Funny / The Expanse

The Novels

Leviathan Wakes

• Miller opens negotiations with Fred by demanding proof that Fred's capable of destroying the Protogen station, since his view of the OPA is that of a guerrilla outfit with good funding. Then Holden and Naomi inform him that he's talking to Colonel Frederick Lucius Johnson, The Butcher of Anderson Station, respected by both the inner planets and the Belt.
  Holden: I thought you knew.
• Miller's Big Damn Heroes moment in the series was a Moment of Awesome, but the book also had Casual Danger Dialogue at its finest;
  Holden: No one shoot the guy with the hat!
  Amos: Guy is probably a cop.
  Holden: Extra especially do not shoot any cops.
  Naomi: They might all be cops.
  Holden: Cops don’t carry small, easily concealable machine guns and ambush people from stairwells. We call those death squads.
• After Holden and Naomi finally get together, they initially try to keep their relationship a secret from Alex and Amos. Key word being try.
  Holden: Naomi, can you pass the pepper?
  Amos: [drops his fork] Holy shit, you guys are doing it!
• After discovering Julie's protomolecule-mutated corpse, Naomi asks Holden what they should do. Holden semi-jokingly suggests Venus, because there's "[n]othing interesting happening on Venus." Cut to the end of the book, after Miller convinces the resurrected Julie to take Eros there instead of Earth, and Venus becomes a lot more interesting.
• When the Donnager is under attack, Shed quietly starts talking about how insane it all is and what long-term decompression does to the body. Amos just replies:
  "Well, that's awful fucking cheerful, Doc. Thanks for that."
  • Then Alex follows up complaining that they won't know if anything's happening until the hull comes apart around them, with Amos then loudly saying:
  "Boy, everybody is just a fucking pile of fun right now."

Caliban's War

• Amos and Holden, in disguise, are left alone with a squad of Martian marines. Amos starts making fun of the marines and getting in their faces, while Holden quietly panics. Afterwards, when Holden furiously calls Amos out, Amos points out that Holden was so visibly nervous that he was drawing attention to himself, and Amos gave them a story about an asshole engineer.
• Avasarala reaction to finding Bobbie and Amos tossing Mei around the machine shop.
  When they tell you to play catch with a child, they don't mean that she's the f—that she's the ball. Give that child to me.
• Prax having to deal with Mei hearing Avasarala's usual charming turn of phrase:
  Avasarala: (reacting to Fred Johnson nuking the protomolecule super-soldiers) Son of a whore!
  Mei: What's a whore, Daddy?
  Prax: It's a kind of frost, honey.^note See "hoarfrost."

Cibola Burn

• Holden sees a man with a death-slug on his pants. He deals with it by knocking the guy over, yanking his pants off, and throwing them away.
  "Well, the price you pay for not letting your boss know you couldn't see well enough to avoid slugs is now you have no pants. So go back inside and see if you can find some way to cover your shame."
• Between the hilariously incompetent engineering team and Havelock's Casual Danger Dialogue, the entirety of Naomi's escape from the Edward Israel is a great break from the horrors of the storm on Ilus. The fact that Havelock was the one who trained them in the first place makes it doubly funny.
• When Elvi tells Holden that the oncocidals are curing everyone's blindness, he nearly collapses from exhaustion and stumbles to a tent to sleep...only for Miller to immediately appear and drag him off to shut down the security system. When Elvi finds him again, she thinks he's hallucinating from fatigue.

Nemesis Games

• When Amos goes to Earth, he's detained by the U.N. because Avasarala wants to know what Jim Holden's assassin is doing on Earth. At first, Amos is incensed that the U.N. doesn't think that he's a mechanic, but he then admits that he likes the idea that his secret U.N. dossier lists him as an assassin.
• Amos calls Chrisjen Avasarala, at that point quite probably the most powerful person on Earth and in the solar system "Chrissie". She, in turn, threatens to have the police "beat him gently with cattle-prods" if he ever calls her that again. Naturally, this doesn't stop him, because when they meet again on Luna, he calls her that again.
  “Don’t fucking call me that. I’m the acting secretary-general of the United Nations, not your favorite stripper.”
  Amos spread his hands. “Could be room for both.”
• In traditional Holden fashion, Holden decides to press a random button with no regard as to what it might do. He and Colonel Johnson lampshade this:
  "Jesus Christ. That really is how you go through life, isn't it."
• Patel saves Holden's life, incurring his eternal gratefulness.
  “In thanks, you may now have all my stuff. I don't care about any of it anymore.” “Including the coffee maker, sir?” “Almost all my stuff.”

