Funny / The Patrick Star Show Season 1

"The surrealist!"

19B - Fun & Done!

• Patrick's first meeting with Andy:
  Patrick: Your mom said I was your tutor. But I don't know what that is. Let's just have fun instead!
• After realizing Andy doesn't know what fun is, Patrick stares at him with a blank expression, then screams loudly and goes into a Troubled Fetal Position.
• SpongeBob and Patrick offering Andy various fun things, portrayed by them literally shoving them in his face as he stares ahead with a bored expression.
• Patrick pronounces "kazoo" as "Kalamazoo!"
• Right when Patrick is telling SpongeBob that they're probably not going to randomly find Andy's imagination door, he trips over the doorknob mid-sentence.
• At the end, Patrick is only paid a quarter for his "tutoring". He puts it in one of SpongeBob's holes, making his eyes spin like a slot machine. It lands on cherries and SpongeBob spits out a bunch of them.
  Patrick: Aw, cherries again? Someday we're going to win that sports car!

22B - A Root Galoot

• Patrick begins his gardening show indoors, using a pickaxe to dig through the floors of the house before Squidina suggests they go outside.
• Cecil pampers Shmandrake by holding a pillow and vibrating himself to act as a massage chair.
• Patrick can't think of anything to wish for, and his thought bubble self gets impatient waiting for him to come up with something. Patrick wishes that his thoughts will think of something a wish for him.
• After Patrick accidentally kills Shmandrake, the family quickly finds that his death was more worthwhile than anything he did when he was alive, feasting on his roasted corpse without a second thought.
• After Shmandrake induces a Reset Button and disappears, Patrick digs up a genie lamp instead — still suggesting that the family will be fighting over wishes again.
  Squidina: [screams] I wish this cartoon was over already!

24A - Stuntin'

• Patrick snaps his arm trying to open a pickle jar. He runs into an ambulance, which then drives off a ramp to the hospital, but falls and explodes.
• Patrick's "classic coconut comedy bit" consists of him being hit on the head with a coconut. When Squidina blows her airhorn to have GrandPat sub in, the coconut freezes, the music abruptly cuts out, and Patrick calmly walks off-stage.
• A coconut slapstick sketch is immediately followed by DEATH MATCH!
• Patrick making his cheese sandwich, repeating "you got your cheese..." over and over while putting more cheese on.
• When GrandPat steals Patrick's bed, Patrick decides the next best place to sleep is on a random pile of jagged, rusty scrap metal in his room.
• The entire audience can't recognize that GrandPat isn't Patrick, saying things like "that's definitely him" and "I've seen him before, that's the guy."
• Patrick pauses the episode in the middle of a smear frame. He removes GrandPat from the smear and inserts himself in.
• GrandPat and Patrick end up being surgically grafted together after an accident. Squidina, sounding absolutely tired, finishes off the sponsorship.
  Squidina: Today's show sponsored by Star Brand Pickles. Snap a pickle, not your wrist.

25B - Get Off My Lawnie

• Patrick's late-night show opens with the sound of seals barking a song. Everyone in the audience hates it, except Slappy.
• Old Man Walker quickly accepts Granny Tentacles' insults as compliments, showing off shirts that say "Sick Person!" and "No Life!"
• After Granny Tentacles thinks she hears something at home:
  Granny Tentacles: Eh, maybe my hearing aid's acting up. I don't know why I bother. It's not like there's anyone worth listening to anyway.
• She then sees Squidward making an incredibly nightmarish face, which turns out to be one of his paintings.
  Granny Tentacles: Oh. Phew. It's just some of Squidward's art. ...If that's what you want to call it.
• The lawnies debate the symbolism and metaphors in Granny Tentacles' morning routine. "Washing her face is a metaphor for starting over!" "Actually, it's blunt and derivative."
• A kid breaks into Granny Tentacles' wardrobe and wears her nightgown and dentures, complete with a hilariously gross shot of her drooling.
• Granny Tentacles takes a walk in the park that lasts all of three seconds before she sits down.
• When Granny Tentacles finds her fans boarding the bus she got on, they contest whether it's the second or third act of the "show".
• Old Man Walker struggles to hear the show. When his vehicle explodes, he flies away and says "Oh, okay, I did hear that!"
• Slappy manages to turn on the episode's subtitles, which help Granny Tentacles cross a cliff.
• The lawnies' constant stalking of Granny Tentacles throughout the episode. At one point, they follow her and shout "SAY WE HAVE NO LIVES!"
• The lawnies leave Granny Tentacles' show in favor of watching an old man paint a fence. This quickly becomes another TV hit.
• Granny Tentacles watches the show that replaced her and comments that it's actually pretty good... for her to hate-watch.

26A - Bubble Bass Reviews

• The episode starts off with Patrick announcing a "try this at home" stint involving incredibly dangerous objects, including a toaster stuffed with lit dynamite that's plugged into a shorting power strip with a cord that's partially submerged in a bowl of punch, and of all things, a book titled "Fire 4 Kids" with lit candles and a box of matchsticks alongside it.
• Bubble Bass immediately nitpitcks how the dynamite is able to stay in the toaster, rather than why Patrick is even doing this in the first place.
• Bubble Bass takes a break from his review to eat pizza bagels.

  Mama Bass: A special treat for a special boy.

• Bubble Bass fakes a sponsorship for canned nacho cheese.
• At one point, both Patrick and Squidina are revealed to be watching Bubble Bass ranting about The Patrick Show:
  Squidina: [sigh] I guess Bubble Bass isn't exactly a fan of the show.
  Patrick: Well, maybe we oughta go have a little talk with him...
  [cue a dramatic thunder clap as Patrick glowers]
  Patrick: Oh, and we better bring an umbrella since it just started raining.
  Squidina: Good call.
  Patrick: Call who?
• On Review Review, Patrick gets some amazing Stealth Insults at Bubble Bass.
  Patrick: Normally when you stain your clothes, you feel embarrassed, but that's what we love about Bubble Bass! No shame.
  Patrick: Bubble Bass works really hard. You can tell because of all that sweat that comes off him. It's like Niagara Falls, for crying out loud.
• Squidina shows a montage of Bubble Bass's loudest tantrums: five successive clips of him screaming.

26B - Patrick's Prison Pals

• Bunny ominously reminds Patrick of the most important rule of prison: have fun!
• Patrick tries greeting prisoners and gets immediately run over by a bus.
• After Sockeye escapes, Bunny promptly runs him over. Mistaking him for Patrick, she says "This is no time to play roadkill!", implying Patrick has done this before.
• Patrick rebounds a cannonball with his stomach, and it hits Squidina in the face.
• The ending. Sockeye gets back to prison and finally escapes Patrick's family, but Patrick had so much fun in prison that he wants his family to move in.
  Sockeye: Prison! Yes, I'm back! I'm finally safe from that crazy Star family!
  Patrick: So, my crazy Star family, what do you say we move into prison right now?