- "Boats and Hoes"
. Just... "Boats and Hoes". - Later, Dale tosses in a single line of "Boats and hoes" during Brennan's performance of Andrea Bocelli's aria "Por ti volare".
- The entire Prestige Worldwide presentation.
- "Prestige... Worldwide... Wide... Wide... Wide..."
- "Last week, we put Liquid Paper on a bee... and it died."
- "Investors? POSSIBLY YOU!"
- Sweet Child O' Mine acapella-style.
- "So many activities!"
- Actually, the whole "bunk bed" sequence.
- "You JAGALOONS! You're failures! FAIL-EYURRRREESSS!"
- "HEY, YOU'RE EMBARRASSING YOURSELF, YOU GERIATRIC FUCK! Two things! You keep your liver-spotted hands off my beautiful mother, she's a saint! And then you sit down and you write Dale and Brennan a cheque for ten thousand dollars... or I'm gonna shove one of those fake hearing devices, so far up your ass, you can hear the sound of your small intestine as it produces... SHIT!"
- While it doesn't make him look like any less of a Jerkass, this exchange between Robert and Nancy on Christmas Eve is worth a giggle due to Robert's blunt sarcasm.
Robert: I'm gonna go down to the Cheesecake Factory,
have a drink.
Nancy: But it's Christmas Eve.
Robert: Oh. Merry Christmas.
- The entire interview montage:
- "We're here to fuck shit up."
- "Okay, here's the shot out of the cannon: Oprah, Barbara Walters, your wife. You gotta fuck one, marry one, kill one, go!"
- Brennan uses "Jesus Christ, our Lord and Savior" as a job reference.
- Both of them wear tuxedos to an interview for a janitorial job.
- And, of course, the fart.
- "YOUR DRUM SET'S A WHORE!! I TEABAGGED YOUR FUCKING DRUM SET!!"
- Before the fight: "JOHN BONHAM'S PLAYING MOBY DICK FOR REAL!!"
- "Well, my drum set's a guy so that makes you gay, you fucker!" One of the most hilariously juvenile lines ever put on film.
- "WHAT THE FUCKING FUCK?!" The fact that this line is said by Mary Steenbergen makes it even funnier.
- Alice and Dale having a quickie in the bathroom.
- "Wh-what are you doing?" "I'm burying you."
- "Did we just become best friends?" "YUP!"
- Dale displaying his own "talent" for singing... by singing an impromptu song of "Crotch Party". Made even funnier with poor Robert yelling at him to stop during the performance.
- "That's cute. I remember when I had my first beer."
- "Ha, ha. That's so funny. The last time I heard that, I laughed so hard, I fell off my dinosaur." (Brennan starts to cry, while Robert tries to comfort him)
- "What the FUCK HAPPENED!?!"
- The first fight between Brennan and Dale, where they both destroyed the drywall and Brennan used a bicycle as a weapon.
- "I'M PRE-DIABETIC!"
- It gets even worse (and funnier) when Nancy calls Robert at the hospital and screams that "They're killing each other!" and his subtle Oh, Crap! expression as he first tries to explain his situation to a colleague and then just RUNS out of the hospital midway through his explanation.
- "RAPE!!! RAPE!!!"
- "Mom, I honestly thought I was going to be raped for a second. He had the craziest look in his eyes, and at one point he said, 'Let's get it on.'"
- "I am so not a 'raper'."
- Plus, the duo's reaction of getting their TV privileges taken away from them.
- "THIS HOUSE IS A FUCKING PRISON!" "On planet Bullshit!" "In the galaxy of THIS SUCKS CAMEL DICKS!"
- "Sticks and stones may break my bones, but I'm gonna kick you repeatedly in the balls, Gardocki!"
- Randy (Rob Riggle's character) and his over-the-top reaction to the grand finale despite not caring for Brennan or Dale whatsoever beforehand, and, unlike Derek, having no familial relation to either of them.
- Robert trying to wake up the sleepwalking brothers on Christmas Eve (they even bring the Christmas tree in the bedroom!); they promptly pummel the poor guy, carry him screaming out of the room and chuck him down the stairs.
- This deleted scene, taking place after Derek's party, has several Funny Moments.
- "First, you wouldn't let me join the family business, and now this!"
- Brennan referring to Robert as a "hatchet man" and a "poser".
- Nancy trying her best to calm the quarreling, while sounding as if she's talking to children. At one point, Brennan even calls her "Mommy."
- "I once put a hearing aid in a nine-year-old girl's ear, and she could hear for the very first time!"
- When Brennan and Dale try to join in laughing at Derek's "Scarface" reference.
Randy: SHUT THE FUCK UP!
- "(4x) Dale broke up Mom and Dad"
'''MOHTERFUCKER!!!!!!!!!"
- The revelation that Denise, Brennan’s therapist, is secretly in love with him after all. What’s most amusing about it is that she has sexual fantasy about him as a hulking lumberjack, and later, she still tries to deny her interest in him despite Nancy calling her out on it.
