Funny / The Marklar 01

• The man has a gift for taking random parts of score and turning it into an original song. It usually turns out well.

• Obi Wan Senses the stop button
  Obi Wan: Another happy landing.
  • Palpatine: We must shit before we get off this ship.
  • The entire sequence where Marklar remixes the Clone on exploding Starship Cannon doing the Wilhelm Scream. The entire sequence.
  • "Well, R2 is fuckin' high!" (cue R2D2 spazzing out to demonstrate this fact)
  • Anakin and Obi Wan debate who pressed the stop button.
  Obi Wan: Did you press the stop button?
  Anakin: No did you press the stop button?
  Obi Wan: Did you press the stop button?
  Anakin: No, did you?
  • Any time the Indiana Jones theme comes on to lampshade any swashbuckling moment.
  • Also, this.
  General Grievous: Anakin Skyrim, I expected someone of your reputation to be a little shit!
  • The ending's timing is pure gold.
  Anakin: I HATE YOU!!!!
  Old!Obi Wan: ...and he was a good friend.

• The Phantom of the Oak Steak
  • When Obi Wan tells the prisoners to run, the forward and reversal of them getting up is extremely stupid, and funny.
  Qui-gon: Your highness, I suggest you have sex with us 'here and now'.
  • Obi Wan telling Qui gon about the malfunctioning hyperdrive:
  Obi Wan: "The hyperdrive's gone master, we'll need a new one."
  Qui Gon: "No."
  Obi Wan: "We'll need a new one master."
  Qui Gon: "No, keep your concentration here and now where it belongs."
  Obi Wan: "We'll need a new one master."
  • "Tatatoot"
  • Jar Jar Binks Blowing a Raspberry to the tune of "Yankee Doodle".
  • Obi Wan: "We're losing ducks fast!" *Trade Federation cannons knock ducks off the starship hull while ducks quack*
  • "Have you come to fuck my mom?"
  • "Your thoughts dwell on your mother." "No sir, I miss my speeder."
  • Yoda: "Fear is the path to the ducks!"
  • The brief appearance of Boss Nass. Specifically, his laughter being looped to make it resemble... Something different. Bonus points for Anakin's frozen horrified expression and Obi-Wan grinning like a jackass at his master. Followed by...
  Qui-Gon: Your Highness, there is a possibility with this diversion that many Gungans will penetrate you.
  Boss Nass: Weesa ready to do ours'n part.
  Padme: ...
  Boss Nass: --AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA--
  • Obi Wan repeatedly subject to Qui-gon Jin getting stabbed by Darth Maul. Only this man can make Qui-gon's death hilarious:
  Obi Wan: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
  Qui-gon: *Gets stabbed again*
  Obi Wan: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
  Qui-gon: *Gets stabbed once again*
  Obi Wan: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
  Qui-gon: *Gets stabbed again*
  Obi Wan: No.

• Gordon Ramsay Makes a Misteak
  • Oh boy, where to start...this!
  Gordon Ramsay: "Smells like f***ing Christmas!"
  • Then immediately after:
  "English Mustache" *Grows handlebar moustache while God save the Queen plays in the background*
  • "Christmas wouldn't be Christmas without my nuts!"
  • "Look at this, absolutely f***ing disgusting."

• Terminator 3: Arnold has windows 7
  • When ever the Terminator drives any vehicle he hijacks, the 1960s Batman theme plays.
  • This conversation:
  John Connor: "We stopped Santa 10 years ago, I mean we stopped Christmas day!"
  Terminator: "You only postponed it. Christmas day is inevitable."
  John: "You've gotta be shitting me!"
  Terminator: "No, I am shitting myself."
  • This conversation:
  John: So this, this Terminatrix, how many others does she have on her hit list?
  Terminator: Twenty-two. Anderson, Elizabeth. Anderson, William. Barrera, Jose. Brewster, Robert.
  Kate: My father?!
  Terminator: William, Jose. Brewster, Barrera. Elizabeth, William. Robert, William.
  Kate: She's gonna kill my father, too?!
  Terminator: Anderson, Jose. Barrera, Brewster. Barrera, Robert.
  The T-850 lists off four more names while John and Kate's normal conversation from the movie plays.
  • "General Robert Brewster is program director of CRSRCS. Cyber Research Systems Research Cyber Systems."
  • The Terminator drive-by blasts T-X, who lets out a Wilhem Scream. He then proceeds to drive off...only to reverse back to honk at her.
  • This. Just this.
  John: "Tell her who I am!"
  Terminator: "Negative."
  John: *Knocks repeatedly*
  Terminator (muffled): "STAHP IT!"
  John: *knocks even more*
  John: "Tell her who I am!"
  Terminator: "Pranky Brewster."
  • In the Graveyard sequence, an Officer uses his Loudspeaker for a special announcement before trying to shoot the Terminator:
  SWAT Officer: "This city...of Osgiliath...has been reclaimed...FOR GONDOR!!!"
  • The Terminator, in the process of shaking T-X off of the roof of the hearse he is driving, drives off a cliff, letting loose a Goofy Holler. Then the screen shakes with the sound of a distant explosion.
  • General Brewster gets a phone call:
  Brewster: "Brewster."
  Terminator: "PUT THAT COOKIE DOWN!"
  Brewster: *Immediately hangs up*
  • "In an hour, I will initiate a massive doo-doo."

