Funny / Nioh

• Throughout the game, you'll find quite a few preset Bloody Graves (placed by the devs, rather than where players died). These are signified by red text, and usually have a proper name and sobriquet. A number of them have some... interesting circumstances.
  Gyosuke the River Rider: Fell to Death, grave is next to water
  Kyutaro the Pig: Fell to Death, grave is on a public bath beam
  Why me: Slain by Yoki, grave is nowhere near Kyutaro
• The scene where you first meet Hanzo and he randomly pulls a cat out of his coat and then announces it's almost dawn. Apparently ninjas could tell time by looking at the dilation of a cat's pupils, but even then the fact that he's just carrying one around with him in his clothes is pretty ridiculous.
  • You meet said cat later after, which William outright calls the "cat-clock." Then the cat speaks.
• After you beat the Hino-enma and save Kuroda Nagamasa, the following cutscene in which William is invited to a nobles' dinner with Kanbei involves a guy singingly dreadfully while playing around with his pole-blade.
  • As William starts to complain, Hanzo tells him to lighten up in English. Cue William making a Double Take as he realizes the guy sitting next him this whole time was Hanzo.
  • After, the camera goes to the dancing guy and pans down to show Nekomata is also dancing with him, complete with ridiculous meowing.
  • William's had enough and goes outside to brood, only to meet Okatsu, who wants him to relay a message. Then comes this exchange.
    William: Who are you?
    Okatsu: ...I dislike the company of drunk samurai.
    William: Hey! I am no samurai!
    Okatsu: A common drunk, then. Even worse.
• William's a little miffed that his first meeting with "Ieyasu" is actually just a body double, noticing "Ieyasu" doesn't even have a Guardian Spirit and that even the Kodama don't even respect him.
  William: This one has absolutely no power. Hanzo, do you seriously follow this pretentious little prick?
  Torii Mototada: What did he say!?
  Hattori Hanzo: Lord Torii, William says that man over there is actually Lord Ieyasu's body double.
  Torii Mototada (with his Guardian Spirit flapping and chirping angrily): Somehow I think he said more than that! And Hanzo, didn't you tell him about Lord Ieyasu's body double before this!?
  * William stifles a laugh*
  Torii Mototada: WHAT ARE YOU LAUGHING AT!?
• "The Disappearing Ranjatai" Sub Mission, is potentially the easiest and shortest quest you'll undertake. You're given four chests that you have to investigate which may contain the item you're supposed to get. Some of said chests are Majina which will fight you if you make the wrong gesture, take too long, or hit first. If you copy the gesture it makes, will immediately surrender. One of these chests is literally in the little house just beyond the gate right in front of you. The Yoki and Dwellers might prove to be the only dangerous creatures in the mission. Considering the quest giver is Matsunaga Hisahide, it's probably on purpose.
• "The Defiled Castle" starts you off... in the castle sewer system. Which means you're literally swimming in everyone's shit. Not even Hanzo is happy about this.
  Hattori Hanzo: Kelley has sealed Edo Castle's gate. We must quickly find another way in. I have an idea. It won't be pleasant, but desperate times call for desperate measures.
  • Even better, throughout the mission, you can pick up the "Dung Ball" item, which you can lob at enemies to lower their defense. Yes. You're actually slaying Yokai... by throwing shit at them.
    • Even then, it gets better. A variant of said item is the "Noble Dung Ball." Specifically, aristocratic shit. It's functionally the same as the normal "Dung Ball", but the main difference that it's... golden.
  • Said item is often obtained from a special variant of the mini-Umi-Bozu found in this mission called "Mudmen." Specifically, they're made of the sewage. Basically, they're Shitty-Bozu.
  • It's actually possible to skip the first Boss Fight with Honda Tadakatsu entirely, in the most absurd way possible: when you reach the end of the sewer, there'll be a locked door with a man behind it who'll open the door if you bring him... Dung Balls. You never find out why the guy wants them...
    • Unless you talk to him after giving him 30 dung balls, in which case it's heavily implied he was EATING THEM!
  • And to top everything off, you meet back up with Okatsu (or more specifically, de-brainwash her), who seemingly leans towards William for a kiss... then shoves him away because he smells like shit from wading through the sewage system.
    Okatsu: You reek! *shoves William away*
    William: *awkwardly smells himself and confirms it*
  • Immediately after, Kelley appears and takes her hostage, daring Tokugawa to sacrifice a loyal retainer and daughter. He's genuinely shocked when Tokugawa responds by saying he doesn't care and telling Kelley to get it over with, so much so that Okatsu is able to free herself while berating Ieyasu for his callousness.
• "Kuroda's Determination" sounds like a very dramatic sub-mission, but it quickly becomes hilarious. You rendezvous with Nagamasa, gives a Rousing Speech now that they're fighting Yokai instead of other people, after the Battle of Sekigahara to help clear out the stragglers. After you fight a number of high-tier enemies, you're pitted against an Onryoki. In the middle of the fight, you hear Nagamasa's muffled voice coming from inside the Onryoki, revealing that shortly after his spiel, he was immediately Swallowed Whole. The guy can't catch a break.
• The fact that Kelley's entire evil scheme was thwarted because the dreaded warlord he resurrected wasn't interested. Nobunaga rubs it in when he tells off the shocked alchemist for being an arrogant prick who just assumed that Nobunaga would just happily go back to putting his country through the horror of the Warring States again and abandon his wife in the afterlife to do so.
  • When you take the above into consideration, that just makes his Pre-Asskicking One-Liner even more hilarious. In all likelihood, Nobunaga was just spending some quality time with his wife in the afterlife, and then some poncy asshole brings him back from the dead to try and boss him around! No wonder why he's pissed! Not to mention that unlike how popular depictions of him often portray him as ridiculously hammy, he limits his spiel to a single sentence.
    Oda Nobunaga: Foreigner, you have caught me in a VERY bad mood.
• Complete "The Two Kings: Nioh" which has you fight Muneshige and Tadakatsu at the same time, leaves Hanzo, who suggested you, borderline crapping his pants.
  Hattori Hanzo: I... I was merely jesting, and yet... You did it. You defeated them both.
• The fight with Katakura Shigenaga is fairly unique in that there's no introduction cutscene - you enter his arena, he appears and then begins to wax poetic about how he will defeat you in the name of his Lord. You have full control of William during this sequence, and can simply shoot Shigenaga in the face mid-speech. He'll complain you're dishonorable for doing this, but if you attack him before the speech starts he'll rant about how you didn't even let him say his name first!
  • What makes this even funnier is the fact that you actually get a trophy for letting him finish his speech. Its name? "Good Listener".
• In Resentment Unleashed, there's this banter:

  Nekomata: To think you would bring along the One-Eyed Dragon, the Unrivalled Warrior, and Oshu's Nioh... You have come a long way, Anjin.
  Date Masamune: I care not for your little Guardian cat. Would you like me to tame it for you, Anjin?
  Nekomata: A dragon ought to know it is unwise to rile a cat. You have much to learn.
  Date Masamune: And you should learn to hold your tongue. Enough of this banter, it is time to end this.