Babylon's Ashes

Persepolis Rising

• Avasarala, as always, is a delight. In particular:
  Avasarala: It's the reward of old age. You live long enough, and you can watch everything you worked for become irrelevant.
  Drummer: You're not selling it.
  Avasarala: Fuck you, then. Die young. See if I care.

The TV Series

Season 1

Episode #1: "Dulcinea"

• Holden, despite being the straight man of the crew, is the source of most of these in this episode. To wit:
  • Holden gets to demonstrate how thrust gravity works. . . by getting slammed to the deck in the middle of a null-g session with Ade.
  • Holden gets his own back after being pressed by Captain McDowell to talk about his past and why Holden would leave a place like Earth to buck ice on the Canterbury. Holden's response? He'll tell the story just as soon as McDowell explains his porcelain cat collection. Cue immediate Verbal Backspace.
  • The Knight investigating the wreck of the Scopuli.
  Holden: What about that thing that looks like a big hole in the side?
  Naomi: Ladar says it's a big hole in the side.

Episode #3: "Remember the Cant"

• When the Canterbury survivors are held aboard the brig of the Donnager, Shed awkwardly tries to build rapport with their Martian marine guard while Amos is more interested in taunting him.
  Shed: *stammers* I dated a Martian once. Yeah, she was beautiful, smart, and uh... I love how industrious Martians are. I remember her mother, she etched a, uh, trellis. She etched a trellis on their air dome...
  Amos: I bet those pretty tin suits bind up something awful in the crotch. I mean, all that fancy gear and the one thing they don't allow for is scratching your junk.
  Shed: Yeah, I get jock itch too sometimes. Pretty bad, actually. What I recommend to my patients is Uvazole, it's an anti-fungal cream and the best thing about it is if you put it under your tongue, it, uh, helps to relax...
  Amos: He doesn't need ball cream, Shed, 'cause he's got no balls. The Martian Navy took that away from him when he joined up. Those tin suits are anatomically correct.
  Marine: You want me to put you down again?
  Amos: Come on in. Try.

• When Miller and Havelock are patrolling Ceres during the heightened tensions caused by the destruction of the Canterbury and Holden's message that Mars was responsible for the attack, they are approached by a Mormon missionary. Havelock gives him their boss's information as his own and says that if they don't get a response at first, they should just keep calling repeatedly because he's forgetful.
  • What sells it is Miller's reaction. First he looks irritated at his green partner and his eagerness to make headway in the population, until Havelock gives his name as "Captain Shahid." After that, he's struggling to keep the smile off his face.

Episode #4: "CQB"

• Miller went to a coroner to inspect a corpse of someone linked to Julie Mao. He tries to get a memory crypt implant out of the corpse by himself by stabbing a tool into the leg three times. All in delightful gory details.
  Miller: Well, it's not like I'm killing the guy.
• The thing that Holden's team uses to patch one of the holes made in Donnager's hull by enemy fire? It's the Emergency Procedures Manual.

Episode #5: "Back to the Butcher"

• Alex explaining how he's done everything so no one knows they survived the attack on the Donnager, only for Amos to ask for confirmation, then ask if that's the case, who just sent them a message. Alex looks in disbelief, both Naomi and Holden just stare disappointed at Alex.
• The Canterbury survivors finally get to see some news reports from Ceres. Holden's reaction to discovering that he's now a revolutionary icon on par with Che Guevara is utter stunned silence while his crewmates get a few jabs in...
  Alex: Well, partner, it's gonna be kinda hard for you to stay anonymous now.
  Amos: Let me know if you want your face to look a little different.
• Holden's gleeful reaction to the Roci having a real coffee maker, only to despair when he can't find the beans.
  • At the end of the episode, he finally does find the beans, and brews himself a cup while triumphant and heroic music plays.

Episode #6: "Rock Bottom"

• As Holden and Naomi are drowning their sorrows at Tycho's local watering hole, Holden pours out some shots for all their fallen Cant crew members. He gives a special shout-out to Shed, who died back on the Donnager.
  Jim: To Shed. Always generous, thoughtful. Sometimes, a whiny little prick. We're going to miss you, pal. Wherever you are, I hope no one there needs medical attention!
  (Both Jim and Naomi burst into laughter)

Episode #8: "Salvage"

• Kenzo complains about being sent into the derelict stealth ship ahead of the rest of the crew like "some canary in a coalmine". A minute later we see the helmet-cam feeds on the Roci's bridge...Kenzo's is labelled "Canary".

