Funny / Pet Sematary

• In the disastrous first ten minutes after arriving at their new home, Gage gets stung by a bee, Ellie falls off a swing and hurts her knee, and Rachel dissolves as she tries to take care of them both on top of her already stressful day. Louis looks around at the chaos of his wailing, tearful family and thinks to himself in wonder, I'm going insane. Whee!
• After his son dies, Louis, (as he's near to losing his sanity from grief) can't help but think of dark jokes.
  • When he buys the coffin, in his mind "an announcer suddenly spoke up cheerfully: I got my kid's coffin free, for Raleigh coupons!"
  • When his friend says that they should meet for lunch, the idea seems so alien to him that it reminds him of Sci-Fi novels: "The natives here on Planet Quark have an odd custom when one of their children dies, Lieutenant Abelson: they meet for lunch. I know how grotesque and barbaric that sounds, but remember, this planet has not been terraformed yet".
  • And a bit more Black Comedy: after Louis has finished digging up Gage and is carrying his body, wrapped in a tarpaulin, back to his car, a dog starts howling loud enough to wake its owner and their neighbor across the street. Louis panics and hides behind a tree while this exchange takes place:
    Dog: "Augggh-ROOOOO!"
    Owner: "Shut up, Fred!"
    Dog: "Augggh-ROOOOO!"
    Neighbor: "Shut him up, Scanlon, or I'm calling the police!"
    Louis: *thinking* Goddamn you, Fred...
• Surrendra Hardu, the doctor that has the night shift at the university, describes an incident where an incredibly drunk girl with a large cut on her thigh is brought into the infirmary, and while he is stitching her up, she pukes on his head.
  • What really makes the scene work is that while Louis and Steve Masterson, their colleague, are doubled over laughing, Surrendra's expression is a small smile, like "It was just another day at the office."
• While Rachel and the kids are visiting her parents for Thanksgiving, when she calls Louis he hears that Gage apparently wound up escaping while he was having his diaper changed and wound up pooping all over Rachel's father's study. Given his relationship with his father-in-law, Louis can't help but smile and think "thatta boy, Gage!"
• Doubling as a moment of Heartwarming, as Louis prepares to be a pallbearer in Norma Crandell's funeral, Ellie tugs on his sleeve and whispers in all seriousness, "Daddy? Don't drop her."
• Over breakfast, Ellie Creed encouraging her brother to use vulgar language.
  "Say shit, Gage."
  "Shit-Gage."
  "Say farts, Gage."
  "Farz-Gage." said Gage. "Farz-n-shit."
• The banter between Steve (an atheist) and Surrendra (a Hindu):
  "We're almost through with the front file," Masterton said. "Say hallelujah, Surrendra."
  "I decline," Hardu said, smiling. "I am not a Christian."
  "Then sing the chorus of 'Instant Karma' or something."
  "May you both shine on," Hardu said, still smiling, and glided out the door.
• The matter-of-fact description of the massive blowup that occurs between Irwin Goldman and Louis when Irwin offers to pay Louis' way through med school if he breaks up with Rachel:
  Goldman told him to get out and that if he ever saw Louis on his doorstep again, he would shoot him like a yellow dog. Louis told Goldman to take his checkbook and plug up his ass with it. Goldman said he had seen bums in the gutter who had more potential than Louis Creed. Louis told Goldman he could also shove his goddam BankAmericard and his American Express Gold Card right up there beside his checkbook.
  None of this had been a promising first step toward good relations with the future in-laws.

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