Funny / Toho Kingdom Toons

• The Two Toho Monsters Review A Non-Toho Movie (later called Kaiju Kritics, spelled with two k's because "it's funny") are chock full of these.
  • Their review of Valkyrie, which includes a scene that parodies Hogan's Heroes and Tom Cruise speaking gibberish and saying "Katie Holmes" over and over again.
    • "It...appears that you are describing an episode of Hogan's Heroes."
  • Gabara and Monster X's nonsensical rating system. "Something out of something!"
  • During one short, Gabara wants to review The Many Adventures Of Winnie The Pooh while Monster X wants to review a Godzilla movie. The result? Destroyah The Pooh!
  • Monster X reviewing The Godfather trilogy. "The Godfather. Absolutely Hilarious! The Godfather II. Even funnier! The Godfather III. Not Coppola's best work, but a decent comedy nonetheless."
    • Gabara deciding to Answer The Call because he feels Monster X is making a mockery of....something.
    • "GABBY WANT CALZONEY!"
  • "And that time my entire herb garden was decimated by a winter frost. Why did I plant it in September?"
  • Monster X and Gabara trying to out-annoy one another. Long story short, it involves Monster X playing the harmonica and Gabara playing the banjo.
    • "MY NAME IS GABARA! MY NAME IS GABARA! MY NAME IS GABARA!
  • The James Bond review and the parody scene they do. "AHH! I'm a pie!"
  • Godzilla and Anguirus trapping Gabara and Monster X in a prison cell by luring them there with bon-bons...Oh, and Skeleturtle is trapped there as well.
  • "And then there was that time we OD'd on Pixie Stix!"
• One cartoon parodies Destroy All Monsters. It's downright hilarious, especially when they poke fun at an infamous I Am Not Shazam moment that occurs in the film.

  News Anchor: Baragon in Paris, France.

  Gorosaurus: WHAT!?!

• Gabara's blind-date with Biollante.
  • "Did I just see Kirby and Meta-Knight fighting outside my window?! Seriously, am I going crazy?"
  • Gabara having to deal with an annoying little kid three-year old giant condor.
  Giant Condor: Hi, mister! What's your name?
  ''Gabara': (Annoyed) Gabara.
  Giant Condor: My name's the Giant Condor.
  Gabara: (Mutters) That's a stupid name.
  Giant Condor: I'm only 3 1/2 years old.
  Gabara: (Sarcastically) How wonderful.
  Giant Condor: My favorite show is Yu-Gi-Oh!.
  Gabara: How terrible.
  Giant Condor: Sometimes I wish I was Yugi so I could fight crime.
  Gabara: That's not what Yugi does.

• The recent cartoon "Sexy Grandpa" is full of these.
  • "I like my sombreo!"
  • Keizer Ghidorah's cameo. "I didn't order pepperoni!"
  • Kiryu being absolutely unconvincing while being disguised as Godzilla. "Do-de-do". Doing a little rampaging! Might go to the deli later!"
    • "See, my heat ray is no different from before!"
  • Anguirus pointing out how bad Kiryu's disguise is.
    • "I'm, like, 73% cetain that you're not the my greatest friend in the whole wide world, man. Dude, I can totally see one of your mechanical arms."
    • "What disguise? I ain't no doppleganger! Now, give me your jaw."
  • The line between Godzilla and Kiryu is quite funny as well. "Hey, Dad, whatcha doin'?"
  Kiryu: (Firing beams wildly while completely missing Godzilla) I'm out-classing you!
  Godzilla: "You're not even hitting me."

• Bagan's nonsensical story in the episode "Squeegee"-
  Bagan: I wanted the prettiest of pretty ponies. But me mother. She no give me the prettiest of pretty ponies. Instead, she gave me the manliest of manly stallions.
  • "No, no, no no no no no! Not him."
    • And Gabara's reaction. "Who? Tell me tell me tell me tell me tell me!"
  • "Well, first I dabble in cryptozooology." "CLOSE ENOUGH!"

