Funny Moments from Saving Private Ryan.
- In a peak of Mood Whiplash, during the climactic urban battle, Sgt. Horvath and a German mook meet, only for the German to hurl his helmet at Horvath, enticing Horvath to throw his, then shoot him with his pistol, just as the German does the same. While the German is killed, Horvath gets a flesh wound on his side, leading him to start spouting Angrish right out in the open as more rounds fall around him.
- Similarly, when a mortally wounded Captain Miller starts shooting his M1911 pistol at the Tiger Tank before it explodes, he has a quick dumbfounded look before the fighter buzzes overhead.
- No doubt thinking, did I do that?
- Some more Mood Whiplash combined with a dose of black comedy occurs in the D-Day scene. A soldier's helmet is struck by a bullet. He takes it off, looking at it like he can't believe he wasn't hit… only to be shot in the head a moment later.Caparzo: Jesus! Lucky bastard! [BOOM!]
- The fact that during the D-Day scene, one of the soldiers brought a typewriter to the beach instead of a gun, clearly only expecting to be writing about his experiences instead of being thrown headfirst into them, When Miller sees this, he promptly tosses it and tells the soldier to find an actual weapon.
- In the D-Day sequence, two soldiers after shooting surrendering enemies:What did he say?
"Look, I washed for supper!"- This one is definitely YMMV territory, since it was obviously played for shock value rather than for laughs and the underlying message is pretty clear. But one might have to admit it was funny.
- Reiben's constant wisecracking, even in the heat of battle.Horvath: Reiben! Where's your BARnote ?!
Reiben: Bottom of the Channel, Sarge. Bitch tried ta' drown me! - In a dark comedy way, when Miller tries to drag a wounded Briggs to safety with great difficulty only for an explosion to knock him down and when he gets up and continues dragging Briggs it goes a lot easier, before Miller realizes why.
- During the beach scene when the squad's trying to assault a machine gun nest, Miller stands in the open to distract the machine gunners while Jackson runs to cover leading to this exchange:Sgt. Horvath: Captain, if your mother saw you do that she'd be very upset.
Cpt. Miller: I thought you were my mother. - Capt. Miller trying to find out where Ryan is from a guy who had a grenade hit his head.Random Soldier: You're gonna have to speak up sir. His hearing isn't so good. It comes and goes. A German grenade went off right by his head.
Hard of hearing soldier: YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SPEAK UP, SIR! MY HEARING ISN'T SO GOOD! IT COMES AND GOES! A GERMAN GRENADE WENT OFF RIGHT NEAR MY HEAD! - A great deal of the (authentic) soldiers' banter:Pvt. Caparzo: What are we gonna do?
Sgt. Horvath: You're goin' home wrapped in an American flag with a hunk of cheese in your ass, Caparzo, you smart-ass! Now listen up...
Pvt. Reiben: I thought you liked it in the ass?Pvt. Reiben: You know what that song reminds me of? It reminds me of Mrs. Rachel Troubowitz and what she said to me the day I left for basic.
Pvt. Mellish: What, 'don't touch me'?Pvt. Jackson: Sir… I have an opinion on this matter.
Cpt. Miller: Well, by all means, share it with the squad.
Pvt. Jackson: Well, from my way of thinking, sir, this entire mission is a serious misallocation of valuable military resources.
Cpt. Miller: Yeah. Go on.
Pvt. Jackson: Well, it seems to me, sir, that God gave me a special gift, made me a fine instrument of warfare.
Cpt. Miller: Reiben, pay attention. Now, this is the way to gripe. Continue, Jackson.
Pvt. Jackson: Well, what I mean by that, sir, is… if you was to put me and this here sniper rifle anywhere up to and including one mile of Adolf Hitler with a clear line of sight, sir… pack your bags, fellas, war's over. Amen.
Pvt. Reiben: Oh, that's brilliant, bumpkin. Hey, so, Captain, what about you? I mean, you don't gripe at all?
Cpt. Miller: I don't gripe to you, Reiben. I'm a captain. There's a chain of command. Gripes go up, not down. Always up. You gripe to me, I gripe to my superior officer, so on, so on, and so on. I don't gripe to you. I don't gripe in front of you. You should know that as a Ranger.
Pvt. Reiben: I'm sorry, sir, but uh… let's say you weren't a captain, or maybe I was a major. What would you say then?
Cpt. Miller: Well, in that case… I'd say, "This is an excellent mission, sir, with an extremely valuable objective, sir, worthy of my best efforts, sir. Moreover… I feel heartfelt sorrow for the mother of Private James Ryan and am willing to lay down my life and the lives of my men—especially you, Reiben—to ease her suffering."
Mellish: [chuckles] He's good.
Pvt. Caparzo: I love him.
