Funny / Vietcong

---

Vietcong and Fist Alpha

• The gong strike that plays whenever the player fails a mission can come off as this.
• The Drill Sergeant Nasty's insults and chastises. Full stop.
• Some of the DJ's lines.
  Jukowski: Now just friendly reminder for those of you who are going for little of R&R to Saigon or anywhere else. The R&R actually means Rest and Recuperation, guys, not Rape and Rampage...
  Jukowski: Well guys, I wanted to tell you a great joke about the Marine Colonel and Green Beret Major, but some of them would be so angry that they would hunt me down and kill me, so you just have to think about what this could've been about.
  Jukowski: War news, it seems that the North Vietnamese were celebrating the fourth of July too! The fireworks were pretty impressive, but not as much as ours. Well, that's probably because the Navy helped us with their own bombardment!
• "So this is what a VC tank platoon looks like?" Said "tank platoon" is just a couple of rusted French armored cars.
• Rosenfield's reaction when he finds out reinforcements won't arrive in time during the Final Battle.
  Rosenfield: This is Six. Roger, Mountain Lair, if we have any?! Are you fuckin' crazy?! We'll hang— what in hell is this!? Shit! Oh no, that's...
• "Nice one, Hawkins!" "Outpost dead now."
• After killing the NVA colonel, Douglas drops a one-liner in a tranquil, yet annoyed tone:
  Douglas: Shut up, dammit.
• The Mexican hat that the player can wear in multiplayer, also worn by American/LLDB troops in quick-fight mode.
• This exchange between Bronson and Hornster.
  Bronson: No no, do one more circle. Can you do one more circle for me?
  Hornster: Fuck you, Bronson! Let's get the hell outta here!
• "Shut the fuck up. You're like a five year old. I'm telling you, there's no way we'll be sitting in the freakin' chopper all the time!"
• Some of Hawkins' lines if he finds a VC intel:
  Hawkins: A diploma. Probably says something like, "For Excellence In Terrorism."
  Hawkins: $100,000.00 CASH REWARD. Paid to any Green Beret who wants to join the winning side! You do not need to fight your friends, we only want you to provide information on your training and operations. (chuckles) Nice try.
• In a somewhat dark example, if Douglas steals a dead VC's money, he says:
  Douglas: Money. But it won't buy much for this Charlie anymore. War is a bitch, ain't it?
• "Fuck, this is going to be a good dust-up! Finally no skulking in the jungle, but a good old fashioned frontal assault, man, that's great! But why the FUCK are we the backup?!"

Vietcong 2

• "Excuse me! Governor Ronald Reagan has just authorized us to use atomic weapons against the sniper. Gentlemen, please start the detonation sequence!"
• Boone talking with a drunken Hawkins.
  Boone: [after talking about the events of the first game] Looks like I should get someone to help you back to your hootch.
  Hawkins: Haha, yeah. Only if they'd take me to California.
  Boone: California's better than the Benning School For Boys, or a hearse for that matter.
  Hawkins: No shit! I've got constant migraines and I've been pissing blood for a week.
  • His random muttering if you poke him:
  Damn, someone just shoot me.
  Where the hell am I, anyway?
  I'm sick of this shit.
• In a scrapped audio file, Minh can't pronounce Hornster's name after finding his dogtags.
  Minh: Some... Ho... Horn... Hornster? Strange name!
• Rigley's quarrels with Boone:
  • Their first conversation.
  Rigley: Well, well, well, who comes here? It looks like Saint Boone the protector of all the Congs?
  Boone: Fuck you, Rigley! Are you gonna fuck with me every time I turn around?
  Rigley: Bugger off the 'Nam, if you don't want me to fuck with ya!
  Boone: Piss off, Rigley. I've got better things to do than waste my time on you.
  Rigley: Don't you forget to complain about me next time you see me, fucker!
  Boone: Shut up, and go wax that old shitbox of yours!
  Rigley: You better watch your back in the field!
  Boone: Watch yours. (Beat) Oh, wait, you're never out in the field anymore. Ha!

  • The fourth line slips into Hypocritical Humor territory if you poke him.
  • Him boasting about how an elite MACV team (Boone's) needs his help...
  Rigley: Advisor pros need us to save their butts, don't they?
  Cobber: Shut the fuck up, Rigley!
  • ...only for him to need their help when his team gets pinned down by the NVA.
  Boone: Hey Rigley. Heard you've got some problems.
  Rigley: Damn it Boone, Charlie's cut us off from the rest of our unit! We're pinned down.
  Boone: Relax, the 'advisor pros' are here and there's some of your leathernecks on the way.

---