Funny / Quinton Reviews

• "The End of iCarly": Quinton goes on a rant about Sam forgetting that she's Jewish, and then responds to a potential audience reaction.
  Quinton: This comment section is going to be filled with people being like, "Well, what if Sam was just lying about her religion?" Yeah, well, what if she was huffing paint thinner?
• "The Failure of Victorious":
  • Regarding the Wii game, Quinton starts by saying that the game is so full of precise detail and trivia concerning the series, that it could have only come from someone who worked on the Kinect game and went overboard on their research, only to learn that the show was ending in a year.
    Game Developer: "I'm not gonna get to the end of this and find out I memorized all of this useless information for no reason. So we're making a new game. We're making a new one, we're putting it out this year, and we're going to pick a specific point in season three where it's set. There's not gonna be no character creation screen. There's not gonna be no dancing game. Because I'm gonna put every piece of information that I have learned about this show into this game. And it's gonna be set at that point in season three that we choose. And it's GONNA BE FUCKING CANON. I AM MAKING THE ULTIMATE VICTORIOUS GAMING EXPERIENCE."
  • Just before that bit, he notes that feels a kinship with the developers of these games, since they had to watch just as much Victorious as he did and also had to figure out how to justify all that wasted time.
  • At the end of the video, he happily states that if anyone was annoyed by how long the intermission was, that isn't his problem... because "Intermission Quinton" is a completely different entity whose actions he cannot control.
• Towards the end of "The Scandal of Sam & Cat" Quinton says that he needs the time code to start with a five instead of a four to make as many people angry as possible and make the video go viral. To do this, he has a bonus intermission called "How long can Quinton hold his breath?"
• "The Decay of Sam & Cat":
  • During a part of an intermission where Quinton is explaining the doppleganger theory, he goes on a rant about how he refuses to include shows like Big Time Rush in the Nickolodeon Sitcom Universe. Why? Because Big Time Rush is set in the same universe as SpongeBob SquarePants.
  • During his "things I forgot" segment Quinton talks about how the episode Tori and Jade's Playdate lead to many female viewers gay awakening, which is awfully sweet... then mentions how other fans discovered something else which is less so.
    Quinton: I get a lot of messages about this stuff. Some of them are really interesting and insightful and make me look at things from a different perspective. And others are not that. Y'know cause sometimes I'll get a message from someone that was like "hey you know I was a girl watching Victorious, and watching this episode with Jade made me realise I was attracted to women" and I think that's really beautiful and really cool to hear. And then other people will send me messages like "I grew up watching Victorious and watching Jade on television made me realise that I like people wearing fishnet stockings" and I'm like I didn't need to know that one!
  • Following that one Quinton mentions an odd wardrobe choice for Tori, wherein she wears a distinct necklace throughout seasons 2 and 3 before stopping during "Tori and Jade's Playdate" at which point Jade starts wearing it. After a beat Quinton starts having a Freak Out about whether this was just an odd costume choice or a deliberate Easter Egg meant to "ruin [his] life". He then concludes by saying how Victorious was only ever supposed to be a tangent for his iCarly reviews and there is now a Victorious shaped whole in his brain that he can't fill in no matter how hard he tries.
• "Paul is Dead | A Beatle Conspiracy": Quinton makes fun of himself while explaining the difference between zoologists and cryptozoologists.
  Quinton: Zoologists ask for proof and cryptozoologists do not. A cryptozoologist will look at a grainy photo of a hairy creature and say, "Look, that has to be evidence that I'm right about Bigfoot!" And a zoologist will then say, "I'm pretty sure that's famous YouTuber Quinton Reviews."
• "The Decline of History Channel": Quinton wonders why aliens seemed to have only visited ancient peoples of color, and says that this suggests that aliens don't like white people. He explains that he posted that joke on Twitter, making a few people angry. This is then followed by the announcement that he is selling "Aliens didn't like white people" merch.
• "Creepypasta | Fallen Titans #12":
  • The Stylistic Suck chain email, which has a little girl in a creepy photo with...a giant blue Garfield.