• The recent episode "Woo" is filled with several gems including-
  • The Showa-Era Gigan being a complete Trekkie even going so far as to make his own web series.
  • Bagan pointing out that Gigan will never find love, due to Gigan's nerdines, only for the Millennium-Era Gigan to show up and fall in love with him...And she's also a Trekkie.
  • The female Gigan showing the male Gigan some fanart she drew.
  Showa Gigan: Wait, what's Captain Sulu doing with his first mate?
  • "If she wants to shave her hair, let her. That chick from The Eurythmics was hot!"
  • "You have entered the threshold into what I like to call the "Run-Away-And-Never-Look-Back zone"."
• the toon "Illex" involves a sociopathic Celebi. long story short, Monster X and Biollante adopt her.
• the Toon "Kimchi", focusing on Monster X babysitting Celebi, is also filled with gems including:
  • Celebi's aformentioned sociopathic behaviour.
  • this exchange:
  Gabara: is that Celebi?
  Celebi: is that a PATRONIZING ADULT?
  Gabara: yes, yes it is.
  • Celebi falling asleep as Blankie falls on her.
  • Gabara mentioning sending Monster X' Aunt Bee some "questionable material".
  • Gabara, again, confusing R-rated movies with G-rated movies.
• The cartoon Eleventy Googolplex Ducks is a rather humorous song about a ridiculous amount of ducks. Especially the "Black Hole Duck".
  "He's stronger so much stronger than almost any other type of duck! He went to Monster Island and fought Godzilla but he still lost because...well, it's Godzilla folks. Duh!"

• The toon The Heisei Toon is a humorous abridged look at the Heisei era of Godzilla films. But, the icing on the cake of hilarity can be summed up in five words- Godzilla on a pogo stick.

• Nyan Deutalios. Just Nyan Deutalios.
  People who come from far and wide
  Know me as litte Deutalios
  I can now apparently fly
  And leave a trail of pretty rainbows
  Star shine as I pass by
  At many times "c"
  As I wiggle my toes
  My favorite cartoon of all time
  Is Film/Hoodwinked with the lovely Glenn Close
  Deutalios and the trails of rainbows
  And I'm wiggling my toes
  And the lovely Glenn Close
  And a dose on my nose of a rose from a Lowe's
  And some crows with a hose
  I suppose someone knows
  A show 'bout yo-yo's with some Bose speakers, bros
  And I chose how it goes
  And it sews my new clothes!
  The lovely Glenn Close and I'm wiggling my toes
  And the trails of rainbows and Deutalios
  HAH!

• The fan mail segment at the end of "How Curly Fries Are Made" has a viewer asking if any Series/Ultraman or Neon Genesis Evangelion characters would ever appear in the series. Cue Godzilla coming into the Kaiju Kritics studio dressed as Jirass (a monster in the origina Ultraman series created from two Godzilla suits with an added frill). The Evangelion part is met with indifference.

• "Totally Kaiju Toons vs. Godzilla: King of the Monsters (2019):
  • Godzilla has just finished imprisoning King Ghidorah in ice, when TK-Tan (a human OC who's like a mix between Konata and Trope-Tan) starts thawing him with a hairdryer. She claims it's "something about the environment" (which was the motive of the human villains in the film), before admitting she just thinks Ghidorah is cool.
  • Godzilla decides he'll have to go "LEGENDARY" in order to beat Ghidorah. He's then shown in Flash, being widened.
  Godzilla: Wider. A little bit wider. Too wide!
  • Rodan initially tries to dissuade TK-Tan from thawing Ghidorah, before reasoning that Ghidorah's a cool guy, and later practicing his bow (referencing Rodan's Face–Heel Turn in the film). Godzilla, on his part, accuses him of being a "Toadying Little Lickspittle".
  • The Stinger, which references how Dr. Vivienne Graham was eaten alive by Ghidorah:
  (Ghidorah flies up to Dr. Graham. The shot then cuts to Gillman.)
  Gillman: My girlfriend is in trouble!
  (Gillman teleports to Graham and Ghidorah's location...just in time to see Graham sucker punch Ghidorah away.)
  Gillman: And THAT'S The Shape of Water. A fist. It's fist-shaped.

• "Totally Kaiju Toons vs. the Sexiest Kaiju":
  • Baragon and Bagan have a "Sexy-Off" to determine who is sexier.
  • This gem from Baragon:
  Baragon: There. Now half the audience is checking Wikipedia to see if I'm single, while the other half is desperately hoping the teacher won't call them to the front of the class.
  • Millennium Gigan gets involved in the Sexy-Off by rapping, which is followed by this exchange:
  Baragon: Wait, why is leather sexy?
  Millennium Gigan: I don't know. Maybe people are secretly attracted to dead bovine or something.
  • Bagan is so sexy, he actually causes Baragon to blow up.
  Bagan: Oh, no! Mr. Scott, please reconstitute mi amigo caido!
  Baragon: No need. It was just a special effect.
  Bagan: So, did I win?
  Baragon: Yeah, you won.
  ''(Camera pans right to show Rodan has been watching.)
  Rodan: Your Majesty! Braaaa...
  Godzilla: Would you cut that out!?
  • In The Stinger, Deutalios sings a cover of "Everybody Wants to be a Cat", only for Kamoebas to stop him by pointing out Godzilla and Mt. Fuji did the same joke years ago. Then Bagan receives an unwelcome visitor:
  TK-tan: Oh my gosh, is that Bagan!?
  Bagan: Oh, no! Go away!
  TK-tan: Wait! I love you, sempai!
  Bagan: Please go away!
  TK-tan: Why are you never in anything!?

