Some of the Lemony Narrator's descriptions for using items. Jabs for doing stupid things are common, and are especially humorous if you discover an unknown item by doing so.
Using a stinkwing gland: "The odor has destroyed your will to live."
Consuming a tchiitra hatchling gland: "That tasted about as pleasant as it looked."
Consuming a torn cloth: "You wonder why you just ate that. Then you feel sad."
Using a dried spiderose: "You crush the pretty little flower. Why did you do that?"
Consuming a Hawksbane vine: "You feel like you swallowed a bunch of thorns. Oh, wait."
Drinking acidic lakewater: "The acidic water starts burning you... Now."
Using Emerald Saltgrass: "You literally just rubbed salt in your wounds."
Using a clump of salt produces an even more extreme reaction: "You just rubbed salt! In your wounds! Ahhh! AAAHHHHH!!"
Consuming soft soil: "Tastes like dirt. Probably because it is."
Consuming a Lasher's Well: "You realize too late that the bulb is filled with acid."
Consuming Arlowe's Weed: "You realize you've been reduced to eating leaves."
Consuming some sulphur weeds: "That plant was not meant to be eaten!"
Consuming some Dandy Do'Sshans: "Surprisingly edible, for a vile weed."
Consuming some river reeds: "You feel at ease after getting your daily fiber." So at ease, it actually heals soul health!
Consuming some Jiknip: "Tangy, with just a hint of your own desperation."
Using Nalian rice: "You laugh in surprise as the grains spill everywhere!" Not terribly humorous in itself, but the message is the same for all characters...including Fake Tezkhra!
The Violet Potable drink is so delicious that it brings your character to their knees, even in the middle of combat. It's just that good, apparently.
The Citrus Concentrate item is "Really, really concentrated. Really. You have been warned."
Consuming it provides the message "The acidic liquid teaches you the meaning of pain!"
The Dark Honey description: "Honey made by very angry bees. Distilled, concentrated evil."