  • Near the end of the video, Quinton rolls off a cavalcade of Narm-tastic titles from /r/nosleep using a bunch of silly voices, which include such treats as "I have an unusual job. The pay is good, but I really hate the moaning sounds that go with it", "I've been trying to leave my bathroom for 30 minutes" (spoken with a slight twang), and "I Caught My Grandfather Talking to an Air Vent". And then there's "the spookiest of all": "My Rich American Family".
• "The Collapse of Sam & Cat":
  • During the Swindle intermission, Quinton kept misnaming Captain Cybertor as stuff like "Cyberbullying" and "Cyber Monday."
  • Although the Jennette McCurdy portion of the video is mostly played seriously, there's a brief moment of levity during one scene where Jennette's boyfriend at the time (who had become a born-again Christian earlier on in the book) suddenly reveals that he believes that he's a reincarnation of Jesus Christ. Quinton's "WTF?" expression at that says it all.
• "The Timmy Turner Movies (A Fairly Odd Saga)"
  • Given just how long the iCarly miniseries ran, Quinton has to pre-empt every mention of the year with the statement "current year 2016/17", followed by an uncomfortably long pause.
  • When bringing up the Fairly Odd Parents' Seasonal Rot, Quinton jokingly asks what the writers are going to do next...
    Quinton: What's next? A talking dog with radical attitude? [briefly laughs] No, seriously, that's what they did next.
  • Quinton's statement that, to keep his Godparents, Timmy "still lives with his parents, maintains an emotional attachment to his childhood possessions, and doesn't have a love life." But he quickly points out that this is normal; "he is a millennial, after all."
  • Quntion points out that the choice to have Vicky have "cone tits" invoked didn't come from nowhere:
    Quinton: Someone had to plan this. Someone had to take out a piece of paper and write down "Vicky — pointy boobs". And that piece of paper had to go up through the chain of command. It had to go through an entire process of approval, and no one shot this one down.
  • In a moment of Black Comedy, Quinton points out the Fridge Horror in Jurgen's plan to make Timmy fall in love by shooting him with one of Cupid's arrows... in a school full of kids. Quinton sums up the situation as something that "could have ended very badly." This remark is accompanied by Drake Bell's mugshot for his drunk driving charge.
  • When calling out the implication that Chester and AJ are both jealous that Timmy got held back, getting to "remain young" while they grew up, the review briefly cuts away to a skit of Chester (played by Quinton) meeting "Tommy", who he hasn't seen since the latter got held back in fifth grade. The meeting quickly turns awkward and uncomfortable when Tommy reveals he's still in the fifth grade. Particularly when Tommy reveals he spends an uncomfortable amount of time around ten-year-old girls. invoked
    Tommy: Don't go to the park tomorrow!
    • This version of Tommy comes back to scream incoherently at a confused and scared Chester about how "Donald Trump took my Fairlys!" He goes on to threaten Chester, demanding he helps Tommy break into Trump Tower to help Tommy steal back his Fairlys, or else he'll kill Chester's whole family.
    • This wraparound segment ultimately ends with Chester encountering a (png of) Donald Trump, who wishes to become President and immediately destroys Dimsdale, wiping Tommy from existence. Only Doug Dimmadome (Wilford Brimley) is left standing in the ruins.
  • Quinton later claims that Drake Bell's wooden delivery of "Uh oh!" was an organic reaction to shitting himself on set.
  • When Santa is thrown into the present-making machine, the shot briefly cuts to blood coming out of a woodchipper before then transitioning into the actual film, where a derp-eyed Santa is unwrapped... to the saddened shock of Pete Martell and Sheriff Harry S. Truman, who keep calling him "Laura Palmer" for some reason.
• The Baffling Lore of Nicktoons Unite:
  • During his pinboard segment discussing the main villains of the first game, he puts up photos of them as per usual. The thing is, he also made them in-scale to each other, meaning Plankton's picture is so small that it makes him a nigh-unseeable speck.
  • In the Attack of the Toybots section of the video, Quinton, Billiam, and his wife recite the same trivia about an Easter Egg on the Mr. Huggles packaging in the game whenever they come across one. Eventually the gag mutates further, such as having Quinton recite it with faux-reverse audio, or overlapping all the previous instances of the gag and having them play simultaneously.

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