Episode #10: "Leviathan Wakes"

• Early in the episode, when Miller and Holden raid a drug cabinet.
  Miller: Are you a medic?
  Holden: Ice hauler.
  Miller: Great.
• Thomas Jane as Miller really hamming it up during tense confrontation between hired mercs and CPM goons. His purposely exaggerated Belter accent is especially hilarious.
  Miller: Beratnas, dese Earthers ain't gonna let us out, mang... Dey ain't never gonna let us out! We're just meat for their machine! Mang, just like all dem other Beltersss back there, yah!? BLOOD'S ON THE WALLS, BERATNAS! WE JUST RISE UP! (his voice starts cracking) WE'RE GONNA RISE UUUUUUP!!! ^note Belter Creole for "brothers."
• Miller and Holden finally arrived at Eros Station's docks. In near-total despair due to radiation eating away at them, Miller starts hallucinating Julies Mao (again) welcoming him to Rocinante.
  Miller: Beautiful.
  Holden: What? [leans closer]
  Amos: You guys look like shit.

Season 2

Episode #1: "Safe"

• The firs thing Miller does after recovering from radiation poisoning is to go use the coffee machine aboard the Rocinante.

Episode #2: "Doors and Corners"

• Alex and Amos are in a bar on Tycho Station, the former ranting about all the people they failed to save on Eros. Then he turns, and sees that Amos is long gone, having been replaced by a woman he bribed with drinks to listen to Alex so he wouldn't have to.
• The cheese story Miller tells as he and the crew sit down to dinner. After he and his colleagues busted an illegal imported cheese vendor on Ceres, all the confiscated stock mysteriously vanished from the evidence lockup. The captain at the time called everyone together to yell at them, and somehow missed the lingering aroma of cheese fart in the room.
  • As everyone is getting the giggles out of their system, Miller finishes it up by saying "Teddy the Detector, this guy was not." Amos asks who that is. Miller and all the other spacers then have to explain about Teddy, a talking atmosphere leak detector cartoon used to teach spacer kids about emergencies.
• The Boarding Pods are disguised as FedEx containers. In fact it's implied they actually are cargo containers that have been turned into field improvised breaching pods.
  • Miller, clearly unused to working in microgravity, tries to grab his helmet that floats just out of his reach while he's strapped down during the deployment.
  • "Stay away from the aqua!" Miller almost looks like he'd prefer to have been hallucinating.

Episode #3: "Static"

• While drowning his sorrows at a Tycho bar Miller offers Amos a shot from his bottle, which he readily accepts. Amos proceeds to pour himself a second...then a third. Cue Miller subtly moving the bottle out of his reach.
  • The bartender decides Miller's had enough, confiscates his bottle, and pours herself a glass.
  "That's my tip."
• Drummer going over the Rochi's damage report after the assault on Thoth station. Naomi and Alex are obviously disturbed by how close they came to dying, but Drummer is cheerful bordering on glee looking over the battle damage assessment.
  Drummer: Oh ho ho, that one just missed puncturing your reactor, see? You guys would have melted, instantly!
• Avasarala’s WTF reaction to receiving information about the derelict stealth ship from Fred Johnson.

Episode #4: "Godspeed"

• As Jules-Pierre Mao is being questioned about the stealth ship, he feigns ignorance by claiming that Protogen has complete autonomy so long as they don't have any budget issues. Avasarala quips that if they can wage a war and turn a profit, all without going over budget, Earth needs to hire these people.
• While a dramatic moment, the palpable confusion on the entire cast's faces after Eros starts flying towards Earth is priceless.

Episode #5: "Home"

• The brief "WTF?!" look that Amos and Holden share when Naomi advises Miller to "think happy thoughts."
• Drummer gleefully Flipping the Bird belter-style to Col. Johnson after a smartass remark.
• "I'm gonna go walk my pet nuke."
• "You're on Eros, kid. Though not what it used to be. It's a step up actually." Oh, Miller.

