Funny / The Soup

• POTATO-DONOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
• The show's entire coverage of the Mexican telenovela La Madrastra.
  Joel: I can think of at least fourteen network shows I understand that aren't this good!
• "On Whale Wars..." [cue clip of Dance Your Ass Off]
• Joel learns that Viva Laughlin was cancelled. He shows the audience a clip from the show of actor Lloyd Owen singing Elton John's "I'm Still Standing". Joel...wasn't actually too happy.
  "W-w-why would you cancel that? We need that."
• One specific "Clippos Magnificos" segment featured a telenovela where a man was destroying his bedroom in a fit of rage while a mysterious unknown woman wearing a blonde wig is sitting at the window looking in with an intense look on her face, seemingly enjoying this man behave in this manner. Cutting back to the studio, we see the "ethnic" Soup staffer sitting at the "window" in a blonde wig herself, imitating the clip. A short time later, we see guest star Walter Koenig in the background with the woman at another corner of the "window", also staring off into space.
• The show's own trailer for W. featuring Willard Scott as Dick Cheney, Spencer Pratt as Karl Rove, Tanisha from The Bad Girls Club as Condoleezza Rice and Hulk Hogan as Barbara Bush.
• The Oobi glue moment, which Joel compares to a scene from Caligula. And his accompanying response:
  "You know what they say: Big hands, f-*bleep*-ing weird TV show.
• All of Joel's alternate titles for Breaking Bonaduce that he would have every week: Broken Bonaduce, Detoxing Bonaduce, Mentally Unstable Bonaduce and even at one point calling the show Breaking Bona-douche Bag. Then Danny showed up at The Soup Awards, called him out for all the things he said about him, told him he was right (to which even the studio applauded him and one crew member shouted out "Alright, Joel!") claimed to be gay and kissed him!
• During a clip from the soap opera-themed "My Stories"^note Which featured a picture of Joel giving a Slasher unsmile and causes him to ask "What the hell is that?!" in response has the infamous scene from The Bold and the Beautiful when Ridge knocked Rick off of a rooftop. After Ridge repeatedly calls out his name, it cuts back to Joel mocking him and saying "I could have called you any other name! Steve! Larry! Gunther!"
• One clip from Maury had two cousins claiming that the same man fathered their children. The first woman found out he wasn't the father, ran off stage and crashed into a ladder for her troubles. Then the second woman also learned he wasn't the father of her child either and runs off in an equally dramatic fashion, also falling once she got backstage. Joel's response to all this?:
  "You know when I wanna clear my mind, I always go on a walk, too."
  • Another episode had a woman trying to find the father of her children and after neither man she brought on was the father, she proceeded to run backstage and tear up a closet full of shoes. Joel not only says that he was cleared the sixth time (she was on her twelth appearance), but after her subsequent freak out, he replies "Yes, I know it's hard to find a perfect shoe to go with your lacy headband thing! Just stick with a basic black pump, especially when you *bleep* so many guys that you don't know who the father is."
• The Desperate Housewives dolls which feature Gabrielle with a ridiculously oversized pair of breasts, Lynette replaced with a Ken doll in drag, Bree with an excessive amount of red body hair and Edie's head replaced with that of a horse and featuring a "Kung-fu Botox grip".
  "Desperate Housewives dolls, for the slutty, negligent mother in all of us!"
• Many of their poll bumpers:
  • For the Rocky Balboa poll, they asked which of the following would be Rocky's reply at the end of his match:
  A) "Adrian!"
  B) "I did it!"
  C) "Ohhh! My back!"
  • The question of "Did you go see Iron Man?", it had a 100% answer of "Yes". Similarly, when asking the question about the celebrities on the show "But Can They Sing?", it was 100% "No".
  • When asking the public "Did you go see The Dark Knight?", 99% said yes, but the 1% representing Rachel Dawes replied "Don't rub it in".
  • When asked about what "Playing With Fire" was, the responses were:
  A) Kevin's new album
  B) Britney's new perfume
  C) What Sean Preston is doing right now
• The aforementioned Breaking Bonaduce produced a "spin-off" called Baking Bonaduce which was a cooking show starring Danny and Gretchen. Even better, it had Eric Stoltz as Danny and Joel's wife as Gretchen and was to be followed by a show called Hogan Knows Hanukkah.
