Funny / The In-Laws

• First, here's Sheldon:
  • "There's no reason to shoot at me! I'm a dentist!"
  • "I have flames on my car. I HAVE FLAMES ON MY CAR!"
  • "That's it? The dental thing? I'm a dead man!"
  • "Oh, God, don't let me die on West 31st Street!"
  • "I'm being irrational? I sit there listening to stories about the Guacamole Act of 1917 and tsetse flies carrying off small children, and I'm being irrational?!?"
  • "STOP WITH THE SOUP!"
  • "I've had only four women in my life - two of them my wife, one before, one after."
  • "Why am I getting excited? The central piece of evidence in the biggest federal crime since the atomic spy case AND YOU WANT TO KNOW WHY I'M GETTING EXCITED?!"
  • "You're dead, right? Good!"
  • {when he first sees the general's scar) "A *Z*?"
• Then, there's Vince:
  • "You know, I'm such a great driver, it's incomprehensible that they took my license away."
  • "Serpentine, Shel, serpentine!"
  • "Are you interested in joining? I tell you, the benefits are fantastic. The trick is not to get killed, that's really the key to the benefit program."
  • "...tsetse flies the size of bald eagles..." In addition, his whole monologue about "red tape in the bush" and the Guacamole Act of 1917.
  • "You can rinse now, dear."
  • "You know, sometimes I'm so smart, I scare myself."
  • "Go back to your lunches! Do I meddle in your affairs?"
  • This conversation with Sheldon:
  Sheldon: (after Vince has asked him to lunch) Vince, it's 9:30 in the morning.
  Vince: You never had an early lunch?
  • Also this:
  Sheldon: (after a fast cab ride) Have we stopped moving?
  Vince: Yes, we did.
  Sheldon: Did we hit the little boy on 6th Avenue?
  Vince: No, we missed him by a good foot and a half.
• One of the mooks chasing Sheldon comes up against an emergency door, and tries to open it, to no avail. He then says to himself, "This is an emergency", runs against the door, and breaks it open.
• One of the crew members on Vince's plane giving Sheldon the standard air flight safety speech in Chinese.
• A firing squad sings "Trees" and "Buffalo Gal Won't You Come Home Tonight?".