Episode #6: "Paradigm Shift"

• After Holden informs Amos and Alex that he and Naomi are now a couple, Amos starts cheering and Alex starts complaining. Not because Holden and Naomi are together, but because they already knew it and placed bets as to when it began and Alex just lost. Right after, Holden checks to make sure that Amos is ok with it. He admits he and Naomi are Like Brother and Sister, but "Don't get me wrong, I'd do her if she let me." Holden's facial expression is a priceless mix of Flat "What" and Too Much Information.
  Holden: (Beat) I'm glad we had this talk.
  • Not to mention Amos Wet-Willying Alex, who, per the terms of the bet, was expecting a punch in the arm.
• A blink-and-you'll-miss-it moment on Tycho, Diogo can be seen walking out of a bar with a girl proudly declaring: "This one's for you, Miller!" ^note Miller's last words to Diogo—who he'd been razzing the entire mission about maybe being a virgin—were "Hey kid... go get laid, will you?"

Episode #8: "Pyre"

• Alex's blink-and-you'll-miss-it reaction to Drummer shooting two of the Renegade Splinter Faction OPA traitors, then walking to the medbay without him. It's a weird combination of annoyance, underreaction, and confusion.

Episode #9: "The Weeping Somnambulist"

• Avasarala is once again being both funny and awesome. When discussing the differences between Earth and Mars with Draper, the ambassador asks where she's going with it.
  Avasarala: Wherever I goddamn like!
  • Followed up a moment later by this gem when the MCRN staff try to shut down Bobbie's testimony:
  Avasarala: Whoever the fuck you are, stand down and let her speak.
• As they're preparing to go into Ganymede and find Dr. Strickland and Prax's daughter, Holden tells Prax the plan is to get on the moon, then worry about how to find them. Prax incredulously asks if all their plans are this vague, and Amos shrugs and says, "This is about average." When Prax remarks that they must have been very lucky up to now, Amos plainly says, yeah, they have been, and Holden gives him an annoyed look.

Episode #11: "Here There Be Dragons"

• Alex is waiting aboard the Roci, running silent in orbit around Cyllene while everyone else goes to Ganymede. And bored out of his goddamned mind. He sings along to a Martian techno cover of "I'm So Lonesome I Could Cry," fidgets with his pistol, and then decides to fling the last drops of soda from a can in zero-g and see how many flips he can do before catching and drinking them at the other end of the compartment. When a sudden change in MCRN blockade activity prompts him to find a way to sneak into Ganymede, his reaction is half Oh, Crap! and half "Thank God, Finally!"
• When the Roci crew reaches Umea's hideout, they find her and her men....eating pizza. She even offers them some. Then it immediately turns into a shootout.
• Shortly after the pizza party shootout, one of Umea's goons throws a grenade through the door. Amos acts quickly and throws the grenade right back through the hatch before closing it. Cue the grenade going boom, then alarms sounding off, then gratuitous amounts of screaming, gunfire, equipment getting destroyed, and finally an airlock getting breached and spacing everything inside. Throughout the whole thing, Amos's face just screams of "What the FUCK kind of grenade was that?"
  Holden: (readies himself to go in) ...Wait here.
  Naomi: No chance.
  Amos: Hell no.
  Prax: No fucking way.

Episode #12: "The Monster and the Rocket"

• Bobbie trying out the cucumber sandwiches on Mao's ship and having an incredibly satisfied expression, much to Cotyar's transparent incredulity/affront and her rampant unrepentance thrown right back. She is later seen hoarding them for later.
  • Furthermore, when Avasarala growls at Mao to just "get to the fucking point!", Bobbie can be seen in the background raising her eyebrows in surprise.
• Mao is both livid and flabbergasted that Avasarala even arrested his cousin as political leverage. He's a Buddhist monk.

Episode #13: "Caliban's War"

