Funny / W.I.T.C.H. (2004)

• From the 2-part pilot episode:
  • We get this gem when the girls are first testing out their powers and discover that they can fly in their Guardian forms.
    Taranee: Aw, man... I hate heights! I get woozy in high-heel shoes!
  • Then Hay Lin winds up slamming face-first into the camera when testing out her flying.
  • Earlier in the episode, we get this gem of a line from Irma after Uriah gives Will a hard time
    Hay Lin: That's Uriah, ignore him.
    Irma: Yeah, evolution did. One day we expect him to slither back into the water.
• An early episode features Irma dropping a variety of sea creatures on her friends during practice. The assorted freak outs in that scene are funny enough but then this scene afterwords...
  Taranee: EE! There's something down my back.
  (Will checks.)
  Will: (sounding like Irma for some reason) Do you promise not to freak out if I tell you what it is?
  Taranee: Uh-uh.
  Will: (yanking away and tossing aside an eel which slithers down the nearby sewer) Then it was just a hair.
  (The girls go into The Silver Dragon and are greeted by a panicked Yan Lin)
  Yan Lin: Girls! I have terrible news!
  Hay Lin: That the eel down Taranee's back was poisonous?!
  Taranee: What eel?
• The Other Darrin is particularly amusing since there was no reason for it in-universe (Irma was surprisingly silent in the scene) or out (Kelly Stables plays her in every other scene), implying it was a production error that wasn't caught (or Kelly Stables missed/flubbed the line and Candi Milo redubbed it in ADR).
• In "Happy Birthday Will", Irma overhears Will's mother's super sappy pet name for her daughter and embarrasses her with it the first chance she gets. Later, at episode's end:
  Irma: Happy birthday, Pink Poopy Perky Pumpkin.
  Will: You know what would be a great present? For you to never call me that again.
  Irma: What's that, Poopy?
• The girls are deciding on whether to use the elevator to confront Cedric and Will shows the foresight that marks her as the Keeper of the Heart.
  Taranee: Why don't we just take the elevator?
  Will: You mean the elevator with the ding like a microwave telling him we're inside ready to eat?
  Taranee: Eh, you're right. Let's fly up.
• In "A Service to the Community":
  • Irma and Taranee snag what they think will be an easy community service assignment of sealing envelopes that starts to go sour after they've licked enough envelopes to affect their speech. Taranee's comment that they don't need to buy lunch is funny enough but their shock at Mr. Collins telling them about the sponge tongues they were meant to use instead and their deadpan "Okay; we suck" reaction when Hay Lin says basically the same are comedy gold.
    • And then Cornelia gets hysterical sweet revenge on her little sister for pettily turning off Cornelia's alarm after the elder refused to play with her and landing her at Lilian's day care by solving Irma and Taranee's workload for them via having Lilian and her classmates seal the envelopes without sponge tongues.
    • During Cornelia's rush to get to school and threatening Lilian, she raises her hands to gesture and her baggy pants fall down. Her underwear isn't seen since her shirt covers it, but it still undermines her moment before she pulls them up and heads out the door.
  • The girls take a battered Mr. Collins that they beat up (long story) and try to think up a cover story to explain their teacher's Clothing Damage. Cornelia has a plan that involves Collins' lizard and its lunch.
  Will: OK, we lock the door, fly out the window, have his car towed and tomorrow, we'll put the papers in his desk. He'll think he dreamed it!
  Taranee: What about his clothes?
  Cornelia: Sprinkle him with crickets and release the lizard so he thinks Mr. Scales ripped them up?
  Will: That's crazy! Do it.
  • While the girls' theories become crazier and crazier, Caleb correctly guesses what each 'sign' means. When the girls realize this after he has already left, Irma only has one thing to say: "Anyone who tells Caleb he was right is out of the group!"
• In the cartoon, whenever an Astral Drop is summoned. Hilarity Ensues.
  • The play in the show was done by the Astral Drops as opposed to the comic version and of course Hilarity Ensues. It starts with Astral!Taranee literally reading the script ("Taranee reads dramatically..."), the Dragon Dance, Astral!Will insulting Knickerbocker's clothes and the Drops and Blunk using a real water hose on the audience instead of the confetti one to Yan Lin's horror.
