Spoilers Off applies to all Funny pages, so all spoilers are unmarked. You Have Been Warned!
- "It's because I'm white, isn't it?"Michael Jordan: No. Larry's white. So what?
Bill Murray: Larry's not white. Larry's clear. - Larry Bird and Bill Murray's dry reaction to Michael Jordan's disappearance.Larry: You think Michael's OK?
Bill: I'm sure he's fine, I think he just had to get away from that Stan character.
Larry: God, he's pathetic, isn't he?
Bill: ...You know, Larry, I'm going to give us 2's back there, we weren't in any emotional state to putt.
Larry: That's fair. - Jordan poses beside the golf hole that he gets the ball into so Stan can get a picture, and then gets lassoed into it into Looney Tunes Land.Bill: (after a very long Beat) What kind of camera is that?
Stan: (holds up camera) It's just a regular—
Bill: (grabs the camera from Stan's hands) Would you not point that at me, please, and close the lens?! (throws the camera away) - During the team roll call scene for the toons, nobody respects Daffy Duck, treating him the same way they do in the classic cartoons.Daffy: Thank you! Thank you! (cue cricket chirping) Very funny! Let's all laugh at the duck!
- "But Mommy, I don't want to go to school today! I want to stay home and bake cookies with you!"
- Granny's the team cheerleader! God, they must have been desperate! The only other cheerleader we see? Witch Hazel.
- On that note, Daffy passing the ball to Granny during the game and the Mon-Stars dog-piling her is darkly funny. As is Daffy's "justification" for it when Lola shoots him a disapproving look.Daffy: She was wide open!
- On that note, Daffy passing the ball to Granny during the game and the Mon-Stars dog-piling her is darkly funny. As is Daffy's "justification" for it when Lola shoots him a disapproving look.
- After the NBA players get their talents stolen, the Lakers get paranoid and refuse to get ready for their game, thinking that there's a virus going around. When told to just change in the hall, they all put on gas masks first as a precaution.
- For a scene without the Tunes, the talent-removed players undergo medical/psychiatric exams. ("I've got other skills. I could go work on the farm. Or maybe I could go back to the jungle and be a missionary.")Charles Barkley: This girl...five-feet-nothing...blocked my shot!
Psychiatrist: When did you first start having this dream?
Charles Barkley: IT WASN'T A DREAM! IT REALLY HAPPENED!- Muggsy Bogues and the psychiatrist:Muggsy: What are you saying? That I'm trying to disobey my mama?
Psychiatrist: I didn't say that. You did, Muggsy.
Muggsy: But I love my mama! - The Psychiatrist asks Patrick Ewing if he is underperforming in other areas...Psychiatrist: Are there any other areas besides basketball where you find yourself... unable to perform?
Patrick Ewing: NO!
Psychiatrist: I'm just asking. - The doctor and the basketball players (minus Barkley) are all walking through a hospital and come to a doorway, which the doctor and Tyrone Curtis "Muggsy" Bogues (who's the shortest NBA-player in history at only 5'3") manage to pass through just fine—but Shawn Bradley (who's 7'6"), Patrick Ewing (who's 7'0") and Larry Johnson (who's 6'7") all end up smacking their heads on the top of the door frame, making them topple over like dominoes.
- Muggsy Bogues and the psychiatrist:
- Charles Barkley prays that he'll never go out with Madonna again if it means he can have his talent back.
- The Self-Deprecation seance scene where the players visit a medium, she summarizes the movie's plot, and they refuse to believe it.
- A much talked about (and memed) scene in the movie is often this:(Sylvester uses a fishing pole to remove the trousers off of one of the Mon-Stars, who notices his bare derriere and covers it with his jersey, and blushing with embarrassment!)
Lola: (hooting derisively) NICE BUTT! - The slapstick (that only cartoon characters can pull off) during the game is raw, unadulterated hilarity
. - When Bugs Bunny gets cornered by Elmer Fudd with a hunting rifle and then Elmer Fudd gets crushed by the Nerdlucks spaceship door opening up with an audible "Ouch!".
- During the Nerdlucks landing with their spaceship.Pound (Orange): One small step for moi!
Other Nerdlucks: MOI!
Bang (Green): One giant leap for Moron Mountain!
[Bang proceeds to plant flag right on Pound's foot, prompting Pound to yell in pain!]
