Funny / The Mummy Returns

• Rick and Evie's reintroductions are amusing. Rick is first shown cutting a badass silhouette against a backlight in the ruins, looking wary of something, before being startled out of his wits by his son, Alex. When he meets up with Evie, she sees a venomous snake slithering around her foot, and kicks it away, almost hitting Rick.
  Evie: Go away. [kicks snake, which Rick narrowly dodges]
  Rick: Whoa! Those are poisonous, you know.
  Evie: Only if they bite you.
  • Related to the point below, she's not even frightened or creeped out. She's just annoyed at the snake and just casually lifts it by the tip of her boot then sends it flying.
  • And then, after the find the secret passageway further in, after a shot establishing the scorpion-riddled floor, while Evie casually tiptoes through the floor, Rick just stomps through without so much as looking where he's stepping.
• Alex certainly inherited his parents' ability to snark.
  Alex: [carrying the chest carrying the bracelet] Mum, what do I do with this chest?! Sucker weighs a god dang ton!
  Evie: Alex, watch your language!
  Alex: [Suddenly very posh] Rather weighty, this.
• Rick poking the eyes of one of Imhoteps' Mook mummies. The mummy doesn't have eyes, and Rick winds up with gunk all over his hand that he takes a minute to shake off.
• A tender kiss between the O'Connells is ruined when Evy catches sight of something that's not supposed to be thrown there.
  Evie: Those knickers are not mine.
  Rick: [Grumbles under his breath] Johnathan...
• A desert of wit at the O'Connells'.
  Rick: [opens door, sees Meela about to stick a venomous snake down Jonathan's throat] Uh, hello... Jonathan, I thought I said, "no more wild parties."
  Jonathan: Oh, well, when you're popular...
  Rick: Of course, knowing my brother-in-law, he probably deserves whatever you're about to do to him, but this is my house and I have certain rules about snakes and dismemberment- [gets the snake flung at him]
• Alex to Imhotep.
  Alex: My dad's gonna kick your arse.
  Imhotep: [takes off his mask, scaring Alex] I don't think so.
• The train scene with Alex and Lock-Nah. Especially when Lock-Nah takes Alex so he can use the restroom, though Alex refuses to "go", until Lock-Nah leaves:
  Alex: "I don't trust you! You'll look!"
  • Lock-Nah's reaction to the above is just as priceless; he almost looks offended that Alex would think him a pedo.
  • Just about any scene with those two, actually.
    Alex: No ice?!
  • Don't forget this, when Lock-Nah was playing Five-Finger Fillet on him:
    Alex: Woah, that was amazing! Perfect aim!
    Lock-Nah: What are you talking about? ...I missed.
• Meela has this winner when Jonathan tells her he told her everything he knew about the Bracelet of Anubis so she wouldn't kill him.
  Meela: When did we make that arrangement?
• When Meela tricks the three idiots to open the chest so Imhotep can recover his powers by killing them, they try to shoot him down with predictable results. The kicker? Imhotep fucks around pretending he's feeling the gunshots— he flinches after being shot.
• After they've fought off all the mummies on the bus and pretty much destroyed the bus, Rick asks everyone if they're all right. Ardeth Bay's priceless response:
  "This was my first bus ride."
  • And there's the beginning of the bus scene, where Jonathan steals the thing as a getaway vehicle. Rick is speechless with shock that of all the cars he could have stolen, he chose a double-decker bus.
  • The reason he stole the bus in the first place? He broke the key to Rick's car trying to start it!
    • For that matter, Alex starts to freak out when it happens.
      Alex: You broke it, you broke it you broke it!
      Jonathan: Be quiet, Alex! If there'll be any hysterics, they'll come from me!
• Rick to Evy as the latter is trying to barricade a door from mummies:
  Rick: Honey, what are you doing? These guys don't use doors!
  (cue warrior mummies bursting through the wall)
• "I say, chaps, look at this! Shrunken heads. I'd love to know how they do that", says Jonathan, and the others look at him as if to remind him of what happened the last time he poked at something...
  Jonathan: Just curious.
• Izzy's barrage of complaints upon meeting Rick again, including the immortal "I'm in mourning for my arse!"
  • While he's going on this rant, he's quickly grabbing up maps and other papers, trying to pack up and leave before Rick can pull him into another job. One of those scrolls is underneath a sleeping drunk's head, so Izzy just casually lifts the guy's head by the hair, grabs the scroll, and lets the man's head go with a THUD.
