Par for the series in general, there were quite a few ridiculously funny moments in this installment of The Dresden Files. WARNING: Unmarked spoilers below!
- Harry's idea of "training" to hone Molly's skill at magical shields is to stand in the snow in her parents' backyard and try to concentrate while her siblings, and Harry, pelt her with snowballs."This can't possibly be real training," she said, her voice quavering with cold, "You're just doing this for your own sick amusement, Harry."
I beamed at her and accepted a freshly made snowball from little Hope, who had apparently appointed herself my squire.- And when the training devolves into all-on-all snowball fight and Harry gets too cocky after blocking incoming snowballs with his shield, Charity, of all people, dumps a double handful of snow down the neck of his duster.
- After the attack in the Carpenters' backyard, Harry learns that they all barely managed to fend off a gang of Gruffs. As in, the Billy Goats Gruff. Bob finds this highly amusing, especially since one of them managed to kick Harry squarely in the face.Bob: You just got your ass handed to you by a nursery tale?!
Harry: I wouldn't say they handed me my ass.
Bob: That's because you can't see yourself! Your nose is all swollen up and you've got two black eyes. You look like a raccoon. Holding a dislocated ass.- Even better? Harry looking like a raccoon becomes a Running Gag for this book!
- Jim Butcher seems to enjoy dreaming up unique introductions for Thomas every time he appears. This is perhaps his best:Harry's Narration: The driver’s side window rolled down and revealed a young man whom fathers of teenage daughters would shoot on sight.
- Harry referring to Thomas's Hummer as "Das Truck." He expects an echo from the backseat when he tosses his staff in.
- This bit of banter between Thomas and Harry.Thomas: Okay, so where are we going?
Harry: Where they treat me like royalty.
Thomas: We're going to Burger King?
I rubbed the heel of my hand against my forehead and spelled fratricide in a subvocal mutter, but I had to spell out temporary insanity and justifiable homicide, too, before I calmed down enough to speak politely. - Harry pissing off the brute who comes for Ms. Demeter:Torelli: Think you're cute, huh?
Harry: I'm freaking adorable. Especially with the raccoon face I've got going here. - When Harry realizes he's being followed through the charm Titania gave him, he goes to throw it away, before having a better idea. He rigs it up to Little Chicago and hangs it from the ceiling with a rubber band and a bag of catnip, then lets Mister go nuts playing with it, so the Summer hitmen chasing him will be running all over Chicago in two feet of snow.
- Harry shows the sigil of a Fallen that Thomas beheaded and recovered the coin of to Sanya and Michael.
- Harry, Sanya, and Michael realize Nicodemus is in town, along with several other Denarians.Harry: Fu- [glances at Michael] Fudgesicles.
- Harry calling Luccio:Luccio: What's gone wrong Harry?Harry: Hey! That's one hell of a thing to say to a man, Captain. Just because I'm calling doesn't mean there's a crisis.Luccio: I suppose that's technically true I suppose. Why are you calling?Harry: Well... There's a crisis.Luccio: *sighs*
- Molly's reaction to Harry calling a meeting:Molly: War council? Are we going to start another war?
- A minor one during Harry's argument with Gard:Harry: Stop. Occam time.
- This particular excerpt:Mouse suddenly stopped in his tracks. Me too. I didn't rubberneck around. Instead I focused on the dog. Mouse's ears twitched like individual radar dishes. His nose quivered. One paw came up off the ground, but the dog only looked around him uncertainly. "Lassie would have smelled something," I told him. "She would have given a clear, concise warning. One bark for Gruffs, two barks for Nickelheads." Mouse gave me a reproachful glance, put his paw back down, and sneezed.
- Even Michael gets in the occasional good one, like when they find the ticket agent praying during the hob attack at Union Station:The white fire of the holy sword painted the tear streaks on her face silver as her mouth dropped open in an expression of shock and stunned joy. She looked down at her crucifix, and back up at him again.
Michael took a quick glance around the room, smiled at the woman, and said, "Of course He's there. Of course He listens." He paused, then admitted, "Granted, He doesn't always answer quite this quickly." - "If your opponent has you by fifty pounds, winning a fight against him is a dubious proposition, at best.
"If your opponent has you by eight thousand and fifty pounds, you've left the realm of combat and enrolled yourself in Roadkill 101. Or possibly in a Tom and Jerry cartoon." - "I... I've never been hit on by a woman a hundred and fifty years older than me."
- His honest bewilderment through the conversation with Thomas is—and this is an adjective which no-one would ever normally attach to Harry Dresden—adorable. He keeps stuttering, for Christ's sake!
- And on the same note, Thomas berating Harry for not realizing that Luccio was non-verbally hitting on him.Thomas: Moron. Thank God Nicodemus is a man.
- Difficult to notice on the first read, but before Harry heads out to the meeting with the Denarians he has to explain to Molly why she's unable to go with them, stating that they've come to talk, not to start a fight. Afterwards he heads into Michael's workshop where Luccio is explaining to Michael why he can't go, prompting a response almost exactly like his daughter's.