Bugs: (looking down at the injured Elmer) And one whopper headache for Elmer Fudd.- The Nerdlucks at first appear to be stupid, so Bugs tries to trick them by pretending to be someone else and saying he hasn't seen him. Unfortunately for him, the Nerdlucks aren't as stupid as he thinks they are.(Bugs Bunny proceeds to walk away only for himself and the entire backdrop to be burnt to a crisp by the Nerdlucks shooting their laser guns at him)
Bang: Hold on there, Mr. Looney Tune!
Other Nerdlucks: What do you think we are, stupid?
Pound: Okay, bunny. Gather up your toon pals. We're taking you for a ride!
Blanko: Yeah, totally, alright. So, like, where are we going? [Pound Dope Slaps Blanko] Are We There Yet?
- The Nerdlucks at first appear to be stupid, so Bugs tries to trick them by pretending to be someone else and saying he hasn't seen him. Unfortunately for him, the Nerdlucks aren't as stupid as he thinks they are.
- After Foghorn Leghorn gets blasted by a Mon-Star's fire breath:Foghorn: Did you order original recipe or extra crispy? *turns into pile of dust*
- As Bugs Bunny and Daffy Duck look around Michael Jordan's house for his basketball gear, they stumble upon a little girls room and Daffy Duck has this to say:Daffy Duck: You think she's got enough toys?!
- The sequence when Bugs and Daffy search Jordan's house for his gear. Daffy begins to search for the shorts. He opens a door and the shorts are in the jaws of a huge bulldog. Daffy slams the door shut.Daffy: I found...the shorts.
- Bugs asking Jordan for help, first trying to explain in the whole mess with excruciating detail, with Jordan looking at him completely baffled. Seeing Jordan's look of utter confusion, Bugs cuts to the chase.Bugs: Uh, what I'm tryin' to say is... WE NEED YOUR HEEEEEEEEELLLLLLPPPP!
Michael Jordan: Yeah, but I'm a baseball player now.
Bugs: Right. And I'm a Shakespearean actor. - Bugs telling Jordan that Lola is "obviously nuts about [him]" becomes Hilarious in Hindsight when she was characterized as being yandere for Bugs in The Looney Tunes Show.
- SPIT SHINE!Taz: Lemony fresh.
- Stan worriedly calling into the hole after Michael after he gets sucked in is amusing. However, the odd camera angle looking up out of the hole at Wayne Knight's face makes the whole scene bizarrely hilarious.Adam: I love this shot.
Merk: This is a great shot. This is art. This is pure art. - After having his talent stolen, Barkley tries to block a shot by waving his arms around like a kid would.
- So how did Bill Murray get into Looney Tunes Land?Bill: Producer's a friend of mine; just had a Teamster come and drop me off. (One of the Mon-Stars groans in annoyance)
Daffy: (knowingly) Huh. So that's how it goes... - After Michael gets whisked away to Looney Tune Land, Stan gets a shovel and starts digging up the green to find him while the course is still open.Golfer: What're ya doin'?!
Stan: I'm, uh... I'm fixing a divot.
Golfer: Oh. (To his friends) He's fixing a divot!- And then later, we find that Stan has dug up the entire green and more looking for Michael, and is standing in the middle of the hole, exhausted and exasperated.Stan: This is it! THIS IS IT! I don't know where you are, Michael! But wherever you are, you obviously enjoy bein' there more than spendin' time with me!
- And then later, we find that Stan has dug up the entire green and more looking for Michael, and is standing in the middle of the hole, exhausted and exasperated.
- Daffy mentions that, as Looney Tunes, they are exclusive property of Warner Brothers inc while showing a WB Logo on his backside. Which then he proceeds to kiss. He's literally being an ass-kisser.
- Michael Jordan being tackled by his pet bulldog Charles and licked all over his face, prompting his mother to help him.Michael Jordan's mother: (to the dog) Charles, get off of him before I cook you!
- When Michael consoles his son over his baseball game.Michael Jordan's son: Were people mean to you when you were playing baseball?
Michael Jordan: Worse. They were very nice. - When the Jordan children are watching television and Porky Pig interrupts a cartoon for an emergency meeting at city hall. Porky Pig and The Roadrunner disappear. Followed by Wile E. Coyote removing a heavy weight (forgetting that it was keeping a tightrope supporting him on the ground) and being sent flying out of the shot and into the air. Prompting this reaction from the confused children:Little boy: Dang, where'd they go?
(Smash Cut to Looney Tune Land at night with all the citizens heading to city hall and Wile E. Coyote flying through the air and crashing through the city hall building):
