• Arhur's Massive Throbbing Hit is just a roller coaster of Crosses the Line Twice from beginning to end.
  D.W.: Are they gonna have to amputate my arm?
  Dad: I'm in charge.
  D.W.: You're gonna amputate?!
  Dad: Okay, but we'd better get started. (holds up an ice pack)
  D.W.: That's cold.
  (Cut to Arthur and Mom in the living room as we hear D.W. screaming from off-screen as Dad cuts her arm off with a chainsaw)

  Mom: Apologize to your sister.
  Arthur: No way! She should apologize to me. (shows her his broken model penis) I worked all week on this! I told her a million times, "Stop touching the penis!" (Beat) It's kind of sideways at the end of the day.
• Dr. Rabbit singing Chef's Chocolate Salty Balls song.
• An Unimportant Announcement. ALL of it, especially the Hotel Mario scene. Only after you watch it will you realize that it was an apparent April Fools joke.
• Ninja Ninja Ninja Koopas, Believe It!
  Bowser: The Koopa f**king will come to order! (pause) Poot, heheh. (another one)
  Bender: (from offscreen) You suck!
  • "He's nude!" "And I love it, ha ha ha ha!"
  • Prince Hugo's parrot singing "Komm, Susser Todd".
  • Walrus Guy providing his own, incredibly bored rendition of the line "Squadalah, we are off!"
  • The ending, where Luigi accidentally blows up the Earth trying to turn Prince Hugo back to normal.
• Frustrated Sonic Insults the Kids
  Kids, you're not important! You're not cool! You're dumb! No one likes you! You have a problem learning how to read! If that makes you feel uncomfortable, that's too bad!
• Mama Luigi Misinterprets the Koran
  • "Hola, Dr. Rabbit!" "I'm not here!"
  • Dr. Rabbit Rick-rolling one of the kids.
    Michael: Hey, what's going on?
    Dr. Rabbit: This is Rick Astley!
  • "I am not your friend, Alejandro!"
• One More Final: I Need You(tube Poop)
  Spongebob: Let me spell it out for you. (Singing) F-U-C-K!
  • "Tell Yoshi deadtime story now!"
  • (The corpse has become bloated.)
  • "I laughed, I cried, I went POO-POO!"
• Virtual Pizz Dot Co Dot Jay Pee
  • "Hello everyone, I'm Scott, president of pizza. Have you heard of pizza? It's a food.
  • "I knew our talented Japan could work together and create great Ecchi featuring dancing pizza."
  • "I'm very cute, just like Boku no Pico!"
• Link Gets a Job at Gwonam's Restaurant So He Can Buy a Playstation 3
  • Day Two:
    Light Yagami: I'll take a potato chip.
    Gwonam: There is no potato chip.
    Light Yagami: DAMMIT!
    (During this scene, Gwonam can be seen as one of the customers at Duke Onkled's Diner.)
  • Day Four:
    Link: Buy something from here.
    Dr. Rabbit: (his image is censored due to Colgate) NO! (flies away)
    Link: Fuck you, Dr. Rabbit!
• Robotnik says the N-Word
  Robotnik: Nincombots! Metal Morons! Idiots! Robots! Salubrious rejects! You...YOU...YOU NI—
  (We are experiencing technical difficulties. Please stand by.)
  Grounder: Oooh...Dr. Robotnik said a bad word.
  Robotnik: Then allow me to repeat myself yet again! YOU ARE NI—
  (More technical difficulties)
  Tyrannosaurus Alan: You can't say that!
  Robotnik: I'm Doctor Robotnik! I say what I want! I say "PINGAS"! I say "pussy"! I say "butt"! I say "crud and sludge"! I say NI—
  (Various reaction shots of everyone mortified at Robotnik's filthy mouth... except for Dr. Rabbit who sports a huge smile)
• walrusguy where do u get the censorship beep sound effect
  • The overly-literal mother arguing with her son. "That's not funny. This is funny. (loud farting)" and then "That’s not backtalk, man. This is backtalk! Thginot trecnoc taht ot gniog tuoba tegrof nac uoy!"
