Funny / The Northman

• Heimir's first lines, dressed in motley for the court. Along with his... gesticulations with a wooden spoon!
  "Look how the queen's cup grows wet for more men than her king! What metal might buy a fragrant sip? Sweet silver? Or hard iron!"
  • And did we mention that he precedes all of that with what sounds for all the world like the confused grunt from Home Improvement?
• While undergoing a Rite of Passage with his father and Heimir, Amleth and his father run around on all fours like dogs, barking all the while. It's pretty silly, until the following occurs.
  Heimir: Prove you are not a dog.
  (Beat. Aurvandill proceeds to belch colossally in Heimir's face)
  Heimir: Not only are you a man... (suddenly cheerful) but you dine like a king!
  • He then does the same for Amleth, who just farts. Like father like son.
• Olga presents a piece of bread to one of the raiders... Just to throw it at his face before trying to stab him.
• When Amleth tries to steal a knife from the kitchen to start his revenge, the blue vixen he's supposed to follow causes a ruckus by killing a chicken. The next night, she doesn't wait for Amleth to go off The Norns' script by simply waiting outside the hut Amleth is staying.
• While tending to his labors, Amleth sees two people carrying a cloth on a stick into Fjolnir and Gudrun's home. Curious to see what's going on for himself, Amleth finds the next pair of cloth-carriers, and shoves one of them away to take his place, telling him:
  Amleth: (to one cloth-carrying slave) Go take a piss.
• Amleth quickly gets fed up with the He-Witch and orders him to "speak, witch!" The He-Witch promptly throws "So be it, slave!" back at Amleth, almost like a No, You.
• Gunnar tries to get involved with the knattleikr game, but the burly guy on the other team knocks him out. After his family wakes him, the boy's first words are, "Did we win?"
  • During the game, when Amleth and Thorfinnr are the last ones standing, Thorfinnr bats the ball towards the opposing goal and actually manages to score a hit on the thin post from across the entire pitch. Amleth can only stare after the lost point with an incredulous and despondent puppy expression on his face.
• After defeating the Mound Dweller, Amleth shoves the corpse's head against its ass.
• As Amleth lies in wait during an attempt to kill Fjolnir, Fjolnir's dog runs ahead and starts barking at him. Amleth shuts him up by growling back. Somehow, nobody hears Amleth's savage snarl.
• "This is not the work of my god! This is trollish sorcery!" Just the fact that the word "troll" made it into an ancient Norse story is fairly amusing.
  • Where do you think the word "troll" came from?
• This priceless bit of swerving Black Comedy during the Darkest Hour for our hero.
  Amleth Aurvandilson: (beaten to a bloody pulp) You cannot kill me. Even if you were to strike me with your sword, it would not bite. It is not my time. I will die in battle.
  Fjölnir The Brotherless: (punches his nephew in the face) Where is my son's heart?!
  Amleth: Óðinn... the All-Father... will vanquish your god of erections. Fear him.
  Fjölnir: Silence! ...I will come back for your heart. And your mother and I will eat it.
• After Amleth is captured and tortured, Finnr tries to appropriate his sword... only to throw it away in disgust after trying and failing to draw it from its sheath several times.

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