• "She's/He's NOT my girlfriend/boyfriend!"
• Any time animated series Caleb reacts to an Earth object/situation.
  Caleb: What's this?
  Taranee: Ice cream. You unwrap the paper and eat it.
  *Caleb exits and returns a few minutes later covered in melted ice cream*
  Caleb: This isn't half bad - but it made a real mess of my shoes.
  • Caleb and Blunk getting into Fish out of Water antics together, like hauling something up to the roof to drop it.
• The scene earlier in the 1st season episode "Stop the Presses", where Phobos goes into a maniacal Evil Laugh...while holding probably the two most girly objects ever shown in the series (Elyon's math test and hairbrush, both are very pink). It's like when a brother manages to get into his sister's diary (which, amusingly enough, Elyon's math test looks like).
  • Similarly, his Evil Laugh toward the end of "The Stone of Therebe" while holding a picture of Elyon, which sounds particularly goofy and hammy in this moment.
• In the early episode "Caleb's Challenge", the girls have been roped into making foods for the school bake sale. They get called away and leave Blunk in charge. Blunk decides their recipes are boring and makes his own. At the bake sale, the principal comes over to sample their wares and Taranee has to field describing Blunk's creations. She manages to hide the first few (calling sardine and chocolate pizza "chocolate pizza surprise" for example) but unintentionally calls the tuna cookies exactly that just as the principal bites into one of said cookies. The show closes on Blunk happily chattering about his recipes as the girls groan.
• Matt seems to be the go-to guy for girl problems, and hilarity always ensues.
  • Martin and Matt in Season 1 (The Stolen Heart). Martin wants advice on Irma, but Matt is too busy trying to figure Will out. And then:
    Matt: Wrong guy Martin, I'm still trying to figure Will out. Yesterday, she grabs me... and kisses me... and today she's like, "Get off my sidewalk".
    Martin: *chuckles* I know exactly what you mean. Er, except for that kissing part.
    Matt: I shouldn't have given up so easily. *gets up*
    Martin: *points finger to self with a smile* I find giving up is what women like best about me.
• In "Divide and Conquer", Caleb fails to understand girl logic.
  Caleb: So you don't like skiing.
  Taranee: Right.
  Caleb: And you don't like this girl.
  Cornelia: Right.
  Caleb: So you're going skiing with this girl?
  W.I.T.C.H.: Right!
• From "The Final Battle": Blunk. He can be a badass when he wants to be though. Like when he tried to take on Cedric.
  Blink: Blunk Warrior!
• In C Is For Changes Elyon isn't enjoying being queen.

  Elyon: I figured out the problem. Somewhere between East Nobear and West Nowhere it came to me. I missed the princess part of being queen! What happened to my masked ball? Where's my Prince Charming? I wanted a castle on a cloud and instead I got...
  Court official: The royal architect with his plans for sewage construction.

• All the antics caused by Mr. Huggles in D is for Dangerous, you wouldn't think one little dormouse could cause so much trouble.
• This exchange between Caleb and Cornelia in F is for Facade.
  Cornelia: What's Elyon's favorite non-fighting-evil activity?
  Caleb: Drawing, why?
  Cornelia: What's mine?
  Caleb: Erm... spelunking?
• From J Is For Jewel: Phobos and his minions were battling the Guardians, when a pissed Elyon showed up and told him she'd return him to his jail immediately. Phobos jumped on her shouting "You.Shall.Not!"... Cue Elyon slapping Phobos and his minions back to their cells while Phobos was shouting "Not!" ''without him realizing. Also, his reaction when he realized it had happened.
  • Irma gets some of the best lines in the series, such as this slice in J is for Jewel:
  Irma's Mum: Hey! How about a clam dig, all four of us; as a family?
  Irma: Yeah, I'm allergic to shellfish.
  Irma's Mum: Since when?
  *Irma's phone rings*
  Irma: Since, like, right now. *answers phone* Shellfish Allergy Anonymous, hello?
• Hay Lin hears the names of the Guardians of the previous generation, and, having Fun with Acronyms, uses their initials to name their group C.H.Y.K.N. Then she says it out loud, and has a statement to make:
  "Better witches than chickens."