    • After which, the teen mind-crushes his mother.
  • Zelda and the King make a split-second cameo in a passing car.
  • "I told me not to touch it!" (Arthur hits himself offscreen) Ow!
  • DW’s attempts to spy on an undressing woman.
    DW: By my calculations, she'll be naked in the next five minutes! (a buffering ring icon appears) ...Make that ten minutes.
    DW: I can't see! Her breasts got in the way!
  • "Dora Winif[bleep] Reed! What the [bleep] did you just say to me?"
  • The ending, where everything fades out of existence:
  Nadine: Don't worry! It's imaginary!
• The complex storyline of "Gwonam's Gweat Adventuwe" [sic],' not to mention the sarcastic deadpan humor of a man who normally just reads stuff from an old scroll.
  Gwonam: [recently revived as a chimera by Xanatos] What has science done?
  • Dino Time being GONE from theatres upsets Gwonam so much that he commits suicide.
  Gwonam: There Is No God! There is no Jesus! There is no Allah! There is no reason to keep on living! Good-Die! (jumps)
  (loud splattering noise; Link and King Harkinian look disgusted for a moment, and then...)
  Link: I guess I'd better scrub a floor. (laughter from Zelda and the King)
  • The announcer for "Dino Time" quoting Hamlet.
  To die, to sleep, perchance to dream. In that sleep of death, what dreams may come?
  • It turns out Gwonam's attempted suicide merely put him in a coma. However, when he wakes up, he witnesses Zelda with a baby (which looks like Ganon), Link with a goatee and the King having all his hair turned grey:
    Gwonam: Where am I?
    The King: In Hyrule.
    Link: You were in a coma!
    Gwonam: Oh... How long?
    The King: A month.
  • Really, everything during Gwonam's coma awakening scene counts. When Gwonam begs Link to kill him so he can return to watching Dino Time, Link informs Gwonam that his sword doesn't hurt anyone friendly... and can apparently make people sing "Baby Got Back."
    Link: (zaps himself with his sword) I like big butts, and I cannot lie.
    • How does Gwonam manage to attempt suicide again? Being a dick to Link. After all, the sword won't hurt anyone friendly.
  • After being in trapped in a soundless limbo, Gwonam is awoken by an explosion and suddenly finds himself surrounded by aliens/robots, being the last surviving memory of the human race. They are completely serious about making him happy, but all he wants is to see Dino Time, so they eventually show it to him.
  • The ending of Dino Time: For some reason, the time machine turns the Planet Earth into the deformed head of Barry B. Benson.
    Gwonam: That's it? That ending sucked!
• When Brian was killed after the infamous Life of Brian episode, Walrusguy released a video as a response entitled "If I'm Brian, I'm Dyin'" in which Momo from Magical Princess Minky Momo has Brian's head pasted over her. While he's discussing why pot was made illegal, a man comes by in a car stating that he's so high. The video then cuts to a still photo of Brian "running" from the truck in Sonic Generations to be flattened by it. The video then ended by Stewie saying 'Oh my God, he got hit by a car!' With Brian standing right behind him.
  • And then he pooped the actual scene, with such gold as:
    • The car making Mario Head's "vrmmm" as it approaches and "wheee" when it strikes Brian.
    • Brian saying "YOU KILLED ME!" after being run over.
    • This:
      Stewie: Dammit Brian, you can't die! We were gonna do so many things together!
      Brian: Masturbate, we're gonna masturbate together. (immediately dies)
• Dr. Rabbit is Racist
  • "I am Dr. Rabbit, the world's only rabbit rabbit! I am going to teach children all around the world how to keep black people away! Come along if you are not black, it's sure to be the adventure of a cracker-time!"
  • "I see you are enjoying those chips." "Really?" "No! I am going to shag you!" "Really?" "No!" "Why not? Hop on and lets go!"
  • "Will you teach me about bright smiles too?" "No no no no, you're a negro!" *Scare Chord* [bicycles away in reverse, cue "Chocolate Rain"]
  • "The Great Wall is dental floss!"
  • "Another good way to protect your permanent teeth is with semen!" "Really?" "No!"
