Funny / Toon Sandwich

A page for description stand-out funny moments from Toon Sandwich's trailer spoofs.

Jurrasic World

• From the very first gag shown; Owen getting his stomach sliced open by one of his raptors. And his completely calm scolding of such.

  Owen: Hey now, what did I say about disemboweling people? (Raptor rasps) No, I said don't do it.

• "Wow, she really is shy."
• In this version, the I. Rex was made by combining the DNA of a T. Rex with the brain of Ted Bundy.

  Ted Bundy's Brain in a tank: KILL KILL KILL KILL

  Owen: At the risk of sounding common-sensicle, probably not a good idea.

• The escape of the I. Rex is a little bit different in this trailer.

  Park Worker: You really think she climbed out?

  Owen: Depends.

  Park Worker: On what?

  Owen: Whether she climbed out of this wall or that one.

  • 'That one' in question just so happens so small anyone can step over it! Just like the guy who inquires about the compound usually holding a dinosaur.
• There's something about this phrase that will never not be funny.

  Owen: She's killing for sport. I hate to think what she's doing for money.

• Going after the I. Rex with everything they've got; Motorcyles. And raptors. That's it.
• When Owen's bike runs out of gas, he hops on the back of one of the raptors, singing a catchy theme song.
  • The after-credits voice over reveals, however, they essentially turn on him for it. Cue mauling with protests of having a relationship based on understanding.

Terminator

• "If we were to die tonight, that would be unfortunate, because the battle's not until next week."
• "You realize you're holding my dick right? My hand is right here?"
  • "I thought your grip was a little weak."
• When teleported to the past, Kyle ends up in a zoo.
  • Oh wait, it's not just a zoo, it's a zoo for Psychotically Violent Animals.
    Kyle: Oh of all the places!
• The reason Kyle volunteered to go back in time; he had been studying the...revealing photograph for Sarah Connor for a long while. Too bad in the newest timeline, she's not longer attracted to men.
• The ending for just how weird it is.

  Sarah: John?

  John: Hi mom.

  Sarah: How can you be here?

  John: Well, the thing is I'm actually a Terminator. (His face morphs) Spoiler alert.

  Sarah: Don't be embarrased John, I'm a Terminator too. (Rip off face revealing she is indeed one) Judgment Day.

  Kyle: Well, this is awkward because (pulls off his own face) I am Chappie. I am alive.

  John: Whoa, whoa, whoa, wasn't anybody here a real person?! What the hell was the point of all this?!

  Doctor: I'm a real person. (All three robots instantly pull out guns and shoot at him, and we do mean instantly)

Ant-Man

Hank: Scott. I’ve been watching you a while now. Or should I call you Mr I-Don’t-Wash-My-Hands-After-Masterbating?

Scott: Oh my god!

• The many, many Atrocious Alias options that Hank had for Scott aside from Ant-Man.
  Hank: Small Man
  Scott: No.
  Hank: Micro Man
  Scott: No.
  Hank: Teeny-Weenie Man
  Scott: No.
  Hank: The Shrinker
  Scott: No.
  Hank: Captain Compensating
  Scott: No.
  Scott: What? No!
  Hank: Emasculatee?
  Scott: No.
  Hank: The Dickless Wonder?
  Scott: You know what, Ant-Man has really grown on me.
  • It continues in the credits voice-over as well, starting with the spoof title Anti-Climax Man.
  Hank: How about Anti-Social Man?
  Scott: No.
  Hank: Anti-Depressant Man?
  Scott: No.
  Hank: Anti-Inflammitry Man?
  Scott: No.
  Hank: Anti-Semantic Man?
  Scott: That’s just racist!
  Hank: Antiseptic Man
  Scott: Mm, could have applications.
  Hank: Anti-Matter Man?
  Scott: Hey, now you’re talking!
  Hank: Anti-Perspirant Man?
  Scott: Stop talking.
• In talk, when shrunk down, Scott should be liked a bullet. In practise, he gets squished easily by a guard whilst ineffectively punching the side of his neck.
• Scott’s attempt to bluff Yellowjacket is easily seen through.
  Yellowjacket: Now, it's going to blow up in your face. And destroy everyone you care about.
  Scott: But the only person I care about is you.
  Yellowjacket: Nice try. (Squashes Scott beneath his boot)

Batman vs. Superman

• This entire spoof is different from the get-go. It's no longer even Batman versus Superman...it's Batman Loves Superman, featuring the two superheroes actually being a couple. The commentary over the first half even treats the whole thing like a celebrity romance!