• In K is for Knowledge:
  Will: [Taranee's] stuck.
  Matt: Uh, I could fill in.
  Will: No offence, but I'd rather not see you filling in her tights.
  Matt: So not what I meant.
• Thanks to Will's powers, the bewitched household items in season two are always pretty funny.
  • One moment from "H is for Hunted" stands out. After Will's Astral Drop (now a sentient clone) has helped herself to all the food in the Vandoms' fridge. The now "living" Refrigerator, who now sounds like a snooty butler is left disgusted at Clone!Will's food choices.
• Cornelia being surprisingly intelligent in L is for Loser on figuring out the Knights of Destruction draw their powers from the Guardians emotions:
  Will: Hey, since when are you "Miss Intuitive"?
  Cornelia: Perspective. I'm the only one not starring in a soap opera.
  Will and Hay Lin: This week.
• Any time after "O is for Obedience" were Caleb taunts Nerissa, his mother.
  • In D is for Dangerous, Caleb just digs his own grave when he tries to get advice from Matt about Cornelia. It could have been worded properly.
    Caleb: Okay, Mr. Show-Me-The-Ropes, why are Earth girls so... impossible?
    *Cornelia flips her hair, whacking Caleb at the back of his head*
    Matt: Dude, books have been written.
• T is for Trauma showed Will, Cornelia, Irma, and Taranee shooting unamused glares at a shape-shifted Nerissa who was currently charming all the boys sans Matt in the school. Then Cornelia accidentally gives herself a dose of Brain Bleach.
  Cornelia: (angrily) If Caleb ever looked at her like that-
  Will: EW! Hello!? Nerissa’s his mom!
  Cornelia: (shocked) Oh right! Gag!
• Cornelia and Lillian in U is for Undivided, making up "fairy tales" together.
  Cornelia: Oh, and dragons!
  Matt: No! Please, no dragons!
  Lillian: Yeah, dragons!
  • "Super Growth Powers!" Also counts as a Moment of Awesome.
    Cornelia: Fairytales don't have super growth power, this isn't a comic book.
    Matt: Excuse me, beanstalk?
  • Napoleon, the Hales' cat, turns out to be Lillian's familiar. He can talk too, which scares the crap out of Cornelia. Extra points for the Vocal Dissonance, because it's a small housecat... with the voice of Ed Asner.
• This little gem, proving that Phobos is a Deadpan Snarker in "V is for Victory".
  Raythor: *about the agreement Will just proposed to Phobos* It is beneath you!
  Phobos: Your concern is touching, Raythor, but this cell is also beneath me. And above me. And around me.
  • Phobos glamoring himself in Earth clothes. "Am I not down with my bad self?"
  • "Phobos too pretty to be destroyed!"
  • Also:
  "Phobos": Ra ra sis boom bah!
  • "V is for Victory" is comedy gold! Irma has her moments, but the real star is Phobos. Some highlights are him in science class giving Taranee a test tube of chemicals, she pours it into hers and there's an explosion! Later at lunch when Cornelia gives him a bowl of pasta, he throws it in her face! Later in the episode he gives Cornelia a piece of cake and touches her hand (he's actually Caleb in disguise). She screams bloody murder and sends the cake flying which ends up on her shirt.
• In Y Is for Yield, two of the enslaved citizens of Meridian are terrified as a slab of stone is falling on them when Phobos saves them and says: "Don't say that I never did anything for you... NOW GET BACK TO WORK!"
  • Also, Elyon and Nerissa bickering inside the Seal of Nerissa, and Yan Lin and her Altermere trying to calm them and bring harmony... Only for Yan Lin to take exception at the Altermere stealing her lines.
  Yan Lin: "Stepping on my lines, kid."
  Altermere!Yan Lin: "Because we are in harmony."
  Yan Lin: "Zip it!"
  Some discussion, then Nerissa and Elyon start bickering again.
  Yan Lin: "That, princess-"
  Both Yan Lins in stereo: "-is not harmony."
  Yan Lin to the Altermere: "Quit it!"
• In Z Is for Zenith, Irma and Hay Lin’s reactions to Cedric betraying Phobos by suddenly swallowing him.
  Hay Lin: ... Did he just...
  Irma: Swallow Phobos whole? Oh yeah.

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