Funny / Stripes

• The Army Recruiter's Office scene:
  Recruiter: Have either one of you been convicted of a major felony? That's robbery, rape, that sort of thing.
  Winger: Convicted? [Beat] ...No.
  Ziskey: Never convicted.
• The use of "Doo Wah Diddy" as a jody call. Only funnier because it's Truth in Television in the modern US military, though less common than more traditional jodies.
• “Have that removed.”
• The magazine covers highlighting how each of the main characters cashed in on their fame after the exciting rescue:
  • Sgt. Hulka retires to open a chain of Hulkaburger restaurants.
  • Louise makes the cover of a car-review magazine to review the effectiveness of Winnebago warfare.
  • Stella poses for Penthouse.
  • Ziskey makes the cover of Guns And Ammo saying thus about the Ruskies: "They're pussies!"
  • Ox: teen magazine Tiger Beat offers a "Win a Date With Ox!" contest.
  • Winger makes the cover of a Newsweek expy newsmagazine posing as the face of the modern U.S. army. With the implication that America may be doomed because of it.
  • And Stillman gets reassigned to a tiny base in the middle of frozen nowhere as punishment for his incompetence. What makes this one particularly funny is that the article makes his fate sound like a good thing.
  • The Czech border guards get some recognition on their side of the border with a propagandistic-looking writeup of their defeat of the "invasion". "Local boys repel Yankee horde."
• Louise and Stella catching Ziskey's fight with Winger, who is trying to desert. Ziskey's mortified "This isn't what it looks like!" sells it - and so does Winger's answer:
  Winger: We're just good friends.
• The "Aunt Jemima" treatment.
• Stillman playing with his army action figures in his office.
  • The eye roll the corporal gives when he witnesses this, and pretty much any of his incompetent boss's antics.
• Psycho. That is all.
  • Hulka isn't impressed. Then again, neither are any of the other recruits.
  Psycho: The name's Francis Soyer, but everybody calls me Psycho. Any of you guys call me Francis, and I'll kill you.
  Leon: Ooooooh.
  Psycho: You just made the list, buddy. And I don't like nobody touching my stuff. So just keep your meat-hooks off. If I catch any of you guys in my stuff, I'll kill you. Also, I don't like nobody touching me. Now, any of you homos touch me, and I'll kill you.
  Hulka: Lighten up, Francis.
• The platoon explaining why they enlisted, especially when Cruise says he doesn't want to be there, but figured he'd better get it out of the way before he got drafted. SGT Hulka gives him a puzzled expression and says, "Uh, they don't do the draft anymore, son."
  • Even better that the whole scene was improvised.
• Ox's explanation for joining is particularly hilarious:
  Ox: My name's Dewey Oxburger. My friends call me Ox. You might have noticed that, uh, I've got a slight weight problem.
  The Rest of the Platoon: Nooo! Noooo!
  Ox: Yeah, yeah I do. Yeah, I do. I went to this doctor. Well, he told me I swallow a lot of aggression... along with a lot of pizzas! Ha Ha Ha! Pizzas! I'm basically a shy person, I'm a shy guy. Uh, he suggested taking one these uh, aggression training courses. You know these aggression training courses like EST, those type of things. Anyway, it cost 400 bucks! 400 bucks to join this thing? Well I didn't have the money and I thought to myself, "Join the army"! It's free. So I figured while I'm here I'll lose a few pounds. And you got what, a 6 to 8 week training program here? A real tough one. Which is perfect for me! I'm going to walk out of here a Lean, Mean, Fightin' Machine!
• Russell's ESL class at the beginning.
  Russell: Okay, I know you're anxious to jump right in and start speaking English, but there's a couple of things I need to know first, because I've never done this before. So, how many of you would say you speak English fairly well, but with some difficulties?
  (silence)
  Russell: A little English?
  (man raises his hand)
  Russell: Yes, you speak some English?
  Man: Son of bitch. Shit.
  Class: (in unison) Son of bitch. Shit.
  • Russell tries to lead the class in singing "Da Doo Ron Ron".
• When John and Stella find their platoon's cell:
  John: (knocks on door) Hello?
  Ox: Hello? Who is this?
  John: It's Idi Amin!
• "Where's your drill sergeant, men?" "BLOWN UP, SIR!" Doubles as a Moment of Awesome.
• "What sort of training, cadet?" "aaaAAAARRRRRMY TRAINING, SIR!"
  • ARMY TRAINING, SIR!
• John talks about going to Czechoslovakia to free the rest of their platoon.
  John: We're going to Czechoslovakia, it's not like we're going to Russia. It'll be just like going into Wisconsin.
  Russell: Well, I got the shit kicked out of me in Wisconsin once. Forget it!
• Uncle Hulka?