• In the middle of her beat-down through Mao's ship, Bobbie holds an... interesting conversation with one of the "guards".
  Bobbie: Ask yourself. Is he worth it? The man you serve here. You're about to lay down your life for an unworthy master.
  Employee: ...I'm a electrician.
  • After she talks him down, he asks her to rough him up a little and stuff him in a cargo locker so that his bosses don't think that he just gave up. She just shrugs in response.
• Earlier, when Bobbie suggests a means of escape, and Avasarala shoots it down:
  Bobbie: You're right, you'd never make that climb.
  Avasarala: Jesus Christ, not because I'm old! He's been shot!
  Cotyar: Also, she's really old.
  • Moments later Cotyar tells Bobbie that if she can get to their shuttle, her power armor is there, and she can come back to rescue them. When Bobbie asks why he bothered bringing the armor with them, the look Cotyar gives her is a hilarious mixture of "What an fool" and "Do I really have to point out the obvious?"
• There's a Running Gag in this episode and the next one of Avasarala's terrible bedside manner in regard to Cotyar's gunshot wound. Including:
  Avasarala: You're losing a lot of blood.
  Cotyar: I'll try to bleed slower.
  • And when Cotyar passes out while trying to negotiate with the ship's captain, Avasarala pokes his wound to wake him up and he gives the most pained "Owwww!" possible.
    Avasarala: Sorry, you cannot go into shock. Tell him I need comm access.
    Cotyar: (Gives her a look that screams "WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT!") (Beat) She needs comm access!

Season 3

Episode #1: "Fight of Flight"

• Bobbie needs to seize the ship, but she also has to leave Avasarala and Cotyar. Avasarala is understandably not keen on this plan, but Bobbie does it anyway.
  Bobbie: I'll be right back.
  Avasarala: You're fired!
• That electrician Bobbie talked down? She really did shove him in a locker. Then she pulls him back out because she needs his help.
  Theo: I was rooting for you!
  Bobbie: That's what kept me going.
• When Bobbie walks back into the room, Avasarala panics and shoots her, which has no effect on her armor.
  Bobbie: Well done, madame.
  • Avasarala's frazzled "Huh?" when Cotyar takes back his gun.
• Holden's coffee maker malfunctions, which is the last straw after a series of terrible events last season. He smashes it in a rage.
  Prax: ...You should try tea.
• Bobbie and Cotyar put their differences behind them as a result of the Enemy Mine situation they're in. By the end of the show they seem to be on the way to becoming Fire-Forged Friends:
  Cotyar: Good job, Marine.
  Bobbie: You too, spy.

Episode #2: "IFF"

• Bobbie advises Avasarala to squeeze her thighs together, to keep her blood from pooling in one spot from the G-forces. Avasarala, not realizing this, states that if Bobbie is trying to hit on her, she's wasting her time. Bobbie's response is a "WTF?" look over her shoulder.

Episode #3: "Assured Destruction"

• Amos helping Avasarala get used to walking in gravity shoes, telling her it's no different from walking in pumps.
  Avasarala: What would you know about walking in pumps?
  Amos: I didn't always work in space.
  • Bobbie's expressions in that scene are also worth a chuckle. First she's obviously worried about Avasarala not being able to keep her balance in the gravity shoes, and is ready to catch Avasarala if she tips over backwards. Then, when Avasarala asks Amos about pumps, you can practically see the lightbulb going on over Bobbie's head as the same thought hits her and she asks herself the same question. When Amos responds, you can practically hear her mind deciding deciding not to ask any more questions and then she visibly tries to ignore thinking about any of the implications of Amos' response even as she can't help cracking up a little, perhaps at the thought of the muscular, bearded Amos walking around in pumps.
• After Holden smashed the Rocinante's coffee maker to pieces in "Fight or Flight", its sorry remains are shown duct-taped into its booth in the galley. While that's slightly funny in itself, what makes it hilarious is that someone saw fit to scribble "Out of order" on the very obviously totaled device.
• Avasarala snarking at Naomi after the former OPA member argues that the Belt has as much of a right to the protomolecule as the UN and MCR do when Avasarala is arguing that the protomolecule needs to be completely destroyed:
  Avasarala: I'd say "Cry me a river" if I thought you could appreciate what one was.

Episode #4: "Reload"

• Avasarala telling Bobbie to try and convince the Roci crew to help them.
  Bobbie: I can't even get you to do what I want and you're half my size!
• The rescued Martian sailors try to seize control of the ship but get talked down seconds before Amos comes on the scene.
  Amos: Shit. Did I miss it?
• Holden brings in Avasarala to talk to Sinopoli, the Only Sane Man of the rescued Martians, who is understandably awestruck by being in the same room as her... much to her annoyance.
  Sinopoli: (stunned) You're Chrisjen Avasarala.
  Avasarala: Yes.
  Sinopoli: You're the UN Deputy Undersecretary.
  Avasarala: This is going to be very tedious if you remain this dim.
  Sinopoli: I, I don't understand. What the hell kind of a ship is this?
  Avasarala: Right, the tedious version, then.
  • Also, Bobbie giving a spin of her finger as if trying to tell Avasarala to "hurry it up."
  • Naturally, Sinopoli is dubious about how he's supposed to ask his C.O. to hail an admiral from the opposing side in the middle of a war.
  Avasarala: Or, Holden can space all three of you for being such intolerable idiots, I'm fine either way.