[they make mocking kissy-faces at each other] - The Running Gag of "FUBAR" and Upham's struggle to figure out what it means. Mellish also tells Upham that FUBAR is German. Coincidentally, it happens to be similar in sound and meaning to the German word "furchtbar", meaning "terrible".
- The American troops are stumbling about a small French village looking for their CO, who might know where Ryan is. They rest for a minute in a bombed-out building, where Sergeant Hill accidentally knocks over a wooden beam. It hits a brick wall, collapsing it to reveal the adjacent room is filled with German soldiers. It's only funny for about two seconds before both sides grab their rifles for a tense standoff. And then it goes right back to funny when both sides start yelling at the other to surrender, with neither one of them backing down. It's exactly as hilarious as you think. And then Ted Danson shows up and kills everyone.
- What's more? Multiple American soldiers actually tell the rest of their squadmates to open fire, but no one actually does!
- Reiben sitting on top of Ryan to ensure he doesn't get hit by a tank shell.Cpt. Miller: (running over to them) RYAN! Ryan!
Pvt. Ryan: Get offa' me!
Cpt. Miller: (to Ryan) Are you all right?
Pvt. Ryan: Get offa' me!
Pvt. Reiben: Yeah, I'm fine too, Captain. Thanks. - Pvt. Ryan telling the story of the last time he and his brothers were together. Specially the description of his brother's lady friend: "Picture a girl who took a nosedive from the ugly tree and hit every branch on the way down."
- Ryan's story about his brothers when his oldest brother Danny who had been doing something in the barn with Alice Jardeen. Sean took Ryan up to the barn where they found Dan trying to take Alice's bra off him because he had taken her shirt off and Sean was watching and Ryan's description of the story.
Ryan: (Quoting Sean) "Danny you're a young man don't do it!" Alice screams and runs but she still has the shirt slightly on and runs into the wall and knocks herself out. Danny is super mad but Alice is still knocked out, so he needs to wake her up, so he grabs her by the leg and grabs a shovel and chases after Sean who yells "What're you trying to hit me for? I did you a favor" - After a bunch of German soldiers are captured and led off, Mellish repeatedly says "Juden!" or "I'm a Juden!" to them while brandishing a Star of David pendant he's wearing.
- Reiben telling the story of when he tried to sell a too-small bra to a well-endowed lady. She caught on when he had a...physical reaction, and, according to him, told him to think of her "gifts" when he needed comforting. This happens just after Upham translates an Édith Piaf song: "To be honest, I find myself curiously aroused by you".
- "Steamboat Willie. Toot toot!" Almost every scene of him is a riot in just how pathetic this guy is. His initial scene is after he killed Wade; when captured and fearing execution, he tries sucking up to the Americans by talking about American pop culture, mangling the national anthem, and finally saying "Fuck Hitler!"Willie: Please! I love American! Fancy schmancy! What a cinch! Go fly a kite! Cat got your tongue! Hill of beans! Betty Boop, what a dish! Betty Grable... Nice gams! (tries singing the national anthem) I say, can you see...I say, can you see...I...say...fuck Hitler. (in tearful hysterics) FUCK HITLER!
- While the fact that he killed Miller is not funny in the slightest, his parting scene where he recognizes Upham can earn a chuckle with how unceremoniously killed off he is. You never see his body afterwards, poor bastard.
- A very dark moment of funny is when Tom Hanks tells the wrong Private James Ryan (played by Nathan Fillion) that his brothers died, causing him to break down crying even though it was just a mistake.
- Also afterward:
Ryan: Does that mean my brothers are OK?
Miller: (as if he doesn't care anymore) Yeah, I'm sure they're fine.- Also, even after the misunderstanding is cleared up, Ryan is still sobbing because he thinks there's a chance that his brothers really are dead and they got mixed up with the other Ryan's brothers.
- The part where the German propaganda starts blasting out in a town being attacked by Americans, telling the soldiers that the Statue of Liberty "ist kaput". Made even funnier by Miller's response:" 'The Statue of Liberty is kaput'—that's disconcerting."
- This incident:Miller: Hey stupid!
[Every soldier in his immediate vicinity runs toward him] - This exchange:Horvath: Maybe I should go up the middle, sir.
Miller: The way you run? I don't think so.
Horvath: Maybe I should go left, sir.
Miller: Maybe you should SHUT UP! - The Running Gag on Miller's Mysterious Past.Upham: Reiben, so you even know where he went to school?
Reiben: Cap'n didn't go to school, they assembled him at O.C.S.* outta spare body parts of dead G.I.s. - Upham after he realizes what FUBAR means before the climatic battle. He and Mellish laugh then Mellish slaps Upham on the cheek.Both: *Laughing*Mellish: *Slaps Upham on cheek*Upham: (Under his breath) Ouch.
- In a somewhat dark comedy moment, Wade and two other medics have just managed to stop a soldier's bleeding when said soldier gets shot in the head and killed anyway. Wade becomes so frustrated that he undoes the bandage and throws it away.