  Batman: Tell me...do you bleed?

  Superman: No I don't. ''(He lands and there's a sickening crunch) Oh, I broke my ankle! That's a lot of blood!

• This lover's quarrel;

  Superman: Why is there kryptonite in your armory?

  Batman: Why right do you have to go through my stuff?

  Superman: Don't change the subject! Why do you have this?

  Batman: Oh, so I'm not allowed to have any secrets? Every time I ask you about you're past, all I get is cyprtic response.

  Superman: That's because I'm from Krypton!

  Batman: Look, this isn't working. I think we need to spend some time apart. (With a face that just screams Tranquil Fury, Superman crushes the canister of kryptonite whilst his eyes flicker red. Batman audibly gulps at this.)

  Superman: I may be the Man of Steel...but you just turned my heart to stone. ''(Flies and smashes his way up through the numerous floors above the bat cave with a heartbroken wail.)

  Alfred: (Poking his head over the broken floor) I'll call the builder shall I sir?

• Batman eventually meets back up with Superman nine months later...and to his horror finds out Superman gave both to their baby.
  • What sells this is the massive happy grin on Superman's face when he tells Bruce.
    • When we get a look at the baby, it looks like a bat with Superman's logo on its chest. Batman is weirded out (no surprise) already, but what he's confused by is that it has wings, since he's not an actually bat or vampire. And on cue, Dracula appears and asks Superman why he hadn't been returning any of his calls for nine months. Batman gives a deadpan glare at Superman, who admits he has a bat fetish.

Captain American Civil War

• The first two goddamn lines;

  Captain America: Buck. Do you remember me?

  Bucky: Your mom's name was Sarah. And you used to wear her clothes and makeup.

  Captain American: (very quickly) He doesn't remember me, he's confused, it's classic amnesia.

• Cap tells Bucky that a SWAT Team is coming, and not to take him alive. Bucky laments he wishes a SWAT Team would take him as he is.
• Ross tells Captain America that many call him hero, vigilante and, himself included, heartbreaker.

  Cap: Ew.

• Tony says sometimes he wants to punch Cap in his "perfect teeth". And he does.
• Black Widow and Captain America:

  Black Widow: Do you really want to punch your way of this?

  Captain American: I would never punch a smoking hot babe. Maybe I can spank my way out of it? (Black Widow guns him down) Ah, I deserve that!

• "Check it out, it's Black Panther." (Hiss) "And the Pink Panther." ('Ello.)
• "JARVIS, unfriend Captain America."
  • "Hurts doesn't it?"
• At the very end, Bucky and Steve are hitting Tony repeatedly whilst he goes "Ow," until finally deciding two against one is unfair odds. So he blasts Bucky's entire upper body away with a single pulse. Tony dares Cap to continue, only the First Avenger to remain frozen in shock and horror.
  • "What?"

Captain American Civil War #2

• That's right; so many jokes for one movie couldn't be contained in just one!
• Ross solemnly explains that people are afraid...and then gets spooked by a spider.
• Tony's opinion on the matter and Steve's response;

  Tony: We need to be put in check.

  Steve: (Wearing a god-awful checked shirt) I am in check.

  Tony: No I mean- (Beat) What. The. Hell are you wearing?

• A brilliant callback;

  Tony: Sometimes I want to punch you in your perfect-

  Steve: Stop. We did this in the last trailer and you punched me in the face. So you can't do that again. (So Tony kicks him in the face) Ow, my perfect teeth!

• Rhodes falling has a few gems;
  • Tony has to do a quick Double Take before realizing Rhodes is falling.
  • When he calls out his name, Friday instead pulls up a map of several roads which is loaded with Marvel puns.
  • Tony pulls off Rhodes' mask to reveal...Leonardo de Caprio, who explains he's the Man in the Iron Mask. Tony promplty slams the mask back into place and starts welding it against the armour.
• Two sentences that perfectly summarize every superhero movie, period.

