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Funny / Sean Bean Saves Westeros

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Spoilers Off applies to all Funny pages, so all spoilers are unmarked. You Have Been Warned!


General

  • Many of Sean's inner monologue are pure comedic gold, especially considering just how out of character it is for canon Ned to think such thoughts.
    • Not-Ned getting extremely annoyed at Roose Bolton's low voice, and had to stop himself from screaming 'Speak louder for Christ's sake!' at him whenever he talks. Also, he gives Roose the nickname of 'Fuck head'.
    • Not-Ned nicknaming Catelyn 'The MILF of the North'.
    • His last thought before passing out at the end of Book one was: 'God damn you George, you sick fu...'
    • When Catelyn had a freak out upon learning about how not-Ned knows about her children having Warg abilities, and refusing to talk to him, he had the following inner monologue:
    'Bitch! I'm saving your shitty backward planet and you're giving me shit. Me!' he raged to himself. 'I'm the one who's read the fucking books! You'd have ended up a god damn zombie without me! Christ!

Book 1

  • In Chapter 8, Robb being confused by Not-Ned calling him "Rich". He comes to the conclusion that it's a short form of Rickon, and being thankful that "the slips of the tongue had never included his being called Sansa or Arya".
  • Littlefinger's death, in a pure Black Comedy tone, particularly for how his last POV ends.
  • Robb having to "translate" Not-Ned's singing for Arya in Chapter 14.
  • Not-Ned's dream where he played with Sheffield United to win the Westeros Association Challenge in Chapter 16, with Tywin's head being used as the ball and Ian McKellen as Gandalf the referee.
  • This conversation in Chapter 27:
    Unknown person: Does the mummer man have any last words?
    Not-Ned: Jesus!
    Unknown person: A man must remain alive if he is to pay the price laid upon him; or has the mummer man changed his mind again and wishes to utter the name Jaqen, to Jaqen again?
  • The absurd hodgepodge of Shakespeare quotes Sean strings together to convince the Northern lords to forget about bringing back the King in the North.

Book 2

  • Melisandre's chapters being titled Not Selyse after she switches places with her.
  • The parley is a mix of this and Moment of Awesome.
    • Renly tells Stannis that he is willing to give him Storm's End. Stannis pulls a fast one by Comically Missing the Point, wondering why he would want to live in Highgarden and asking if Renly would miss Loras so much.
    • Stannis leaves Renly and his men stunned when he reveals he has named Garlan Tyrell as his Hand of the King.
    • When Renly tries to do his peach trick on Stannis during the parley, Stannis and the men with him pull out their own fruits, making Renly look like an idiot.
    • The champions' fight between Loras and Grey Wind (warged by Robb) ends when Loras trips on a peach stone. Which Renly had dropped on the ground earlier.

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