  • "I've been taking extra good care of my butt. ... What's floss?" "I don't know!" [Beat]
• Mama Luigi Abandons Yoshi in a Supermarket
  • "No no no no, screw this crap!" [flicks through the channels; every show has a scene involving substances used in a certain activity. Often on people's faces.]
    • "Told you my penis would cheer her up!"
    • The Zelda segment:
      Link: Hey, King!
      King Harkinian: What?
      Link: I just came all over Zelda!
      King Harkinian: ...aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa—
      Link: Cool, huh?
      King Harkinian: —aaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAA
  • "Every channel except Fox turned into a hardcore sex channel so gradually, that I didn't even get a tattoo for Christmas."
  • Dr. Rabbit calls The Trix Rabbit:
    Dr. Rabbit: (upon watching a Trix commercial) Oh no! That poor, fellow Rabbit!
    (cut to the Trix Rabbit answering his phone on the left side of the screen)
    Trix Rabbit: Hello?
    Dr. Rabbit: (as he appears on the right side) Hello there!
    Trix Rabbit: Dr. Rabbit?!
    Dr. Rabbit: Rabbits should never eat Trix! It sticks to your teeth and makes plaque monsters grow!
  • The plague monsters using mook lines from Batman: Arkham City.
    Plague Monster 1: We're going to hurt you, freak!
    Plague Monster 2: Your mommy won't know who you are when we're done!
    Plague Monster 3: You're gonna die tonight!
  • The opening of that game, except everyone seems to be aroused for some reason.
    • Just when you think you've had enough of it all, Gwonam reveals his dick-shaped scroll which unfolds into the picture of a walrus nobody could make heads or tails of at the beginning.
      Link: (after studying it for several seconds) It's a Gohma!
• Ｒｏｂｉｎ. All of it.
• Miles "Tails" Prower Dies While Performing an Offensive Minstrel Routine
  • "Checking my pingas as usual, I see? ... ENOUGH!"
  • This exchange:
    Amy: I'm Amy Rose.
    Sonic: Amy, I know who you are. You're a whore.
    Amy: You might be a dick.
    Sonic: Suck my dick.
    Amy: I am fine with dicks.
  • "Scrubbing all the dishes with my dick, rubbing my dick and jizzing on all the dishes."
  • Sonic humping Amy, only for Amy to later point out that it doesn't work because Sonic has no penis. Sonic immediately goes into a Heroic BSoD afterwards.
  • In a meta sort of sense, after the controversial sweeping changes instituted by Youtube in regards to children's content, this specific poop, of all Walrusguy's poops, was singled out as being content aimed at children and handled accordingly.
• Steven Universe Summons Uncle Grandpa and Together They Confront the Blind God Yaldabaoth
  • The Flintstones watching Steven Universe porn, which is interrupted by a sudden cry of "GOOD MORNING!".
  • Uncle Grandpa stabbing Pearl through the chest with a sword.
  • Mr. Gus creating art of a pregnant Sonic on MS Paint, only for Pizza Steve to draw Ed, Edd n Eddy porn over it.
    • The artist that drew the original Ed Edd n Eddy porn? Rebecca Sugar.
  • Uncle Grandpa sinking the King's ship.
    King: Aah, my ship!
    Zelda: Father!
    Impa: Don't worry, Zelda. The Triforce of Wisdom promises the King will safely return.
    (the Triforce shows the King being rescued by a dog-faced octopus)
  • "Episode 2: The Assasination of Pizza Steve by the Coward Amethyst"
  • The aesop of the video.
    Uncle Grandpa: Remember, kids, don't be afraid to be super weird.
    Luigi: Think they'll ever learn that lesson in the real world?
    Mario: Yeah, when humans get as smart of mushrooms.
    Host: Mushroom as big as your head, with a large hat.
  • The host trying to get it on with Steven over the credits.
    Host: I think it went awfully well. So, off to my place for a bit of fun?
    Steven: I'm still grounded-grounded-grounded, you know.
    Garnet: You're ungrounded, by the way.
    Steven: NOOOOO!!!