  Captain America: This doesn't have to end in a fight Tony.

  Iron Man: What, are you kidding? This is a Marvel movie. Cheap shot! (Whacks Cap)

• Iron Man declares a war has started...and his helmet clamps shut around his lips.
• Black Panther claims only curiosity can kill him. When he wonders what that actually means, his neck abruptly snaps.
• How does Iron Man deal with Ant-Man? With a Venus Flytrap named Planthony.

  Iron Man: And they called you a waste of money.

• Cap claims he can fight Iron Man all day. A 24-hour jump forward occurs to show Tony standing in front of Cap's grave and reveals he only actually lasted 17 seconds.
• At the end, both teams are charging towards each other-and they all collided and bounce off, save for Ant-Man who didn't have anyone to run straight at.

  Ant-Man: Huh. Guess we have the numbers. Huzza!

X-Men: Apocalypse

• Rather than the Four Horsemen, Apocalypse’s minions are likened to the Backstreet Boys
• Professor X: Oh, Apocalypse…I was just trying to give you a friendly fist bump.
  • “Ah! I can’t feel my legs! Beat Not that that’s anything new.
• ”The students look up to you. Well, apart from that guy.”
  • It’s both figurative and literal!
    • ”Hey Hunger Games, where’s your bow?”
• Not the best advice to tell a powerful mutant…

  Cyclops: Not all of us can control our powers.

  Mystique: Then don’t. (And Scott shears off the top of her head with a laser blast) I’d like to revise my previous statement.

• ”Apocalypse means to destroy this world! How did I not see this coming it’s all right there in the name!
• Mystique tells the X-Men nothing they know matters anymore. And so Nightcrawler forgets how to defeat Apocalypse.
• The cheaper option to Wolverine; Knife-Knuckle Man.
  • ”You suck Knife-Knuckle Man!”

Doctor Strange

• ”Stephen Strange. Might I offer you some advice? Forget everything you think you know. Especially when it comes to driving.”
  • An appropriate piece of advice, considering Strange apparently smashed through several ‘’Stop’’ and ‘’Wrong Way’’ signs.
• ”You’re a man looking at the world through a keyhole. Just open the bloody door.”
• At first, there seems to be a Match Cut of Past!Strange and Present!Strange. Turns out there isn’t.
  • ”Bro! Get your dirty hands off my window!”
• Whilst on a gurney, Strange has been labelled a Lost Cause.
• ”I don’t believe in fairy tales about chakras, or energy, or personal hygiene.”

Justice League

• ”How come none of you guys came to me mum’s funeral but when Hagrid’s stupid shield gets dented you’re out in force?”
  • ”Silence!”
• Like before, Batman throws a batarang at Barry…only it turns out to be the wrong Barry, as in their twin brothers with the same name except one was blessed with super speed!
  • The Flash!Barry’s other identical brother gets his head blasted off by a Parademon shortly afterwards.
• Batman and Cyborg;

  Cyborg: I’ve heard about you. Didn’t think you were real.

  Batman: I’m real when it’s useful.

  Cyborg: Well…is it useful now?

  Batman: Hmm…nah! (Vanishes like a cloud of smoke)

  Cyborg: Wuh?! Batman? Where’d you go?

  Wonder Woman: Cyborg? Who are you talking to? (Screen zooms in on Cyborg as X-File music plays, and his eye and forehead light turn into buffering symbols)

  Cyborg: Does not compute.

• Bros before Nemos.

Rogue One

• "Forgery of Imperial Documents, possession of stolen property, assault with a deadly ball droid, impersonating an Ewok...but enough about me, let's talk about your crimes."
• Mon Mothma using Reverse Psychology to exploit Jyn's constantly rebelling nature so she can steal the Death Star plans.
• What's the firing area of the Death Star in this? A giant plug to stop a leak.
• Detailed blueprints of the Death Star...really aren't, considering one outright describes its weakness.
• A jump into Hyperspace is cut short by an .exe failure.
• "I'm putting a team together. The worst of the worst of the most pitiful losers. I want you to be our captain."
  • "I am both honoured and extremely offended!"
• "I fear nothing. All is as the force wills it. (Stick breaks as he hits a trooper). Oh, thanks Force! Thanks a bunch! (Promptly gets gunned down).
• The closing lines;

  Jyn: Are you with me?