Episode #5: "Triple Point"

• One of the crewmen on the Agatha King has orders to keep anyone from entering the medbay, including Admiral Souther, who is normally in command of the ship, but has been relieved. When the Admiral approaches, hellbent on acting now that he's got proof of Erinwright's treachery, the crewman tries to stop him.
  MP: Sorry sir, no one is allowed in.
  Admiral Souther: Get the fuck out of my way, sailor.
  MP: (pauses, and then silently steps aside)

Episode #6: "Immolation"

• Listening to the team's nervous elevator chatter, and Naomi's reaction to it, while they're in the middle of storming the Mao facility. It starts with talking about power armor and ends up with Holden telling a story about how as a kid he grew a cubical watermelon in a box for a science project.
  Naomi: ... Are they hypoxic?
• During his Villainous Breakdown, Errinwright shares his real opinion of Sorento-Gillis' leadership. Volovodov can do nothing beside look down, hide her smirk, and nod her head in agreement.
  Errinwright: He doesn't care about treason: that's just him parroting you because you talked to him last. If he spoke to a janitor, he'd be passionately declaiming about a fucking mop. It's agonizing.
• invoked Doubles as a Heartwarming moment, but when Prax calls Amos his best friend in front of Mei, Amos gives him a shocked wide-eyed look and then appears thoughtful for a moment. You can see him thinking "The fuck? No one has called me that before..."

Episode #7: "Delta-V"

• invoked In a depressingly funny way, Maneo Jung-Espinoza is saddened to learn that his girl left him (and is sleeping with his brother to boot) and finds himself so low that he listens to a Belter Creole version of "All By Myself" and drinks from a urine collection bag.
• "The Ring: In stable orbit beyond Uranus." A pretty unfortunate choice of words, no?
• Monica, a reporter doing a biography on Holden's crew, asks him what he thinks about the Ring. Holden snarks that it kinda makes him want a donut.
• Monica offers to sleep with Amos if it will get him talking. He refuses, stating "I don't shit where I eat." Her male cameraman decides to try his hand, and Amos offers the same response. When he points out that Amos lives on a starship — in essence, he does shit where he eats — Amos counters that he doesn't shit in the galley.
• While it's also horrifying, Maneo's ultimate fate still counts as this considering how shockingly abrupt it is.

Episode #8: "It Reaches Out"

• After losing his temper with the Investigator, Holden notices that Amos is watching as he shouts "Fuck you!" at the otherwise-empty room.
  Holden: That may have looked weird.
  Amos: Hey, none of my business.
  • After a brief talk following that, Amos tells Holden that if he needs to vent and smash some stuff, he should go ahead. Just leave the coffee maker alone this time. Furthermore, when Holden tells Amos that he's fine, Amos just raises an eyebrow before leaving.
• After the above scene, Amos tells Alex about it and adds that he hacked the autodoc to check Holden's medical records. Alex angrily calls him out for violating Holden's privacy... then immediately asks what the logs said. Amos stares at him for a beat before continuing.

Episode #9: "Intransigence"

• Understandably furious with Cohen for having sabotaged the Roci, Amos pins him to the floor and growls at him to "unfuck this ship."
• According to Amos, him having held a screwdriver to Monica's throat to get Cohen to explain how he sabotaged the Roci before having them both Thrown Out the Airlock so they could contact another ship and let them know the Roci has no comms was him being "gentle."
  Amos: Sorry, Cap'n.
  Holden: (dismissively) Eh, it's okay.
• After thinking over Holden's claims to have been receiving visions from Miller, Alex awkwardly goes up to Holden and asks if they could talk "without interrupting, y'know, your talks with... Miller?" while weakly gesturing to his own head. Cue Holden giving him a flat stare and closing the door on Alex before resuming to try and summon the Investigator. What makes it even funnier is how Holden shouting Miller's name actually serves as an In-Universe Jump Scare for Alex when he starts to walk away.
• The Investigator is eager to get to the "crime scene," but Holden refuses to do anything until he tells him exactly what's going on. The Investigator goes off on a string of Technobabble concerning what he is which goes over Holden's head like one would expect.
  Investigator: Oh, so you wanna talk about the non-local quantum hologram, the phase-conjugate adaptive waves resonating in micro-tubules in the brain, which of course requires some closed-timeline curves and Lorentzian manifold, and... You catch up, I'll wait.
  (Beat)
  Holden: So, a crime scene?
  Investigator: Crime scene.

