Funny moments from the sprawling multiverse of The Lone Traveler.
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Harry Potter: The Lone Traveller
Stories of the Lone Traveler
- Both in- and out-of-universe and provided by God while the Traveler is in Arcadia.God: Can I tell you a secret?
Traveler: Sure.
God: I did deliberately turn off the Omniscience once to see how thinking beings dealt with it—I decided that I owed you a reward for putting up with that. That's why a number of mammals get to engage in recreational sex instead of having mating seasons. I thought you deserved some payment for that part of the process. - During the 'Twists and Turns' arc, it takes Harry several minutes to stop laughing when he finds out that Mad-eye Moody—one of the biggest badasses in the Potterverse—has a rabbit patronus. Not a hare, or something mangy and mean looking, or the Beast of Caerbannog, but a tiny, fluffy, bunny rabbit that looks like something you'd cuddle.
Further Adventures of the Lone Traveler
Harry Potter; Lone Traveler, God, and Wizard
- Harry's banter with Q.
- Yoda sitting in a reclining chair, napping.
Side Stories and Recursive Fanfic
Here Comes the Marine
- Someone tries to kidnap Harry's little sister, Kelly Gibbs, so he headbutts the man in the crotch. The EMT's—not knowing about Harry's accidental magic—can't understand how a child caused so much damage.EMT: Your son must have a head made out of steel.Gibbs: Well, he is the son of a Marine...
Professor of Defense
- The Evans sisters get an inheritance test done at Gringotts. The Traveler notices that their maternal great-grandfather was a Dumbledore (the headmaster's uncle) and starts laughing hysterically. The idea of the look on his face when someone calls him 'Cousin Albus' sets "Professor Septimus" off again.
Consequences and Omakes
This thread is a gold mine.- Sneaky members of House Duras show up and try to kill a very young Worf. What does Helena Rozhenko do? Brains one of 'em with a frying pan.
- Chiun's letter to the Raikage in the aftermath of the failed attempt to kidnap Hinata.
Plot Bunnies: From the mind of dunuelos
It's the residing place of the crack.- Contains chapters about Travelers who are...a bit different
- The Lone BAMF. He teaches the local Harry to be a badass. He has taken a magical oath to punch the balls of every Dumbledore who has fucked up the local Harry's life. He still has the phoenix song exit like the Lone Traveler, but it's the tune of We Will Rock You.
- The Lone Hedonist, who uses his drifting around the multiverse to get laid as much as possible.