  (The crew rise to their feet).

  Bodhi: All the way.

  K-2S0: Speak for yourself you horny bastard. I want to get off!

  Jyn: Well you can't. The door's already closed.

  K-2SO: Then why did you ask if we don't actually have a say in the matter? You just wanted some validation, didn't you? Just wanted a big scene. Well I hope you all realize we're flying to our deaths just so Miss-Rebel-Without-A-Cause can satisfy her hero complex.

  Jyn: You're a droid! You can't die.

  (Whole crew gasps in shock)

  K-2SO: You flagrant droidist! You're all witnesses.

  Bodhi: Jyn. That's really not cool.

Logan

• Logan is pretty much a Functional Addict throughout the entire thing, indulging in everything from beer, cigars to weed.
• The Show Within a Show comic of the X-Men features them trying to give Wolverine an intervention, only for him to keep drinking, much to their horror. Explains why he can't remember a whole lot of it. Why Laura explains she only brought it for Cyclops, Logan shreds it with tight-lipped pettiness.
• Laura turns out to have much more than two knives in her hand, much to Pierce's dismay.
  • "(Harpoon) No. (Corkscrew) No! (Scissors) No way! (Fork) Noooo! (Spatula) Oooh, no. (Whisk). Nah! (Potato masher) Niente! (Hammer) Nein! (Kylo Ren's lightsaber) Oh hell no!
• Laura resents being compared to Logan, especially since he jolts away from a drunken snooze and digs out earwax with his claw.
• Laura is confused at why Logan looks so rundown, since his healing factor should prevent him from aging, and inquires why he doesn't look more like a portrait of his young self. Logan suddenly morphs straight back into his younger self, the picture taking on his old form.

  Laura: So you're like a reverse Dorian Grey.

  Logan: Aw great! Now I'll have to make another nine movies! Thanks a lot kid!

  • Hilarious In Hindside, considering Jackman's return in the third Deadpool movie.

The Batman

• It's subtle, but the Riddler's message to Batman includes his return address.
• Alfred is pretty much a clingy butler towards Bruce and is very envious of him involved with other people throughout the video. Bruce himself lampshades this.

  Bruce: Get off my back, Alfred! You're not the only person in my life! God!

• Batman and Alfred talk over the Riddler's letter to the former.

  Alfred: Why's he writing to you?

  Batman: We're just friends, Alfred. You know it wouldn't kill you to write me a letter every once and a while.

  Alfred: (gasps) How dare you.

• When the Riddler forces Oil Colson to crash the mayor's funeral with the bomb attached to him, Bruce has different concerns on his mind.

  Bruce: (internally) Dang. It's gonna take me five minutes to apply my eyeshadow and by then this poor bastard's gonna be all over the place.

• Batman takes note of the ridiculous amount of cats at Selina Kyle's apartment once they start urinating on his boots, which she passes off as a coping mechanism for her fear of dying alone.
  • At one point he even has to catch himself after slipping.
• This conversation between the "couple":

  Selina: Who are you under there?

  Batman: That's the "man" part, baby.

  Selina: (visibly disturbed) Okay...

  Batman: Who are you under there? (Selina slaps him in response) OW! What the hell?!

• "I've been trying to reach you. But Alfred keeps screening my calls."
  • "DAMN IT, ALFRED!"
• The scene involving the car chase is this nonstop.

  Alfred: Sir, Selina Kyle just called to ask you to dinner. I told her to keep her mangy mitts the hell away from us and hung up.

  (Cue Batman roaring out of anger and driving headfirst into a truck, seemingly dying in the resulting explosion)

  Penguin: I GOT YOU! (laughs) I GOT YOU!

  (Camera pans to the left and reveals Batman casually blowing out a smolder on his cape in the passenger seat)

  Batman: You sure about that, Happy Feet?

  (Penguins screams in horror just he's knocked out by the Dark Knight's fist)