Episode #10: "Dandelion Sky"

• Holden Trolling the Investigator by unnecessarily speeding up while in the Slow Zone. While Holden smugly describes it as "exercising some free will," the Investigator instead grumbles that "you're just being an asshole."
• Amos and Alex's argument over what's going on right now involving the crew and the protomolecule.
  Alex: Is none of this stuff weirding you out?!
  Amos: You want me to say that this is some weird shit? Yeah, this is some weird shit.
  Alex: Thank you! We're out of our league here!
  Amos: And that's been true since we've been sharpening sticks and going after lions, but we're still here. I get it, Naomi bugging off to play Belter, Holden doing.... (Beat) I have no clue what Holden is doing.
  • Later in the same scene, after Alex has expressed his fear that messing with the gate will lead to humanity's extinction
  Amos: Back in Baltimore, I had this friend. And she said if the end ever came, she'd grab a bottle and her two cats, and go to the roof, have a toast, and then jump.
  Alex: With the cats?
  Amos: Like a fucking pharoah. (Beat) Don't worry, I'd take you with me, too. (Pats Alex on the cheek and walks away, leaving a very confused Alex)
• The Martian Marines set to intercept Holden and try to get radio contact with him while he is talking to the mental image of Detective Miller. Hilarity Ensues.
  Bobbie: Holden, Bobbie Draper here.
  Holden: Really?
  Bobbie: Yeah. It's me. I need you to slow down.
  Holden: Shut the fuck up, I'm trying to... Sorry, Bobbie, I wasn't talking to you.
  Bobbie: Are you on another channel?
  Holden: What? No. I mean, yes. Yes. Another channel. (to the Investigator) Will you just stop for one secon-?!
  Bobbie: Who are you talking to, Holden?
  Holden: Monkeys and microwaves?!
  Bobbie: Holden, are you all right?
  Holden: Exactly.
  Bobbie: Holden. You need to slow down and let us bring you in.
  Holden: Just give me a minute...
  Bobbie: I promise we'll hear you out.
  Holden: I didn't blow up the Seung-Un, and Alex and Amos had nothing to do with it either. I need to go.
  • Oh, and how did Bobbie know that the person "falling" towards the Nucleus at the center of the Slow Zone was Holden? "That sounds like Holden's style."

Episode #12: "Congregation"

• Melba Koh/Clarissa Mao has finally found Holden, locked into a prisoner cell across from him. When he introduces himself with a simple "Hey, I'm Jim, what are you in for?", all she can do is burst into laughter.
• Amos grumpily handing his gun to the Behemoth grunts. Then said grunts reveal Naomi is under arrest.
  Amos: (casually) Alright, I'm gonna need that gun back.

Episode #13: "Abaddon's Gate"

• Naomi and Drummer remotely watching Holden speak to the Investigator (who only he can see) results in hilariously confused expressions that are a mix between "Is this guy really crazy?" and "Oh God, this is our only hope to survive."
• Holden's incongruously casual description of what the alien space station may do if it decides the human ships are a threat:
  Holden: I saw it turn a Marine who threw a grenade into red mist. I'm guessing something like that, only y'know, all of us.
• The Rocinante crew are trying to get out a message to the people in the flotilla from within the Behemoth when Martian marines arrive to arrest them and exchange some fire. Things take a humorous turn quickly.
  Bobbie: This is Gunnery Sergeant Roberta Draper, Martian Marine Corps! I am ordering you to cease your broadcast, put down your weapons, and come out with your hands raised!
  Alex: Bobbie?!
  Bobbie: Alex?!
  Alex: Jesus.

Season 4

Episode #1: "New Terra"

• Amos installs a new dedication plaque on the bridge of the Rocinante, bearing the crew's names... and the slogan "Legitimate Salvage".
• When explaining the mission to Holden, Avasarala tells him, "Don't stick your dick in it. It's already fucked enough."
• invoked Mixed with Heartwarming, Holden's bemused horror at all of his parents attempting to speak in Belter Creole to Naomi.