• Lord of the rings - Lord of Apple
  • When the Hobbits give away their position to the Nazgul (aka the Ringwraiths) at Weathertop.
  Frodo: What are you doing?!
  Merry: RICEcrispies.
  Frodo: Put it out, you fools! Put it out!
  (Frodo puts out the fire and the scene cuts to Weathertop from a distance)
  Sam: NO!!!!!!!
  • During Elrond's Council Scene
  Elrond: You have only one choice. The Ring must be taken DEEP into Gimli's ass.
  Gimli: Then what are we waiting for?
  (Scene cuts to a screen that says "CENSORED" as Gimli yells in pain as he puts the Ring in his butt)
  Elrond: You have only one choice. Sauron's iPhone must be destroyed.
  (shows an iPhone)

• Lord of the Rings: Lord of the cosmic crab cake
  • Gandalf tries to pay a visit to Bilbo.
  Bilbo Baggins: No thank you! We don't want any more visitors or distant well wishers or distant visitors or distant well wishers or well distant visitors or distant wishers or well wish visitors or wish well distant visitors or distant relations!
  Gandalf: And what about very old friends?
  Bilbo: No thank you!
  Gandalf: BILBO BAGGINS!!!!
  Bilbo: Fuck you! We don't want any more Youtube Poop!

• Lord of the rings: Lord of the psychotic shrimp
  • Pippin screaming at the beginning.
  • "Spears shall be shaken! Shields shall be shaken! Swords shall be shaken! Theoden shall be shaken! Gamling shall be shaken! A sword day! A red day! A red sword day! A sword red day! The sun rises! And the sword rises! And the shield rises! And Gamling rises! And The Dark Knight Rises!
  • "I will bring further death to my people."
  • I did what I judged to be right.
  • This exchange:
  Denethor: Boromir would have remembered his father's need. He would have brought me a kinky gift.
  Faramir: Boromir would not have brought the ring.
  Denethor: You know nothing of this matter!
  Faramir: He would have kept it for his own!
  Denethor: You know nothing of this matter!
  Faramir: He would have stretched out his hand to this thing...
  Denethor: You know nothing of this matter!
  Faramir: He would have fallen-
  Denethor: Youknownothingofthismatter!
  Faramir: He would have kept the fucking ring.
  Denethor: Youknownothingofthismatter!
  Faramir: When he returned, you would not have known your son.
  Denethor: BOROMIR WAS LOYAL TO MORDOR! Not some wiz-a-wiz-a-wiz-wiz-a-wiz-a-wiz, wiz-a-wiz-a-wiz-wiz-a-wiz-a-wiz wizard! *cue falling-into-chair WTF montage while Faramir watches silently*
  Faramir: I did what I judged to be right.
  • "Two days."

• Lord of the rings: Lord of the roast chicken
  • Negotiations at Orthanc:
  Saruman: What do you want, Gandalf? Let me guess: the key of Orthanc? Or perhaps the keys of Orthanc itself?
  Gandalf: Just tea, thank you!
  Saruman: So you have come here for cum? I have some for you.
  Gandalf: No. Come down, Saruman, and your cock will be spared.
  Saruman: I HAVE NO USE FOR IT!
  (Saruman shoots a fire ball at Gandalf, with a "HADOKEN" sound clip playing. It fails as the fire doesn't burn Gandalf)
  Gandalf: Saruman, your staff is FAIL...
  (Saurman's staff explodes)
  • At the birthday party:
  Bilbo: I regret to announce that this is SPARTA!
  Gandalf: I suppose you think 300 is terribly clever.
  Bilbo: Oh, come on, Gandalf.
  Gandalf: There are many memes in this world, Bilbo Baggins, and none of them should be used lightly.
  • Gandalf alternating between beating poor Sam with his staff and interrogating him about his eavesdropping.

• Lord of the rings - Lord of the roaring red fires
  • When Gandalf goes to Minas Tirath to look up the Account of Isuldur, the video does some editing over a shot of the city and changes the speed to make it sound like the Imperial March.
  • Gimli tries to end this video.
  Elrond: You have only one choice. This Youtube Poop must be destroyed.
  Gimli: Then what are we waiting for you?
  (Gimli tries to smash the video down, with the "The End" screen from Return of the King'' coming down. Unfortunately, the video forces its way back up.)
  Elrond: A poop cannot be destroyed, Gimli, Son of Gloin, by any craft that we here possess.
  • "BILBO BAGGINS! Do not take me for some very old friend... I am trying to rob you!"

