Funny / The Last Boy Scout

• Jimmy: "I don't believe this! We're being beat up by the inventor of Scrabble!"
• Jimmy: "What would Joe do...(Beat) He'd kill everyone, and then smoke some cigarettes."
• When Joe finds out Jimmy's leather pants cost six hundred and fifty dollars.
  They don't, like, have a TV in them or something?
  • Becomes a Brick Joke when Jimmy and Joe find the $6 million dollars used to bribe the senator:
  Joe: Buy yourself a new pair of pants.
• During a car chase, Jimmy is drawing a picture of a bomb but as he tries to show it to the bodyguards, the drawing resembles "an apple with lines coming out of it" and Joe thinks the bodyguards will say, 'Don't open the briefcase, it's full of fresh fruit!', with the text "bomb" being spelled as "BOM", causing them to be fired upon the when the bodyguards see it. What makes that part even funnier is this line:
  Joe: I forgot to tell you, "BOM" means "Fuck you" in Polish.
• After finding a dead squirrel that three kids tossed in his car.
  Joe: I think I fucked a squirrel to death last night.
• When Joe takes Jimmy to his home.
  Jimmy: Wow, an actual house. I was expecting a cave, with like skulls and shit.
• During the climax, on the way to foil the bad guy's evil scheme, Jimmy and Joe come across a couple of cops, at which point Jimmy realises he's forgotten to tell Joe something rather important:
  Jimmy: Oh, by the way, forgot to tell you; you're wanted for murder.
  Joe: What?!
• Shortly after Joe's final fight with The Dragon in which the latter ends up in a Helicopter Blender after getting shot several times, Joe suddenly starts dancing a jig, as he had promised himself earlier. Complete with actual Irish music.
• Joe and Darian, trying to get some guy's car from him after crashing into his pool:
  Joe: Give me the keys.
  Pool Owner: No way.
  Joe: [Holds his gun to Darian's head; wearily] Give me the keys or I shoot the kid.
  Darian: [Nervous] Dad...?
  Joe: It's okay, sweetie.
• Joe and Jimmy practicing one-liners at the end.
  • "All I know is this. Sky's blue, water's wet, and Satan Claus is out there. And Jimmy, he's only getting stronger."
• Milo losing it during the car chase with Joe and Jimmy.
  Milo: Push this vile fuck off the road, man!
• Jimmy is brought to Milo after being captured.
  Joe: Hey Flash. Rescue attempt?
  Jimmy: Blow me.
  Milo: You must be James.
  Jimmy: (incredulously) James?
  Joe: Does that with everybody. Calls me Joseph.
  Milo: I trust you're alone?
  Jimmy: No, I brought the Vienna Boys Choir with me. What, is everybody stupid around here?
  [A henchman grabs him and slams his head onto a car bonnet]
  Joe: Just you, kid.
• Marcone meets with a captive Joe.
  Joe: Well if it isn't Shelly Marcone, himself.
  Marcone: Careful now, son. Only my friends call me 'Shelly'.
  Joe: You got friends? When did this happen?

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