• The Ewoks Go Mad From the Revelation That Their Show Is No Longer Canon
  • Dr. Raygar's plan? To fuck Ewoks.
  • "I am Dr. Raygar, the galaxy's only Raygar dentist."
  • This exchange when Kermit moves a bus:
    Brian Henson: Hi, I'm Brian Henson.
    Stewie Griffin: Brian Henson, look out!
    Brian Henson: For Star Wars fans and Muppet fans...
    (before Brian Henson can finish, Kermit runs him over with the bus, which is shown offscreen.)
    Stewie: Aaaah! Brian Henson!
  • This scene that occurs just afterwards:
    Kermit: So, you guys, behind this door is a brand new masturbation room just for you!
    (The room is shown to be filled with pictures of animé girls and other animé merchandise. Just then, Luke, R2-D2 and C-3PO burst into the room.)
    C-3PO: Excuse me, master Luke, but what is this strange world we've come to?
    Luke: Beats me, Threepio. Seems we've landed on some sort of... weeaboo planet.
    [cut to Darth Vader and an Imperial officer watching them on a screen]
    Officer: Aha! You see, they've come back!
    Darth Vader: They had no choice!
  • Darth Vader saying "banana" after Big Bird tries to teach R2-D2 the word.
  • "The Ren & Ren Show", owing to the appearance of two creatures that look suspiciously similar to a certain cartoon chihuahua.
  • "Warriors, attack this evil boi! HOAH!"- bonus points for the character actually looking like King Harkinian!
  • The ending:
    Kazz: For your sake, Doctor, just be happy you survived your mission.
    Raygar: But Admiral Kazz, I didn't survive my mission.
    Kazz: What?
    Raygar: [now a Force Ghost] So long, Admiral Kazz.
    Kazz: But Dr. Raygar, I love you!
    Raygar: I know. [fades away]
    ["Don't You Forget About Me" plays as Kazz sheds a tear]
• Walrus guy was really, really annoyed with a Betty Crocker commercial, so he did what he did best to it:
  "Why spend a fortune for this piece of shit. Now you can [bleep] yourself, with one hand! Just like a professional!"
  • "You must be eighteen or older to order." (For obvious reasons)
• Definitely a good season for potato chips:
  Light Yagami: I'll take a potato chip... and EAT it! and EAT it! and EAT it!
  Dr. Rabbit: I see you are enjoying those chips, but you are not doing your teeth any favours!
  Light Yagami: DAMMIT! He GOT me!
  • Light responds by writing Dr. Rabbit's name on the Death Note, causing the video to be removed by Colgate.
• It's Not a Pyramid Scheme! All Companies Are Structured Like Pyramids!
  Narrator: It's sus...It's sus...It's sus-It's summer vacation for young Dash Daniels, and his cat, Cash Caniels, and his aunt, Aunt Schaniels, and his cocker spaniels, and Ash Ketchum.
  Ash: I feel like father's going to be back soon.
  Narrator: Um...SHUSH! Dash and his aunt are digging a pit to take a shit with their behinds. When they unearth what looks like...what looks like...wew
  Chad Warden: That looks like a (sped-up Luigi voice) looks are deceiving when koopas are involved
  • Tofu, the God of Wisdom makes his appearance:
    Dash: Well I'll be a s***'s *** ***er!
    Mozart: [incredibly long, loud and distorted meow]
    Tofu: God damn, what is wrong with that cat?
• Patsy Sells Saffy to Nova Prospekt is self-described as a stream of consciousness, so it's more chaotic than his other works. A highlight is this chain of interruptions.
  Peridot: Why did the chicken cross the road?
  [Beat]
  Adam Gibson: So you can go fuck yourself.
  Billy: In the butt!
  Garfield: With a baseball bat.
  Ryan Stiles: Made outta' chocolate!
• Sylvester Eats a Tweety Bird NFT and Crashes the Crypto Market
  • The Public Bathhouse Scene from GunBuster has Jung Freud (whose fanservice parts are censored by Michigan J. Frog) suddenly dropping this line:
    Jung Freud: I know that this is out of the blue, but I want to murder the twins from the Bubsy pilot.

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