Funny / The Monster Squad

• "OOOOOHHHH!! Look at that big scary monster! OOOOOOOOOHHH!"
• "Aww, man! Fat kid farted!"
  • the above line immediately starts a squabble. The camera focuses on Sean moving rapidly from frustrated to furious, but if you listen carefully, you can hear Fat Kid protesting, "It wasn't me! It was Pete! ^note the dog"
• Not to mention this gem:
  "Have you or have you not, at some point in life..." (long pause) "been dorked?"
• "Do I look in the phonebook for 'Big Scary Mansion'?"
• Patrick and Rudy are hiding in the bushes, watching Patrick's sister kissing her date. Rudy won't stop looking at her.
  Patrick: Rudy? Rudy!
  [Patrick hits Rudy on the head with his walkie-talkie.]
  Rudy: This babe is major.
  Patrick: (eyerolls) Rudy's in love.
  Sean: (exasperated) Well, good for Rudy.
• Both spit takes.
  • "Know any virgins?"
  • When Rudy's looking over the fresh photographs and he comes across one the Frankenstein monster accidentally took... of The Girl Next Door who was undressing.
• The Brick Joke involving the army showing up at the end. It's funny as hell when you remember that what summoned them was a note written by Eugene —in crayon— asking the "army guys" to come and help.
• The other Brick Joke, about killing werewolves. Early in the film Rudy is asked about the secondary way to kill a werewolf, and he says that there's only one way. The rest of the 'squad' give various suggestions, including it falling out of the window, into an explosion. Guess what happens to the wolfman at the end of the film, failing to kill him?
  • The Groin Attack on the Wolf Man. And, of course, the (former) main page-topping quote, which is arguably the film's most memorable line.
    "Wolfman's got nards!"
• When Phoebe showed the boys the Frankenstein monster, they all run away to hide. Sean and Patrick run through the fence door pushing each other, and Rudy jumps over the fence while Fat Kid tries to climb over it. They all hide behind bushes while Fat Kid tries to hide inside a trash can.
• More Gallows humor than anything else, but when the Squad's attempt to invoke Bloodstained Glass Windows fails due to the church being locked, Sean declares they'll just have to do the ritual at the foot of the church steps instead.
  Patrick: Like, really religious, Sean! Why don't we just go and do it over at Burger King??
• "DOESN'T COUNT?!"
• Anyone trying to argue with a Slasher Movie fan can sympathize with Del's discussion with Sean:
  (Sean wants to go see Groundhog Day Part 12)
  Del: I thought they killed him in the last one?
  Sean: They did... and he returns from his grave.
  Del: Oh, c'mon Sean! He always returns from his grave in these movies! If they chopped him into pieces, put the head in a blender and sent the rest of the pieces to Norway he'd still return from his grave!
  Sean: That was part seven.
  ——