Funny / SeaQuest DSV

• The reveal in "Treasures of the Tonga Trench", in which the precious glowing "gemstones" the crew discovered turn out to be the feces of a giant bioluminescent sea creature.
  • Funnier still, Bridger confines Krieg to quarters, before allowing him to clean up his "treasures."
• Pretty much any of Krieg's wacky schemes, for that matter.
• This gem from the pilot:
  Krieg: What the... these are all family films! I told you to get something interesting! Look... this is a submarine. Can you say that?
  Crewman: Submarine?
  Krieg: Good! This is not a monastery! [sigh] Forget it, I'll pull something from my personal library.
• The Trust Password Bridger uses to confirm that the embarked dolphin is actually Darwin, which leads to a Brain Bleach moment for Lucas.
  Bridger: Darwin, what color is my favorite bathing suit?
  Darwin: No suit. Skin.
  Bridger: He's right. I usually don't wear one.
  Lucas: (looking disgusted) Thank you for that fascinating piece of information. Well, if you're done here, I'll just...
• On launching a "magma buoy" into a volcanic vent: "Oh, I think I'll pass. I doubt Raleigh or his ceramic suppository require my presence."
• In Vapors, Lucas explains money to Darwin. Darwin, who finds the entire concept of paying for fish when he can just go catch some to be completely ridiculous, says, "That sucks." For Darwin, this is a glorious Precision F-Strike. Later, Darwin refuses to help Bridger set up some party lights unless he gets paid, at which point Bridger throws up his hands and declares he'll do it himself.
• After Bridger confiscates a real beef cheeseburger from Krieg (since beef was made illegal), just before he tosses it into the trash bin, he looks around and quickly takes a few bites, looking like a kid with his hand in a candy jar.
• In "Whale Song", Bridger thanks Krieg for disobeying his order to take Lucas ashore; Krieg replies that Lucas is like a little brother to him.
  Bridger: Oh, I hope not.
• There's Fridge Logic to this recurring plot device, but you could make a drinking game out of the number of times a Well-Intentioned Extremist gets their hands on a surplus Soviet submarine.
• Coupled with Actor Allusion and Real-Life Relative: in one episode, Dom DeLuise guest-starred as Tony Piccolo's father. At one point, Dagwood (played by another of DeLuise's sons) tells him "I think my father would have looked like you. If he had hair."
• meta version: in a pre-season 2 interview, Peter DeLuise was asked about whether it was a big decision to shave his head to play Dagwood. Peter's reply?
  Peter DeLuise: This was my first acting gig in three years. I would have shaved my nuts if they'd asked me to!