Funny / The Tudors

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• Usually Henry roaring something along the lines of "I'm the King of England!" is either awesome or terrifying. But in "Look To God First", where first his request that Catherine accept the alternative to an annulment and then his professions of love and hope for their future to Anne are rejected, all it sounds like is him going "Oh, COME ON! Can't ONE thing go right for me?
• Thomas Wyatt telling Thomas Cranmer: "A poet is the least of my sins. You can take my confession after supper." Then Thomas Cromwell chimes in with: "I wouldn't, it would turn your hair white."
• An exchange between Wolesley and his secretary:
  Wolsey: "Have you been keeping an eye on my affairs?"
  Secretary: "Like an eagle."
  Wolsey: "Don't be an eagle. They soar too high. Be a pigeon. And shit on everything."
• "Go back to your wife!"
• The entire scene with Cranmer, Cranmer's wife, and Cromwell. Seriously, just watch it and try and keep a straight face.
  • Especially Cromwell's increasingly amused and somewhat horrified reaction as Katerina berates Cromwell for being too slow with regards to the reformation and her absolute hatred on anything Catholic. After that long speech, she then turns to Cranmer and drops the following line:
    Katerina: Now, you can put me back in my box.
    • And she meant this literally, as the next scene we see Cranmer nervously looking around the carriage as we see the same crate used to smuggle her to England is lashed tightly at its back.
• Pope Paul III greeting the news of more developments with Henry's schism with "Oh, that again."
  • Peter O'Toole's bone dry delivery is magnificent — oh, how we will miss him!
  • Similarly, in Season 4, the French ambassador is asked how the King of France reacted to Henry divorcing his fourth wife. The ambassador claims his master said nothing, just rolled his eyes and groaned. It seems all of Europe is sick of Henry's marital woes.
• During the Season 2 finale, Cromwell and one of his clerks are discussing the costs of Anne Boleyn's execution and those of the men accused of adultery with her, looking for all the world like two office workers stuck doing the books after their colleagues have gone home for the day. For added hilarity, Cromwell has his shoes off and his feet on the desk.
  Cromwell: How much did they charge for the scaffold?
  Clerk: Twenty one pounds, 10 shillings.
  Cromwell: [scoffs] Daylight robbery! What's the headsman to be paid, if he ever arrives?
  Clerk: Er, fifteen pounds.
  Cromwell: [stunned] Fifteen pounds?! For one stroke?! [The clerk shrugs his shoulders and Cromwell shakes his head in incredulity] My God, he makes a damn good living!
• Henry's temper tantrum when he sees Anne of Cleves, storming through the palace screaming "I like her not!" and "She looks like a horse!" Made even funnier by the next scene of Thomas Cromwell and John Hutton trying to blame each other for the debacle.
  Cromwell: Your Majesty will remember that it was Sir John who described her as being like a...
  Hutton: I never saw her properly, which was not my fault! I carried out my commission as best I could, and I told you I was no good with women!
• After being knighted into the Order of the Garter, one of the highest prestiges in British society, the Earl of Surrey goes into a lower class tavern...still in full regalia and starts drinking.
  Tavern patron: [seeing the Earl in his full attire] JESUS CHRIST!
  Earl of Surrey: Not quite.
• During the Siege of Bologne, Charles Brandon arrives with his men to help drive off a French patrol skirmishing with the Earl of Surrey, who thanks Brandon but insists he didn't need the help. Suddenly, there's a war cry and French reinforcements attack.
  Charles Brandon: Shall I let you handle them?
• The look of utter terror on Thomas Wriothesley's face when he shows up to enact a royal warrant to arrest Catherine Parr for heresy...only for Henry to explode in outrage, roar his head off at Wriothesley and then order the man out of his sight. It's quite clear, and bloody hilarious to see the realisation on Wriothesly's face that he ''really' fucked up.

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