• Lord of the rings - Lord of the HellHobbit
  • Gandalf doesn't want to share information:
  Frodo: What news of the outside world? Tell me everything.
  Gandalf: No.
  Frodo: Tell me everything.
  Gandalf: No.
  Frodo: Tell me everything.
  Gandalf: Silence.
  Frodo: Go on, tell me everything.
  Gandalf: NO!
  Frodo: Tell me everything.
  Gandalf: Don't tempt me, Frodo!
  [beat]
  Frodo: Go on, tell me everything.
  Gandalf: FUCK! YOOOOOU!
  Frodo: All right, then, keep your secrets.

• The Hobbit: An incomprehensible journey
  • Good morning.
  • Bilbo Baggins sits down for dinner, only to hear his doorbell jingle to the tune of Jingle Bells. He opens the door to find Balin the Dwarf in a Santa Claus hat. It must be seen to be believed.
    • "HO-HO-HO!"
  • "Fili and Fili at your SUS!"
  Kili: You must be Mr. Bond!
  Bilbo: No.
  Kili: You must be Mr. Boba Fett!
  Bilbo: No.
  Kili: You must be Mr. Bob-Omb!
  Bilbo: No.
  Kili: You must be Mr. Bo-Bo-Bo-Bo-Bo.
  Bilbo: No-no.
  • Bilbo receives news he's expecting more guests:
  Bilbo: "How many more are coming?"
  Balin: "Everyone."
  Bilbo: "How many more?"
  Balin: "Everyone"
  Bilbo: "How many is everyone?"
  Balin: "Everyone."
  • "Cheese knife?"
  • "Allow me to introduce the leader of our company, Thorin Pikachu."
  • Thorin: "...he looks gross."
  • Balin is increasingly deluded about the hidden passages into the mountain:
  Balin: There is no way into the mountain.
  Gandalf: That is not true...
  Balin: There is no way into the mountain.
  Fili: If there is a key, ("No way!") there must be a door.
  Balin: No!
  Kili: There's another way in!
  Balin: There is no fucking way into the mountain.
  • The "Fool of a Took" scene.
  • "YOU SHALL NOT cook!"
  • The Goblin-Cleaver, a kickass blade forged by Elvis
  • Bombur catching a stick of dynamite whose explosion crushes his chair...
  • Radagast blowing an Airhorn using his pipe.

• Aladdin: The saucerer of Agrabah
  • "Arabian sauce!"
    • "Arabian cake!"
    • "Arabian cock!" (Censored screen where they can't show it)
  • "All this bread for a redhead?" (Shows Aladdin with Ariel's hair)
  • "These guys don't appreciate my 'fro!"
  • "Riff-raff!" *ruff ruff*
  Guard: You won't get away so easyseasy!
  Aladdin: You think that was easyseasy?
  Razoul: You two, over that way, and you, FUCK OFF!
  • "Stop, thief!" "Sandal!" "Mah boi!" "Gandalf!"
  • "Gotta eat to live, gotta steal to eat, gotta steal to live, gotta live to eat, tell you all about it when I got the ta-tas!"
  • Abu rapidly stabbing the sword swallower down the throat.
  Sultan: The law says you must be married to Prince, by your next birthday.
  Jasmine: The law is wrong.
  Sultan: You betrayed the law!
  Jasmine: If I do marry, I want it to be for the lulz!
  • "Have some crack, pretty polly!" *violently shoves cracker down Iago's throat*
  • The villain's ambitions:
  Jafar: Soon, I will be princess!
  • What happens to the sultan:
  Iago: And then, I stuffed the crack down his ass!
  • "Reveal to me the one ring!"
  • "Pretty lady, buy pot! No finer pot in Brazil!"
    • "Would the lady like a FISH?
  • Aladdin falling off a building, immediately followed by Abu blinking to the death music from Super Mario Bros.
  • "Uh, Abu says...you kinda look like a duck!"
  • Abu being sent into a hidden room in Super Mario Bros. after being tossed through a pot.
  • Jafuf-a-Jafuf.
  • "Can your friends do sis? Can your friends do sas? Can your friends pull a penis out their ass?"
    • "Do you smoke? Mind if I doo-doo?"
    • "Three wishes to be exact. And ix-nay on the wishing for dick!"
    • "Life is your restaurant and I'm Mega Man!"
    • The applause sign buzzing to the Imperial March.
  • "Rule number one: I can't kill anybody."
    "Rule number two: I can't kill anybody else."
    "Rule number three: I can't make anybody fall in love with the dead."
    "Rule number four: (Genie plays Stars and Stripes Forever)"
  • Aladdin's wish:
  Genie: How about it? What is it you want most?
  Aladdin: Well, there's this girl...
  Genie: EH! Wrong! I can't kill anybody, remember?
  • "Can you make me a prick?"
  • "You marry the chump husband and you become the salt!"