    Izzy: Remember that bank job in Marrakesh?
    Evelyn: Bank job?
    Rick: It's not like it sounds.
    Izzy: Oh it's exactly how it sounds! I'm flying high, hiding in the sun, then white boy here flags me down, so I fly in low for the pickup. The next thing I know, I get shot! I'm lying in the middle of the road with my spleen hangin' out and I see him waltzing up with some belly dancer girl.
    Evelyn: Belly dancer girl? Izzy, I think you and I should talk...
    Izzy: As long as I don't get shot.
  • When Rick pays him cash upfront for the job, Izzy tries to blow it off by rhetorically asking him what he needs money for and what he'd even spend it on...and then pockets it anyway. Meanwhile, while he's saying that, cut to Evie confusedly turning to look at the man sitting and reading the papers in the bathtub in the background behind her.
  • When Rick gives Izzy a short passionate declaration about how he's doing this to get Alex back, he gesticulates with the scepter he swiped from Jonathan, that Izzy is immediately enchanted by.
    Izzy: O'Connell, you give me that gold stick there, and you can shave my head, wax my legs, and use me for a surf board!
    Rick: [Hands him the scepter] Didn't we do that in Tripoli? Oh, by the way, when did you [gestures to the eyepatch] lose your eye?
    Izzy: Oh! [Reveals his intact eye] I didn't! I just thought it'd make me look more dashing.
    Rick: [Unimpressed] Uh huh, come here. [Tears off the patch] Get to work.
  • Rick's less than enthusiastic opinion of pursuing Imhotep in a dirigible, rather than a plane:
    Rick: Izzy, you were right.
    Izzy: [uncertainly] I was?
    Rick: Yeah. You're gonna get shot! [pulls out a gun]
  • Sets up for a gag at the end, paired with Heartwarming Moment:
    Izzy: O'Connell! You almost got me killed!
    Rick: At least you didn't get shot.
    Evie: (showers Izzy with kisses) Izzy! Thank you! Thank you!
    Izzy: (mellowed out) O'Connell, who the hell you been messing with this time?
    Rick: Oh you know, the usual. Mummies. Pygmies. Big... bugs...
• Speaking of Izzy, his comment when his dirigible runs out of gas and sputters to a halt just as the gang's trying to evade Imhotep on the way to Ahm Shere:
  Izzy: ...Well that's not good. [Slinks straight down out of frame.]
• At the end, Jonathan and Izzy are arguing over the gold sceptre thingy:
  Jonathan: I swear on the head of my wife, I have no idea what you're talking about.
  Izzy: You haven't! You ain't got a wife!
  Jonathan: Well I haven't got a gold stick, either!
  • The film ends with Izzy screaming, "GET OFF MY SHIP!"
• Evy's first response to Rick shooting the locks on Izzy's door:
  Evy: Honey, you're not a subtle man.
  Rick: We don't have time for "subtle".
  • Between the sheer nonchalance in Evy's tone when she says that, combined with the fact that she considers Rick shooting the locks as "subtle" is itself hilarious, which she also doesn't even flinch at, she's shown to be completely unfazed anymore to Rick's...usual direct approach to problem solving, also seen in other parts. Really, the only time she reacts negatively to his brute force is when he uses a crowbar to bust down a wall that opens a secret passage, since she was afraid he'd end up smashing a perfectly good mural to chunks. Thankfully, it fell in one piece.
• Anck-su-namun compliments Evy's remembrance of the "old ways" of fighting they used to practice... and promptly gets introduced to the modern portion of Evy's fighting style through a headbutt.
  Evy: That's a little something new!
• Jonathan and one of the mooks run into each other during the pursuit by the pygmy mummies. They take shelter in a circle of stones, with Jonathan reassuring the mook that they won't cross the sacred stones. Cue a pygmy pole-vaulting over the stones to stab the mook, leaving him looking utterly aghast at Jonathan. Jonathan simply shouts "Sorry, my mistake!" and runs.
  • What's funnier is that this particular mook was a Mauve Shirt up until this point. Some particular camera focus was given to him early in the movie, and he'd managed to avoid getting killed by expertly dodging the knife Rick threw back to them (which landed on another unfortunate mook's neck). Guess his luck ran out here.
  • How does Johnathan survive that same pygmy? By shrieking in fear which causes that pygmy to also scream and run away.
• A bit dark but when the Curator gets grabbed by the Scorpion King, he pleads for Imhotep to save him. Imhotep's simple response is rather amusing:
  Imhotep: (sounding genuinely confused) Why?
