Funny / Time Bandits

• The trailer has nothing to do with anything in the movie, and that's why it's just as hysterical.
  Narrator: Yes, it's the makeup: folks, you've never seen nothing like it! Men made up to look like monsters! Monsters made up to look like men! Look-alike men made up to look different! Different men made up to look alike! No expense has been pared- spared- on the pan-schtick- pan-stick- no expense has been spared flying in the world's greatest make-up men!
  Producer: Just a minute, just a minute. What about the plot?
  Narrator: ...the what?
  Producer: The plot. What the film is about.
  Narrator: Well, I haven't seen it, have I?
  Producer: "Haven't seen it"?! You're sitting there telling millions of people to go and see a film you haven't even seen?!
  Narrator: Well, I can't see every film I do, now, can I?
• This exchange:
  Randall: I can't control it!
  Evil: Of course you can't, you silly little man! I control them!
• And this one:
  Evil: Oh, Benson... Dear Benson, you are so mercifully free of the ravages of intelligence.
  Benson: Oh, you say such nice things, Master.
  Evil: Yes I know, I'm sorry!
• Anything that has to do with "Your Money or Your Life".
• The Supreme Being's answer to why there is evil.
  Supreme Being: I think it has something to do with free will.
  • Supreme Being: Well, of course. I am the Supreme Being, I'm not entirely dim .
• The entire bit with Napoleon, a short angry man obsessed with everyone's height. "That's what I like! Little things... HITTING EACH OTHER!"
  • (Being surrounded by his tall generals) "Don't do that to me! It's like being down at the bottom of a bloody well!"
  • The historical Brick Joke about why Napoleon always posed for paintings with one hand shoved inside his military uniform. It's a solid gold artificial limb, which the bandits rip off after they get him drunk. And Kevin's stunned reaction finding out.
• John Cleese's scene-stealing turn as Robin Hood.
  Robin Hood: Thank you very much! Thank you very much. Thank you very very very VERY much! What awful people.
  • Robin Hood: And you're a robber too. How long have you been a robber?
    Strutter: Four foot one.
    Robin Hood: Good lord! Jolly good. Four foot one? Well that, that, that is a long time, isn't it?

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