Episode #4: "Retrograde"

• Avasarala expresses her displeasure that Holden hasn't contacted her after recent events.
  Avasarala: James, my dear boy, I sent you to that planet to be my eyes and ears, and now, large ruins that were supposed to be inert are shooting out lightning and there is nothing but radio silence from you. So, please, find a way to carve a few moments out of your busy schedule, pick up a goddamn comm, and tell me precisely what the FUCK IS GOING ON DOWN THERE!!
• The OPA faction representative who brings in Marco Inaros cheerfully tells Ashford that they would refund him ten percent of the bounty if Ashford lets their faction be the ones to kill Inaros.
  Faction representative: Good fun.
  Ashford: Appreciate the gesture, but we still have a lot to talk about.
• After Fayez tells Murtry that he can't track the fleeing Lucia and Naomi due to the connection dropping because of the planet being in the way (he's on the Edward Israel in orbit), he expresses his contempt for Murtry by flipping him off with both hands after the connection indeed drops.

Episode #5: "Oppressor"

• The entire scene with Amos restrained in the RCE command shelter.
  Mason: ...yeah and then there was this place on Titan, yeah I used to go there when I was in training, but they had this grilled corn with garlic butter ya'know?
  Amos: *lying down with a pained expression* I do not.
  Mason: Yeah! Garlic butter, and they had these sides, these green sides- I don't know what they were. They kinda looked like- *Shandra storms in*
  Shandra: Wait outside until you're relieved; I'll watch this one.
  Amos: That guy talks. A LOT.
  Shandra: Mason's an idiot.
  Amos: A lot of those on your team.
  Shandra: *Grabbing Amos by the chin* You know in a different context, this could be kind of fun. *Amos shakes his head away*
  Shandra: Come on... Don't be mad. *Amos grabs her ass*
  Amos: Trade places with me and then we'll talk about it.
  Shandra: Don't be an asshole; I saved your life out there.
  Amos: Maybe.
  Shandra: *grabbing his chin again* Oh really? You think you can take on all my men by yourself?
  Amos: I had a shot.
  Shandra: *Shaking her head* You are so fucking weird.

Episode #9: "Saeculum"

• A Freeze-Frame Bonus when Amos contacts Chandra Wei gives us a look at his Contacts list: "Cap'n" (Holden), "Boss" (Naomi), "Alex" (Alex), "Tonight" (Chandra), "Peaches" (Clarissa), "Doc" (Anna), and "My Best Friend" (Prax). Also visible is his to-do list: "Eat", "Drink", and "Stomp".

Season 5

Episode #1: "Exodus"

• Alex meets up with Bobbie, in a tacky western bar on Mars where the staff wear cowboy hats with glowing LEDs on the brims, patrons sit on motorized saddles, and a Chinese version of the Rawhide theme plays in the background. Alex loves it while Bobbie is understandably bemused.
• Amos and Chrisjen's interactions are pure gold, especially this bit here.
  Amos: You and I have very different life experiences, Chrissie.
  Chrisjen: Don't call me that. I'm a member of Parliament, not your favorite stripper.
  Amos: [[Likes Older Women: You could be both.]]

Episode #9: "Winnipesaukee"

• Erich gets fed up with Clarissa's moralizing and asks her where Amos found her. Clarissa responds that she was in prison, serving a life sentence for multiple homicides, much to Erich's bafflement.
• As the renegade security guards assault the Lake Winnipesaukee mansion, Amos and Erich retreat to the shuttle hangar to find Clarissa collapsed on the floor surrounded by the bodies of the attackers who came in through the back. When one of the housekeepers exclaims that she killed them all with her bare hands, Erich mutters "Well, I'm being nicer to her from now on!"

Episode #10: "Nemesis Games"

• Amos reveals to Erich that he managed to smuggle up some whiskey from Earth, only to lose his grip and drop in. In Lunar gravity, it takes about ten seconds to hit the ground, as Amos tries in vain to get someone on the ground floor to catch it.
  Amos: [after laughing] Fuck it.
• Amos has a favor to ask of Holden, but instead of asking directly, reminds him of when Holden threatened to shoot him to stop him from killing Martian marines that were about to board. He uses this as proof that people can change for the better, then quickly rushes Clarissa Mao in before Holden can so much as object. Holden is hilariously baffled by this turn of events.

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