• "Totally Kaiju Toons vs. the Anime Trilogy"
  • Godzilla basically sums up the entire Godzilla Anime Trilogy:
  Godzilla: Rawr! I'm all sorts of here in the distant future, and I'm really enormous! And all of your favorite kaiju are silhouettes. Oh! And I'm also moving really slowly.
  City!Kiryu: Hi, son!
  Godzilla: Oh! Hi, Dad City!
  • In The Stinger, Miana hates that the Houtua language doesn't have a word for hate, which Dogora finds to be a compelling news story.
  Miana: "Hate". We don't have a word for hate. And I HATE that!
  Dogora: What a scoop!

• "Totally Kaiju Toons vs. the Season 8 Cliffhanger"
  • The fan who inquired about the presence of Ultraman and Evangelion characters in "How Curly Fries Are Made" strikes again (under his YouTube username), this time asking about what happened to Celebi. Celebi Z and Mewtwo then proceed to give a play-by-play of what happened after the cliffhanger in Season 8 of Toho Kingdom Toons, and it's veeeery complicated, involving Discord, a Shedinja, Chimeric Bagan (from the early drafts of The Return of Godzilla, not to be confused with regular Bagan), the signature technique of Godzilla's wife, and Derpy Hooves. The Stinger sees Maguma declaring Totally Kaiju Toons is free from the guilt of an unnecessary cliffhanger. That's right, this one fan guilt-tripped Miles into tying up a loose-end five years after the fact.
    • Miles stated in the comments that he had to look up how to pronounce "Evangelion".

• "Totally Kaiju Toons vs. the REAL Problem with "Godzilla vs. King Ghidorah" (1991)" sees Miki immediately out the Futurians' plot because she's psychic.

• "Totally Kaiju Toons vs. the Psychic Dreams" parodies the scene in Godzilla vs. Biollante where Asuka asks the children to draw what they dreamed of. Turns out they dreamed of the entire Heisei series, much to Asuka's horror. Miki, after singing the Godzilla theme, notes that the children have predicted as far as 1995, and that she got as far as 1998, holding up a drawing of Matthew Broderick. Rodan then appears and complains that the Mechagodzilla depicted in the drawings is Kiryu, not Mechagodzilla 2, to which Kiryu asks that Rodan accept that the toons run on a different timeline. Rodan chooses to continue complaining.

• "Totally Kaiju Toons vs. HEWEY!" sees Monster X and Gabara gush over Totally Kaiju Toons fan Hewy Toonmore...and saying he's better than Huey Toonless (Hewey Duck with a cape, cane, monocle, and handlebar mustache), who has committed innumerable Poke the Poodle stunts.

• "Totally Kaiju Toons vs. MUTO♂" sees MUTO♂, who is an Expy of "Crocodile" Dundee, confronting Godzilla and Little Godzilla on the street. He constantly screams that various objects are inadequately-sized knives.
  MUTO♂: THAT KNIFE. IS INADEQUATELY. SIZED!!!!
  Hedorah: This isn't a knife...it's a Baragonsie-Onesie Doll.
  (Hedorah holds up a doll of Baragon with a pacifier and a diaper)
  Baragonsie-Onesie Doll: Goo-goo! I just soiled my diapie. Clean up on "Aisle Cute".
  MUTO♂: Good on ya.
  • MUTO♂ then proceeds to call Little Godzilla an inadequately-sized knife, and glares at Skeleturtle as he walks by.
  • He thinks Bellevue Hill in New South Wales is a rough neighborhood, but Rodan points out that Bellevue Hill is actually the wealthiest part of Australia. MUTO♂ considers himself poor because he couldn't afford a third yacht.
  • He calls something an inadequately-sized knife a third time when TK-Tan shows up with a net she got from the Black Hole Aliens. After she catches him and walks away, Godzilla assures his son that they don't have to visit Australia.
  • In The Stinger, it's revealed that TK-Tan dragged MUTO♂ back to his wife, a call-back to "Totally Kaiju Toons vs. MUTO♀" where TK-Tan wanted the MUTOs to recreate the "passing the warhead" scene from the 2014 film, and MUTO♀ tried offering to do it with Varan, who was most uncomfortable until admitting she is incredibly sexy. Miles then admits he has no idea why he made MUTO♂ Australian.