Funny / The Terminator

There's no need for proper manners around here.

• The amused punks teasing the naked Terminator in the beginning:
  Punk leader: Nice night for a walk, eh?
  Terminator: Nice night for a walk.
  Punk 2: Wash day tomorrow! Nothing clean, right?
  Terminator: Nothing clean. Right.
  Punk leader: Hey, I think this guy's a couple of cans short of a six-pack.
  Terminator: Your clothes. Give them to me. Now.
  Punk leader: (flicks out a switchblade) Fuck you, asshole!
• The hobo complaining to the police that someone (Kyle Reese) stole his pants.
• Traxler's Your Mom comeback after Vukovich casually insults his looks.
• The Terminator's Dialogue Tree options to respond to the landlord complaining about the smell, from which this exchange occurs:
  Landlord: Hey, buddy! You got a dead cat in there or what?
  [The Terminator turns its head to face the door, and pulls up a dialogue tree with a list of potential responses: "Yes/No"; "Or what?"; "Go away"; "Please come back later"; "Fuck you, asshole"; and "Fuck you". After a few seconds, it selects "Fuck you, asshole"]
  Terminator: [deadpan] Fuck you, asshole.
  • Doubly so when you remember those were the last words of one of the aforementioned punks (the one played by Bill Paxton). Indicating the Terminator learned that phrase shortly after arriving... and decided this was the appropriate moment to use it.
  • A small one, but the landlord's response to this? A nonchalant shake of his head.
• As if to top off the above scene, as the Terminator leaves the hotel, stoically walking through the hall armed with a large rifle, a man passing by exclaims, "God dayum!"
• Ginger's boyfriend Matt calls their apartment and Sarah answers the phone. Thinking that Ginger has answered, Matt starts having phone sex with her, whispering, "First I'm gonna rip the buttons off your blouse one by one..." Sarah quickly realises who it is and tries not to burst out laughing as she lets him continue for about half a minute before flatly demanding, "Who is this?" Embarrassed, Matt apologises and politely asks for Ginger. Then when Ginger gets on the phone, he starts over with the exact same tone as before: "First I'm gonna rip the buttons off your blouse one by one..."
• Probably unintentional, but Ginger's '80s Hair in all its glory when primping with Sarah is hilarious.
• Also for Ginger: the girl never takes off her headphones. Even when she has sex with Matt. Granted, this trait gets her into trouble later... but it's funny up until then.
• After having a bad day at work, a rather mean kid puts ice cream down Sarah's apron. One of her co-workers rattles off a good line.
  "Look at it this way: in a hundred years, who's gonna care?"
• Sarah bites Reese on the hand (which would become a Running Gag for every time Michael Biehn stars in a James Cameron movie). Reese says the following line very tersely.
  "Cyborgs don't feel pain. I do. Don't do that again."
• More Hilarious in Hindsight than due to the movie itself, but the cops in the police station rationalize that the Terminator was just some "guy on PCP." Given that it's the standard excuse for vampire-related antics on Buffy the Vampire Slayer, you start to wonder if the Sunnydale PD got some transfers...
• Silberman and Vukovich dickishly enjoy themselves a little too much during Reese's interrogation, but Silberman does produce several cracking lines: Skynet is attempting some sort of "retroactive abortion" and "why didn't you bring... ray guns?"
  • Kyle's seriousness ends up adding to the humor at one point. When he tells Silberman that only living tissue can pass through the time machine, Silberman is puzzled and tries to inquire further. Kyle's rather defensive response?
    "I didn't build the fucking thing!"
• The stoic, emotionless Terminator's attempt to use subterfuge by pretending to be a "friend" of Sarah at the police station is hilarious for how instantly the cop rebukes him. It comes across as an RPG speech check by a character with zero charisma points.
  Terminator: [absolutely deadpan, in the trademark Ahnold accent] I'm a friend of Sarah Connor's. I was told that she was here. Could I see her, please?
  • The fact that it even says please makes it even funnier. Skynet may be genocidal, but it knows how to program manners!
  • In a dark way, after it's clear the cop won't let the Terminator through, he carefully surveys the wood-and-glass construction separating the lobby from the rest of the police station. Obviously satisfied with its scan, the Terminator leans forward, delivers the immortal line, then follows through...with Car Fu to knock the barrier down and gain access to the police station.
    T-800: [after slow, deliberate survey] I'll be back.
• in the climactic chase, after being knocked off its motorbike the T-800, slow and deliberate as ever, starts to climb back to its feet- and is immediately run down by a truck.
• After being run over by the truck, the T-800 disposes of the driver when he worriedly goes to check on it and commandeers the vehicle. It then turns toward the passenger, its human disguise completely mangled by this point, and tells him to Get Out!. The passenger wastes little to no time in complying.
• The gun store owner describing all his heavy weaponry as "ideal for home defense."
  • Also the Terminator's odd request for a "phased plasma rifle with a 40 watt range".
  • The gun store owner's bemused/annoyed reaction, presuming this gun-savvy customer is just messing with him and responding that he only sells what he has on display.
    "Hey, just what you see, pal!"
  • The shopkeeper seeing the Terminator trying to apply a Ballistic Discount and tells him, "You can't do that." The Terminator replies, "Wrong," before blowing him away.
• The scene of The Terminator ripping its eye out becomes funny when after covering it with its shades, it adjusts its hair in the mirror before going out to try to kill Reese and Sarah once again.
• Meta example: The reason for the infamously poor Stop Motion animation of the Terminator's endoskeleton at the end? The visual effects team made it out of steel, not realizing how heavy and difficult to operate this would make it. Oops.

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