- Speaking of Michael, there's this moment below when he, Kincaid, Ivy, and Luccio are all trying to get a near-unconscious Harry and Mouse into Harry's apartment (which also serves as a Call-Back both to Michael's actual day job as a carpenter and the Running Gag of Harry's self-installed replacement front door always sticking since he never bothered to have it installed right):Harry's Narration: I opened the door for [Luccio], the way you're supposed to for a lady, but the damned thing was stuck until Michael shoved it open with his shoulder and muttered something disparaging about amateur work.
- Speaking of Michael, there's this moment below when he, Kincaid, Ivy, and Luccio are all trying to get a near-unconscious Harry and Mouse into Harry's apartment (which also serves as a Call-Back both to Michael's actual day job as a carpenter and the Running Gag of Harry's self-installed replacement front door always sticking since he never bothered to have it installed right):
- Later, Harry is meeting the Archive at the aquarium:A pair of dolphins swept by us in the water, flicking their heads to get a good look at us as they went. One of them made a chittering sound that wasn't very melodic. The other twitched its tail and splashed a little water our way, all in good fun. They weren't the attractive Flipper kind of dolphins. They were regular dolphins that aren't as pretty and don't get cast on television. Maybe they just refused to sell out and see a plastic surgeon. I held a fist up to them. Represent.
- The dolphins later help Harry against the villains through signaling where Thorned Namshiel is, having apparently decided that Harry's the good guy.
- Molly's cooking, especially in comparison to her mother's.Molly greeted us with only slightly less enthusiasm, and immediately set about making food for everyone. It turns out that Molly wasn't her mother's daughter in that respect. Charity was like the MacGyver of the kitchen. She could whip up a five-course meal for twelve from an egg, two spaghetti noodles, some household chemicals, and a stick of chewing gum.
Molly... Molly once burned my egg. My boiled egg. I don't know how.- The very next chapter:Harry: Is there any food?
Molly: I made pot roast.
Harry: But is there any food?
[Molly lightly Dope Slaps him] - Additionally, at one point after he gets up from a nap, Harry describes Molly making something to eat with Sanya's aid as "Molly was committing dinner in the kitchen, aided and abetted by Sanya, who seemed to take some kind of grim Russian delight in watching train wrecks in progress."
- The very next chapter:
- Harry's genius escape plan from Demonreach:Miss Gard brought the reconditioned Huey up from the eastern side of the island, flying about a quarter of an inch over the treetops, blasting "The Ride of the Valkyries" from loudspeakers mounted on the chopper's underside.
- Oh, and it has a minigun!
- Doubly funny when one remembers that Gard actually is a Valkyrie.
- Fleeing Nicodemus's tongueless mooks through the island's forest at night, Harry nearly runs into one that can't see him very well in the darkness. The mook makes garbled sounds that seem vaguely interrogative, so Harry replies with similar garbled gobbledygook ...and flips the man off. He never does learn whether the guy fell for his act enough to let him pass unhindered, or if he just shocked him into immobility with the rude gesture.
- The "saving the world by asking for a doughnut" incident. Say it in your gravest, most Shakespearean voice.Eldest Brother Gruff: Likest thou jelly within thy donut?
Harry: Nay, but prithee, with sprinkles 'pon it instead, and frosting of white.- The mere fact that the Eldest Gruff himself is quite amused and deliberately plays along with Harry's clever Batman Gambit here (because he respects Harry and doesn't really want to kill him) also counts. Even better, the next book will eventually reveal that the entire Summer Court finds it Actually Pretty Funny too!
- A boon from the Faerie Court of Summer, to use for any one thing he sees fit, and Harry uses it for... a small favor.
- And later, when he finds the doughnut in his car, still hot, Thomas asks him, "Where did that come from?" He just smiles and keeps eating.Thomas: You don't even explain the little things, do you?
Harry: (cheerily) It's like a drug. - For that matter, Eldest Gruff's arrival.Thump. Thump. Thump. I adjusted the aim on the staff a little higher. Thump. Thump. Sweat trickled off my brow. Thump. Thump. How far did this guy have to walk? Thump. Thump. This was just getting ridiculous, now. Thump. Thump. And Eldest Gruff appeared in the opening. He was five feet tall. Five-two, tops.
- Eldest Gruff has comes to kill Harry, and Harry asks Eldest Gruff why Summer (good) is apparently helping the bad guys. Eldest Gruff turns the question back on Harry, asking why Winter (bad) is apparently helping the good guys.Harry: Gruff, I find myself largely clueless about why mortal women do what they do. It would take a wiser man than me to understand what's in a fae woman's mind.
- Cue Eldest Gruff laughing his ass off.
- Made even better because Harry then starts laughing because he's gone through so much in one day. Eldest Gruff promptly laughs some more because Harry is laughing, who in turn continues laughing because Eldest Gruff—a small goat man—sounds like a donkey when he laughs.
- Cue Eldest Gruff laughing his ass off.
- When Harry is being rescued by Thomas at the end of the book, he makes a bunch of silly, petty complaints as Thomas respectively shoots Nicodemus's minions with a pistol at long range (He doesn't even practice.), hauls Harry up out of the water without any effort (He doesn't even work out.), and then walks back to the boat's wheelhouse, while looking awesome. (He doesn't even moisturize.)
- Harry's reaction to watching Kincaid click off his gun's safety and lay it across his chest before going to sleep.Harry: Aw, it's cute. He has a teddy Glock.
- Doubly funny as Glocks are famous for their lack of a manual safety.
