Constantine's attempt at imitating Kermit's "Yaaaaaay!" catchphrase.
"Yeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeess."
"Hi-lo, Kuuuuuurmyit thee Froooog heeeere."
"The lovers, the dreamers, and cheese. Nailed it."
In general, Constantine's attempts to imitate Kermit are utterly hilarious, at first at least. Highlights include going up to Walter and talking about "heartwarming adventures and lessons about sharing and holding hands", all while sounding drunk off his felt ass.
The world's most dangerous frog has stagefright, so bad that Scooter has to go do the intro of the show. Then he falls off the show's title-card.
Constantine's escape from prison after the opening number involves a lot of Stuff Blowing Up, followed shortly by his detonating the phone he'd used to contact Dominic.
The Muppet Show: Spanish Version. As stereotypical as you can imagine, and just as awkwardly hilarious. Even Waldorf facepalms from the balcony and can't bear to watch.
Statler: Would you look at that. Waldorf: No! Statler: Good idea.
Later, the pair are genuinely impressed with Miss Piggy's singing - as it's so Giftedly Bad that it managed to make the show worse.
The Serial Escalation gag involving Jean and Sam the Eagle's badges.
Gonzo's "indoor running of the bulls" routine.
Salma Hayek is the celebrity guest for that show, and is thus seen in a red bull-running uniform along with Gonzo. When she asks if this is safe, Gonzo cheerfully replies, "Nope!"
In another cut scene, Statler and Waldorf suggest a movie "where we don't make a movie" and that "we get to go home early!"
One cut of the movie — the appropriately-named "Statler & Waldorf Cut" — does just that. It shows the opening, fast-forwards to the scene in Germany where the pair quip about the "Die Muppets"note "The Muppets" sign, and then to the credits.
Nadya ordering lights out as she walks off. Cue pitch-darkness and her running into something.
Nadya: Turn them back on, I can't see anything! You have to wait until I'm at the end of the hallway, it's a figure of speech!
According to this article that scene was Bill Barretta's (one of the Muppet Performers) idea.
Later, when saying goodnight to all the prisoners, we find out that the tough criminal played by Danny Trejo is apparently... DannyTrejo.
Ms. Poogy's surprising return, in a prison. Fittingly enough.
As tense as the scene is, seeing Kermit the Frog of all people in the Hannibal Lecter jacket and mask is a sight to behold.
For that matter, seeing a Kermit puppet (Constantine) making evil faces is pretty funny too. Especially considering the way he scrunches up into a smirk or grimace looks awfully similar to that memetic image of Kermit's angry face from Sesame Street.
Walter going full inspector while following Dominic.
Walter: Fozzie, Dominic's the reason we've been selling out our shows! He's been giving away tickets and bribing journalists to write great reviews! Fozzie: Why didn't we ever think of doing that!?
And then Fozzie dupes Walter with the newspaper trick, which leads to their realization about Kermit's odd behaviour.
Fozzie: Hey, want to see something funny? (shows newspaper with Constantine's face) Walter: Yes Constantine, the world's most dangerous frog-Fozzie, what does he have to do with what I have just told you? Fozzie: Nothing. But check this out! (puts finger on Constantine's mole) Walter: Oh, look, it's Kermit... (Fozzie removes finger) ARGH! Well, what did you do with Kermit?!
"Who would ever suspect babies of stealing the Crown Jewels?"
And Bobby Benson's nonplussed "Babies, meet your new boss" in response to their recruitment.
Ricky Gervais couldn't keep a straight face around the babies, so the puppeteers tried to make him break as much as possible.
The various times where Jean takes an extended break from work any chance he gets (at one point he and his family are spontaneously ready for a vacation), a playful nod to the very short work hours and generous holiday breaks French people do have.
Upon discovering that Constantine replaced Kermit, both Walter and Fozzie scream their heads off, which attracts the attention of some bystanders, who then carry on with their business as usual.
Walter, Fozzie and Animal are in a montage traveling back and forth between frozen tundra and scorching desert. Then, they finally find what they're looking for in the desert. A blinking arrow that points them to the gulag.
How does Piggy figure out which frog is the real Kermit? She asks Constantine (pretending to be Kermit) if he'll marry her, and he immediately responds yes. She asks the real Kermit, who stammers and hesitates, leading Piggy to realize this is her Kermie. Cue Piggy jumping him and kissing him.
The Mysterious Lemur turns out to be Dominic Badguy dressed in a lemur costume. It is exactly as hilarious as it sounds. Notably, the Lemur's whole identity isn't a surprise at this point. Him being in a big, fuzzy lemur costume, stroking his tail and looking so damn proud of it on the other hand...
After the movie's final number, Kermit informs Nadya that she can do her solo. Deep breath, and... The End.
Nadya: KEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEERMIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIT!!!
This bit that got cut from the theatrical version of "Interrogation Song":
Sam: To help with our investigation / Can you do a full translation? Dominic: What the Chef just said to you / Was "shoopty shoopty shtoo" / It's not Swedish.
The following bit shows them interrogating Beaker, however based on him motions and his manner of speech, Beaker was apparently the one they were getting to provide a translation of the Swedish Chef's testimony.
Another part that wasn't cut has Crazy Harry being interrogated. Instead of being asked any questions, he simply causes an explosion with his detonator as he usually does.
Really, the entirety of "Interrogation Song" counts.
A Crowning Moment of Funny for the songs though must go to Miss Piggy's rendition of the Macarena, heard here. Even Statler and Waldorf were shocked at it!
Piggy's Imagine Spot of her and Kermit's babies: a pink frog and a green pig.
Kermit's mirror routine with Constantine. Fozzie has broken the mirror, so Kermit, quickly puts on green paint over his fake mole and grabs a suit, before pretending to be Constantine's reflection.
Later, when Dominic enters the room, Kermit quickly mimes along to what Constantine is saying, resulting in quite a puzzled Dominic.
Not to mention, that the whole time, Fozzie has had to pose as a rug! Which becomes quite inconvenient when a champagne fridge delivery comes in, and Constantine tells them to put it "over there, on the bear-skin rug".
The fact that Scooter sings "Moves Like Jagger". While backed by penguins.
The extended version of the scene where Constantine informs the Muppets that Walter and Fozzie have "quit."
Constantine: Dominic is right. We'll be better off without them. Link: That's true. Floyd: No it ain't, man! Link: No! No, it ain't.
In the extended version, after Constantine reveals himself we get this exchange:
Rowlf: I knew it. No one can have a cold that long. Pepe: Or that bad an accent, okay.
The TV spots playing with the Polish the Turd trope where they read out actual tweetsnote from Twitter accounts made by Disney giving advance praise for the movie. Spelling errors and all.
Their r 2 kermits? Wut if theyre were 2 of me? That would be cray cray!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
In the extended version, there is a scene where Kermit sneaks through the London Church carrying a bouquet, runs into Dominic, and has to briefly pretend to be Constantine (since he still has the fake mole on him).
Dominic: What are you doing here? You're supposed to be getting ready, Number One. And also your [points at left cheek] thing is showing. Kermit: Uhh, Yes Um.. [clears throat, speaks with Russian accent] Yes o-of course. I know that you-you complete idiot! Why do you think I am walking around with these flowers to cover my face?! Dominic: All right. Calm down. Kermit:[normal voice] Thank you. [beat, remembering that Constantine never says "thank you", imitates Constantine] FOR NOTHING!!
" — does just that. It shows the opening, fast-forwards to the scene in Germany where the pair quip about the "Die Muppets"note sign, and then to the credits.