• How about when Rick stabs the Scorpion King with the Spear of Osiris and then Imhotep comes running in, gets on one knee, gestures at the event happening right in front of him shouting, "NOOOOOO!" It's like he missed his cue!
  • The CG Scorpion King looks up from his own impalement as if he's wondering just what the hell is wrong with this guy.
  • Before that, when Scorpion King enters the room and sees Rick and Imhotep, he gives a smug little smirk, clearly unimpressed with the "contestants". It's also a nice little Actor Allusion, considering that it is The Rock playing him.
  • For that matter, the conspicuous CGI for The Scorpion King is pretty funny to watch nowadays, given how badly it has aged.
• When Jonathan's hanging out of the airship.
  Jonathan: Pull me up, pull me up!! (catches glimpse of the massive diamond) Wait, wait!!! Let me down, let me down!!
  Rick: It's not worth your life, you idiot!
  Jonathan: Yes it is! Yes it is!
• When Alex shows Rick, Jonathan and Ardeth Bay that he has secretly put on the Bracelet of Anubis.
  Ardeth: By putting this on, you have started a chain reaction that could bringaboutthenextapocalypse!
  [Alex gasps]
  Rick: [blinks in frustration] [to Ardeth] You, lighten up. [to Alex] You, big trouble. [to Jonathan] You, get in the car.
• Ardeth Bey after helping Rick kill the bad guys who have invaded his home:
  Ardeth: Now are you glad to see me?
  Rick: Just like old times, huh?
  • And later as they are arming up to rescue Evy:
    Rick: You want the shotgun?
    Ardeth Bey: No, I prefer the Thompson.
  • He apparently remembered the great fun he had with the machine gun from the first movie.
• At the beginning, when Rick and Evy are in the tomb, and she is about to open the chest that contains the Bracelet of Anubis, he takes the time to remind her what happened the last time she disregarded an ancient "Do Not Disturb" sign.
  Evy: It's only a chest. No harm ever came from opening a chest!
  Rick: Yeah, right! And "No harm ever came from reading a book"! You remember how that one went?
• Alex's reactions when he sees his parents kiss.
  Alex: Oh, jeez, get a room.
  • And later on as they leave Am Shere:
    Alex (along with Jonathan): Oh please!
• Izzy's reaction to seeing Rick. He groans, runs back inside, and locks the door. Rick's excuse? "He's a little shy."
• Rick asks when Izzy lost his eye.
  Izzy: I didn't. I just think [the eyepatch] makes me look more dashing.
  • Rick then immediately tears the eyepatch off in exasperation.
• The scene in the pyramid when Imhotep tricks the Scorpion King into attacking Rick. Rick is confused, as he can't understand Ancient Egyptian, but is Genre Savvy enough to have a huge Oh, Crap! expression. His eyes flick between the two of them, and he's clearly thinking "I'm missing something here, and it's not good."
• During the approach to Am Shere, everyone gets attacked by pygmies, and the O'Connells and Jonathan flee across a ravine by way of fallen tree. Evy and Alex lead the way, and Rick pauses to light a stick of dynamite he just happens to have on him.
  Jonathan: [running across] What's that for??
  Rick: Oh, nothing, just a little something in case of emergencies! [tosses it to the lead pygmy, who fights with another over it and charges across the fallen tree holding it like a torch before it blows up]
• Speaking of the pygmy mummies, when three of Imhotep's mooks stumble into quicksand around which some other fleeing characters circle, the pursuing mob of bone savages use the mooks' protruding heads as stepping stones to rush straight across the mire. Except for one malicious little shit, who pauses to jump up and down on a mook's head to force the poor guy under the muck.
• The bloopers are a riot.
  • Brendan Fraser struggling to don his bandolier repeatedly until he just cracks up laughing.
• Some moments of hilarity once Imhotep is resurrected:
  • When Meela makes herself known to her reincarnation's resurrected lover, he wastes no time charmingly speaking of him truly reviving Anck-Su-Namun's soul, and Hafez in the background awkwardly stares at the Unholy Matrimony moment before he walks away.
  • Right after that, cutting to Rick musing to Ardeth at the balcony preparing for their rescue attempt.
    Rick: You know, couple of years ago, this would've seemed really strange to me.
• There's something funny about Lock-Nah, the sadistic brutish dragon shaking in fear whenever he's in the presence of Imhotep.

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