  • "If those cookies aren't golden brown with a warm and chewy center, I will shake your foundation!"
  • "Where'd the pie crust come from, Gretchen? Your "friend", the baker?" "No, Danny, no!" "Turn these cameras off! Turn 'em off!"
  • The woman...that I would bake a seven layer cake for...does not exist."
  • Using a flavor injector for, ahem, enhancement.
• At one point the show was discussing soap opera actress Brenda Dickson who was in the news for doing a Nazi salute at the divorce proceedings of her Jewish soon-to-be ex-husband. This lead to them uncovering her infamous glamour video from 1987. Joking about her stilted and cheesy delivery, Joel then imitates her, commenting "Hello. Now let me show you the room where I keep my horse tranquilizers."
• A segment featured the Beckhams in their media appearances.
  • For Victoria, it had her being interviewed by Larry King for his show and reading a question sent in asking why she never smiles in pictures. To this, she has an answer:
  Victoria: Okay...I'll try...*displays a half-hearted unsmile smirk. It then cuts back to Joel in the studio who is imitating her pathetic smile*
  Joel: *in a bad British accent* Larry, let me borrow your oil can and we can look for hearts together.
  • For David, a very fanservicey black and white underwear photo spread is shown, then Joel says that some people are very excited over it, which then includes some gratuitous CGI effects of an elephant trumpeting, fireworks and even the picture "winking". To this, he then claims that they didn't add the special effects.
• Speaking of The Wizard of Oz, one of the most inexplicable moments happened on a Halloween Episode of The Singing Bee. As "Ding, Dong! The Wicked Witch is Dead!" is sung (specifically the part with "Wake up, you sleepy head! Rub your eyes, get out of bed! Wake up...") the featured contestant believed that the next word was "Sticky?" Then Joel proceeded to imitate the guy before his voice gave out trying to sound as high-pitched as he was.
• Any usage of "Oprah's Va-jay-jay!"
  Oprah: My va-jay-jay is painin'!
• Any time Donald Trump was mentioned:
  • An ad for a fictitious Children's CD offer called You're Tired! With some of the tracks include "Martha Is An Ungrateful Bitch" and "Hush, little baby. Don't you cry; when I divorce your mother and leave you penniless, then you can cry".
  • One segment had a clip of his driving in L.A. in a Corvette and talking to the camera about searching for the next big talent. This leads to one of the show's crewmembers dressed as a prostitute while running down the street and screaming, "Hey, I'll suck your *bleep!* for $100!"
  • Another segment had an (intentionally bad) imitation of him talking about his "latest avenue": high priced nose candy.
• Seth Green's appearance on Grey's Anatomy. Never has Bloody Hilarious been so unintentionally funny.^note Which was made even funnier by both the poor special effects and the freeze-framed clip shown back in the studio is of the blood gushing out of his neck.
• The Tony Danza Show's "Danzitions":
  *upbeat* Keep your shoes shined! *clasps hands and is now serious* Hey, you know who died yesterday?
  • Tony actually liked the mention, even later spoofing it for an appearance on the show with him breaking a guitar over Joel's head.
• One segment had To Catch a Predator edited as a sitcom. Highlights include clips of one predator arriving completely naked at the sting house, another predator pouring himself a margarita, only it to spill all over the tabletop and another predator whose response to learning what was going on was a simple "Oops" (which is all set to a Laugh Track).
• Joel's bit as a famous soccer star and his wife:
  Joel!David: *With a poor English accent* Hello! I'm David Beckham and this is me wife, Victoria, and welcome to me game show Don't Forget the Lyrics! To a Spice Girls Song While I Kick Balls In Your Face.
  • When he asks the contestant about his new baby, he's (understandably) more concerned with the notion of having a soccer ball kicked in his face by a professional athlete. He does get the lyrics to "Wannabe" right, but David kicks the ball in his face anyway, breaking his nose.
  Contestant: Owww! What the hell is wrong with you? Are you crazy?
  Joel!David: No, I'm English!
  • At the ending of the show, he then requests for Victoria to sing them out...only to discover that she's passed out due to lack of food. Also when cutting back to the studio, the freeze-framed clip is of the ball as its making contact with the hapless contestants face.

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