• Obama and O'Reilly's excellent atrocities
  • "That's why we changed it, so that we further changed it, so that many people further changed the original law, saying you were supposed to be able to further change it."
  • "I think that what we have to do is make sure that here in America if you work hard you can get head. You know, if you worked hard not only did you get a good job, but you also got a good blowjob."
  • "When someone goes number 2 on my ground, that's an act of terror."
  • "What some people are saying is I am African American, some people say I am a zombie, what I say is that I am a smurf." " I say you're a faggot."
  • "I got a letter from Mr. O'Reilly: Mr. President you FUCKIN' SUCK!!!"

• Donald Trumps Residential Debug
  • "Mr Trump, you have said you'll bring back millions of jobs, and -" "I will release right now!"

• Donald Trumps everything and everyone
  • "And if a candidate runs over, you'll hear this." (Horse racing buzzer)
  • "I don't frankly have time to use my brain right now."
  • "The hugs I remember most are the hugs I gave to your wife."
  • "The evidence is now clear that the majority of people coming across the border are not from Mexico. They're coming from the Mushroom Kingdom."
  • "Chris, if you're looking for someone to speak the truth, then I ain't your guy. There is a reason I have eight trillion dollars in debt. There is a reason I have eighteen STDs. I don't tell the truth. I don't honor commitments. I don't reason with people. And I don't do what I said I would do."
  • "What I say is what I say, and what I say is 'Trump or get the fuck out!'"
  • "We need to watch Big Trouble in Little China right now!"
  • "We need to build thousands of toilets across the border so that Mexicans at the border can pee legally. I was at the border last week. Mexicans are pissing everywhere, and the Border Patrol is pissing too. Pee going out and pee coming in. Pee pouring across the border. That's what's happening, whether you like it or not!"
  • "The first thing we need to do is improve Obama's hair."
  • "We need to construct more pylons right now!"
  • Trump's Blazing Blenders.
    Donald Trump: These things can blend anything. Watch this. (starts throwing the following into the blender:) Apple, banana, orange, pine-apple, coconut, ham-mer, screw-driver, gasoline, lighter! Check this out!
    (the blender starts blending these things, as one of the interviewers just looks at Trump. Eventually, the blender ignites and explodes, sending it flying out of the stadium.)
    Donald Trump: (Beat) I'm sorry...

• Spiderman - Peter the Park ranger
  • When Peter delivers the pizza:
  Peter: Pizza time.
  Woman: You're late.
  (scene cuts to Peter having Gandalf's beard and wizard hat)
  Peter (as Gandalf): A wizard is never late.
  Woman: I'm not paying for those.
  Peter: Why?
  Woman: You're late.
  Peter: Look give me another chance!
  Woman: I'm not paying for those.
  Peter: Give me a f**cking chance!
  Woman: I'm not paying for—
  (cue Peter as Spidey screaming, while the woman has an indifferent expression)
  • J. Jonah Jameson suggest a headline: Super Mario Bros. 2's main theme.
  • Spidey and Doc Ock shoot at each other with Star Wars blasters, complete with sound effects.
  • JJ becomes He-Man!
  • "Oh, that boy of yours has a nice ass." (Aunt May hits the bank teller's hand) "Ow!"
  • The musical interlude:
  Raindrops keep falling on my dick, and just like Lady Gaga, nothing seems to fit! My head keeps falling on the raindrops so I did me some talking to MacGyver, and I said I didn't like his stupid haircut!
  • Doc Ock vs Spidey
  Ock: You're getting on my nerves.
  Spidey: Give me another chance!
  Ock (as Mr. Aziz): Last chance. (face changes into Mr. Aziz's face) GO!
  • "Find [Spider-Man]. Or I'll blow up Joe's Pizza."
• Jeremy Jahns critically and objectively dissects Ghostbusters
  • "You shouldn't compare the remake to the original; the remake should stand on its own. You shouldn't compare my head to my balls; my balls should stand on their own. You shouldn't compare Ghandi to Hitler; Hitler should stand on his own."
  • "This movie had me piss myself quite often throughout the movie, which is a lot more than I thought it was gonna do. I never shit myself during the movie. I wanted to shit. Dude, I'm a grown-ass man. Make me shit."
  • "My biggest gripe hands down in this entire thing is Batman's not really in this movie."
  • "One scene in particular, Leslie Jones shits on Kate McKinnon's face, and everyone in the audience climaxed."

• Gordon Ramsay Stuffs the Hoff
  • "And this is the stuffing?" "This is the stuffing."