Funny / The Kids in the Hall

The Kids in the Hall, being one of the funniest shows of The '90s, has too many to list. But to name some highlights:

• Every Chicken Lady sketch.
  • Dave's face and Mark's smirk in Chicken Lady's Blind Date after Mark delivers the "Straight out of my body and onto your plate" line makes this whole sketch.
  • "Gotta get laid. Gotta get laid. Gotta get laid."
• "The difficult thing about being a mass murderer isn't the 'murdering' part. It's the 'mass' part."
• "The Affair" is Refuge in Audacity at its finest.
• "Sex Girl Patrol" is amazingly stupid.
• The guy who just can't remember the name of "Citizen Kane."
• The best Kids sketches are the ones that go way down the rabbit hole very quickly, such as the sketch where one couple is way too comfortable around another couple.
• The "Empty Promises" guy who keeps making increasingly generous promises and stoically never follows through.
• "My pen! My pen!!!"
• The one with the guy who sexually harassed himself is classic Kids In The Hall nonsense.
  • And speaking of sexual harassment.....
  • Hell, speaking of nonsense, how about the potato salad lady?
• The "Womyn" sketch, in which five poker buddies one-by-one cycle with absolute sincerity through reasons why they want to be more like women, all from a bizarrely quasi-pro-feminist-but-utterly-clueless standpoint:
  Guy #5: I'd like to be a dyke.
  Guy #4: Who wouldn't? [snickers]
  Guy #5: Don't be crass! I meant that. [beat] I'd like to be buried in the sisterhood of women.
  Guy #3: Yeah. Lesbians are so great. They get so much done in a day.
  Guy #5: Yeah. Yeah, you know why? Cause they get it done together. There's no competition. With them, it's "Go team!", all the way.
  Guy #1: Wow. Womyn together, huh?
  Guy #4: Is that "womyn" with a "y"?
  Guy #1: [disgusted] Aw — d'you have to ask?
• "The Nap" sketch, where Dave wakes up from a nap to discover that he's been asleep for 20 minutes. In that time his job has become redundant, his wife has had a baby, and left him for his best friend.
  Dave: I've lost my job, I've lost my wife, I've lost TWENTY MINUTES OF MY LIFE!
• Pretty much the whole "Art Studio" sketch, making fun of political correctness. But especially this exchange.
  Black Student: Where are the nude models of colour?
  Transgender Student: The people of girth? The handicapable? The elderly?
  Gay Student: The queer?
  Teacher: I'm sorry, but naked, black, fat, crippled dykes are hard to find!
• The Shitty Soup sketch. It is an absolutely idiotic idea for a sketch, that's peppered with a gratuitous amount of Breaking the Fourth Wall. It's the kind of skit only the Kids In The Hall would do.
• This scene was written in haste.
  Dave: [dressed as a teenage girl] Would anyone like a cop of coffee?
  [Cut to reveal Mark standing next to him, dressed as a Toronto police officer, stoically staring into the middle distance while coffee streams from his sleeves]
• The one with the dock worker who cannot stop using the word "ascertain."
• Buddy in "Girls of Summer":
  Buddy: Hang on, Sylvia! Gimme that stick!
  Sylvia: But you're a man!
  Buddy: (to camera) Labels.
  • Umpire: Strike one!
    Buddy: (to camera) It had attitude.
    Umpire: Strike two!
    Buddy: (to camera) I was thinking about something else.
• The final episode had "Banned" sketches, one of which was a Parody of Crosses the Line Twice, "Hitler [Blanks] A Donkey":
  Kid: Daddy, what's that bad man doing to my pet donkey?
  Farmer: Well, that's not just a bad man, son. That there's Hitler. And he's bleeping your pet donkey.
  (Cue Bruce McCulloch dressed as Hitler fucking a donkey.)
  Farmer: Damn shame.
• Paul Bellini dancing on The Kids' grave in the final episode.
  Paul: Thank God that's finally over.
• The Dr. Seuss Bible. Pure genius.
• From the 2022 season, the "Masturbation Policy" sketch, which... quickly escalates.
• The first "Hotel La Rut" sketch, which makes hilarious use of the "Mr. Wu" technique as described by Orson Welles: two women named Sylvie (Mark) and Michelle (Scott) wonder continually about where Michelle's boyfriend Tony is, repeating themselves about him to the point where, when Michelle tries to have sex with another guest (Kevin) he can't get it up because he's wondering about where Tony is too.
• Queen Elizabeth II (Scott) hooking up with Buddy Cole's adopted humanoid beaver son (Bruce) in the "Chalet 2000" episode.
• Buddy Cole on finding love in prison.
  "I'll never forget his first words to me. 'Ya might as well ya got no choice.' Our love is based on fantasy. I pretend that he rapes me and he rapes me."