Funny / Swindled

• The intro to "The Barefoot Bandit" discusses the "escapades" of a certain Joshua Paul Calhoun of East Texas. Highlights include: getting a DUI and getting his car back from the impound, only to crash it on the way home because he was already drunk again; poorly imitating various professions and basically always getting caught (in the words of the Concerned Citizen, Mr. Calhoun was "not a very intelligent young man"); and crashing a stolen airplane, subsequently trying to convince police he had no idea it had crashed despite bleeding from open wounds on his face. Tying it all together is the mix of pity and sheer disdain the Citizen has for him.
  • From later in the episode:
    Reporter: Police believe it was Colton Harris Moore who hit a number of businesses last year. But it is certainly the speculation of the town that he's baaaaaaaaack.
    A Concerned Citizen: There was reason to believe that Colton Harris Moore was baaaaaaaaack.
• The formerly Patreon exclusive episode "The Boner King" just because of the subtle Hurricane of Puns A Concerned Citizen makes throughout the episode.
• The Citizen recounts Alex Malarkey's (phony) story of visiting Heaven in the prelude of "The Saint":
  A Concerned Citizen: Jesus' dad God was there too, sitting on a throne near a scroll that outlined the end of times, at which Alex didn't even bother to take a peek. Not a fan of spoilers, I assume. "I was in the presence of God", Alex professed. "He had a body that was like a human body, but it was a lot bigger. I could only see up to his neck, because like the Bible says, nobody is allowed to see God's face or that person will die." Seems kind of rude.
• The prelude to "The Tour" discusses Milli Vanilli's infamous lip-syncing scandal. The duo and their record label were actually the subject of a class-action lawsuit, claiming that the deception in presenting Rob and Fab as the actual singers (which they weren't) was false advertising. While the Citizen takes the notion seriously, he does explore the precedent the lawsuit would create:
  ACC: If it is a crime for a musical act not to record their own songs, Alvin and the Chipmunks better lawyer up.
• In the prelude to "The Scheme", Dan Marino, a henchman of Ponzi schemer Samuel Israel, happens to share his name with a famous football player. ACC goes to town in his narration with a series of not-so-subtle deadpan Take Thats directed at the football player:
  A Concerned Citizen: "Sounds great and all, but what about the audits?" assumedly one of [Sam Israel's associates] asked. "That's easy", Sam Israel probably replied. "Let's just start our own accounting firm to sign off on our hedge fund's phony statements. Have you forgotten that our Dan Marino is a CPA, and not the overly-tanned quarterback on a mediocre professional football team? Our Dan Marino can actually rise to the occasion."

  [...]
  A Concerned Citizen: By the end of 2003, Sam Israel III was day trading with hundreds of millions of other people's dollars. The only problem was that he was still failing to turn a profit behind the scenes. Another week, another loss — a familiar feeling for anyone with a Dan Marino on their team.

  [...]
  A Concerned Citizen: At forty years old, Dan finally moved out of his mother's house — which, honestly, is about as close to winning the Super Bowl as any Dan Marino would ever get.
• In the Pink Slime bonus episode, an otherwise extremely serious and dramatic episode, we get a sudden burst of levity from a news clip:
  Reporter: That's what Beef Products Incorporated's lawyer had to say this morning as he announced a multi-billion dollar lawsuit against ABC News. Good evening, I'm Tim Seaman.
  [Beat]
  A Concerned Citizen: I'm sorry, uh...come again?
  Reporter: I'm Tim Seaman.
  [Beat]
  A Concerned Citizen: ...I swear, this is too easy sometimes.